The Perfect Father. Elizabeth Bevarly

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СКАЧАТЬ part of my required reading in college. I was surprised by how much I liked him.”

      He released her hand, but not before skimming his fingertips lightly over the ridges of her bare knuckles. Sylvie shivered, uncertain whether it was because of his touch or the cold breeze rushing by.

      “How come you never put your humanities degree to use?” he asked out of the blue.

      She tossed the book in beside her purse, settled her arms on the open car door and rested her head on her overlapped hands. “I don’t know. I always meant to go for my master’s and then my Ph.D., thinking I would teach at a college level, but I just never got around to it. By the time I got my B.A., I was so sick of school I never wanted to go back. Now I’d love to go back, but I just don’t have the time. Or the funds,” she added with a philosophical shrug. “Maybe someday.”

      He nodded, but his mind seemed to be on something else.

      “You know, you never really gave me a definite yes or no,” she pointed out.

      “No, I didn’t.”

      Her heart fell. He wasn’t going to do it, she thought, surprised at the depth of her disappointment. There were others on her list, she reminded herself. She still had a good chance of finding someone. But suddenly no one else seemed suitable. Chase Buchanan was it, she decided. The perfect candidate to father her child. If he said no, she didn’t know what she would do.

      “There’s one thing I don’t understand about this,” he said further.

      “What’s that?”

      “Why does the father of your child have to be someone you know? If you’re so determined to have a baby, then why don’t you just go the artificial insemination route? It’s worked out fine for other women.”

      She nodded. “I know. And I did think about that as an alternative. I’ve heard you can virtually fill out an order form of what you expect from a donor and everything, but...”

      “But what?”

      She shrugged and looked away. His intense scrutiny was making her feel a little anxious. “That’s not for me. I mean, I consider myself to be a thoroughly modern woman with thoroughly modern beliefs, and I certainly wouldn’t fault any woman who chose that option. But... It’s not for me,” she repeated simply.

      “Why not?”

      She paused before elaborating, trying to think of the best way to make him understand. “It’s just that... I guess I’m old-fashioned in a way, too. I don’t have it in me to become impregnated while I’m lying on a metal table with my feet in stirrups and no one to share the experience but a team of experts in white coats, you know?”

      He grimaced at her graphic description but said nothing.

      “A baby should be conceived in a moment of affection,” she went on softly. “Even if that moment only lasts...well, a moment. There should be some kind of positive emotion shared by the two parents, even if it’s only temporary. At least, that’s how I feel about it.”

      “Most people would say that the emotion involved should be a deep and abiding love that would last forever and unite the family as one,” Chase said.

      “I know that,” Sylvie agreed, glancing away once more. “But I’m not convinced such an emotion exists.”

      When Chase said nothing, she looked at him again and could see that he was mulling over her statement. “Not that I disagree with you, but how come you feel that way?” he finally asked.

      She shook her head resolutely. “I know there are those people who believe in love forever after,” she continued. “Heck, my sister is one of the leading proponents. In fact, Livy being such a profound believer in the powers of love is probably why I’m so anxious to avoid it.”

      “Why’s that?”

      Sylvie hesitated before replying. Although it was true that Livy had finally found happiness with Daniel McGuane, it was also true that there was no other man in the universe like Daniel. Sylvie was certain anyway that she’d never find someone so utterly compatible with her own needs.

      “Before Livy’s husband came into her life, I watched her become involved with one guy after another—one loser after another—and she always ended up with a broken heart. I decided a long time ago that I would never let some bogus guy treat me the way men used to treat her. Uh-uh, no way, no how.”

      “But you yourself said she’s happily married now,” Chase observed. “Why don’t you think the same thing will happen to you?”

      “There’s a big difference between me and Livy,” Sylvie told him. “She’s always wanted to be married. She’s always wanted to have a man in her life. Me, I’m more independent. I don’t want to be attached to anyone forever after. I don’t want to find myself under any man’s thumb.”

      “But having a baby would attach you to someone forever after. You’ll be responsible for that child the moment it’s conceived.”

      “That’s different,” Sylvie said with a smile. “Babies and children need you. They love you unconditionally, no matter what kind of minor character flaws you might have. They don’t try to change you, they don’t put restrictions on your emotions and they don’t play mind games with you. That’s not true of the men I’ve known.”

      Chase nodded thoughtfully, thinking her description of men fit perfectly what he’d always considered true of women. Interesting that they should share such identical philosophies about the opposite sex.

      “Give me some time, Sylvie, okay?” he asked. “What you’re suggesting is a little unorthodox, to say the least.”

      “I need to know within two weeks,” she reminded him.

      “Why the rush?”

      “I want a baby for Christmas,” she said, grinning.

      She could see that there was still something troubling Chase, still something he didn’t quite understand about her grand plan. “What is it?” she asked him.

      “There’s one thing we haven’t discussed,” he said, confirming her suspicion.

      “And that is?”

      He lifted a hand to brush her bangs back from her forehead, a surprisingly intimate gesture that she hadn’t expected at all. His fingers were warm against her skin, his eyes revealing how unexpectedly the action had come to him, too.

      His voice was soft when he said, “Where precisely will I fit in to the picture after my initial assignment is completed?”

      “What do you mean?” she asked, her own voice sounding thinner than usual.

      “After...after I make love to you, Sylvie...” He swallowed hard before he continued. “After you become pregnant, then what happens between me and you?”

      “I guess we just go back to the way things were before.”

      “And do you honestly think we’ll be able to do that?”

      She СКАЧАТЬ