Daddy's Double Duty. Stella Bagwell

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      “Of course I do. I have baby nieces and nephews. But I didn’t hold them when they were this small. Come to think of it… none of them were ever this small.” He gestured toward the twins. “I might do it all wrong.”

      “I might do it all wrong, too,” she suggested. “So we might as well try together.”

      Realizing it would look strange if he kept protesting, he said, “All right. I’ll watch you first.”

      She bent over Rose’s cradle and after carefully placing a hand beneath the baby’s head, lifted her out of the bed and into her arms. After a moment, Conall moved up to the other cradle and, in the same cautious manner, reached for the boy.

      Once he had the child safely positioned in the crook of his arm, he adjusted the thin blue blanket beneath little Rick’s chin so that he could get a better look at his face. It was perfectly formed with a little pug nose and bow-shaped lips. Faint golden brows framed a set of blue eyes that were now wide open and appeared to be searching to see who or what was holding him.

      Vulnerable. Needy. Precious. As he held the child, memories carried him back to when he and Nancy had first married. In the beginning, he’d had so many dreams and plans. All of them surrounding a house full of children to carry on the Donovan name and inherit the hard-earned rewards of the Diamond D. But those dreams had slowly and surely come crashing down.

      Now as Conall experienced the special warmth and scent of the baby boy lying so helplessly in the crook of his arm, Conall wasn’t sure that Vanessa yet realized what a treasure she’d been handed. But he did. Oh, how he did.

      “Conall?”

      Reining in his thoughts, he pulled his gaze away from the baby to find her staring at him with a faintly puzzled look on her face. Had she been reading his mind? Conall wondered. Surely not. Down through the years he’d perfected the art of shuttering his emotions. Baby Rick wasn’t strong enough to make him change the longtime habit.

      “Am I doing something wrong?” he asked.

      For the first time Conall could remember, his secretary actually smiled at him with those big brown eyes of hers.

      “No. You look like you were tailor-made for the job of Daddy.”

      Her observation struck him hard, but he did his best to keep the pain hidden, as though there was no wide, empty hole inside him.

      “Not hardly,” he said gruffly. “I’m not… daddy material.”

      One delicate brow arched skeptically upward. “Oh? You don’t ever plan to have children of your own?”

      For some reason her question made him pull the baby boy even closer to his chest. “That’s one thing I’m absolutely certain I’ll never have.”

      Clearly taken aback by his response, her gaze slipped away from his and dropped to the baby in her arms. “Well, everyone has their own ideas about having children,” she said a bit stiffly. “I just happen to think you’re making a sad mistake.”

      A sad mistake. Oh, yes, it was a sad mistake that she was misjudging him, Conall thought. And sad, too, that he couldn’t find the courage to tell this woman that at one time he’d planned to have at least a half-dozen children.

      But if he let her in on that dream, then he’d have to explain why he’d been forced to set it aside. And why he planned to live the rest of his life a lone bachelor.

      Hardening himself to that certain reality had changed him, he knew. Even his family often considered him unapproachable. But none of them actually understood the loss he felt to see his siblings having children of their own, while knowing he would always be cheated out of one of life’s most blessed gifts.

      “You have a right to your opinion, Vanessa. Just like I have a right to live my life the way I see fit.”

      She cast him a pained look, then turned her back to him and walked a few steps away as though she’d just seen him for the first time and didn’t like what she was seeing.

      Well, that was okay, Conall thought. What his secretary thought about him didn’t matter. It wasn’t as if they were romantically linked, or even close friends.

      He looked down at the baby in his arms and felt something raw and sweet swell in his chest. Vanessa would no doubt provide the twins with love. But they needed a father. And at some point in the future she would probably provide them with one. Then her family circle would be complete and that was only right.

      Yet strangely, the idea left Conall with a regretful ache.

      Chapter Three

      Later that evening, long after their visit to the orphanage had ended, Vanessa sat in a quiet courtyard behind their villa-style hotel, and tried to relax from the hectic pace of the day. Along with the busy schedule of flying, meeting with lawyers and visiting the babies, her cell phone had rung continually all afternoon. Most of the calls were from people here in Vegas who’d been mutual friends of her and Hope and were just now hearing about the tragedy. Vanessa appreciated their concern and interest, but she was exhausted from explaining about the twins and sharing her grief over Hope’s death.

      Finally, in desperation, she’d left the phone in her room and walked outside to enjoy the cooling desert air. Now as she sat on an iron bench beneath a huge Joshua tree and watched darkness fall on the distant mountains, she wished she could turn off thoughts of Conall as easily as she’d turned off the phone.

      The man was an enigma. After weeks of working with him, she still didn’t understand what made Conall tick or what drove him to work long, trying hours for the ranch. Clearly he was ambitious. Every morning he arrived at the office at least two hours ahead of her, which meant he went to work before daylight. And when she left in the evenings, even after working overtime herself, he remained at his desk making calls or meeting with horse-racing connections. Running the Diamond D was clearly more than a job to him. It was the entire sum of his life. Did he invest so much of himself because the ranch was family owned and operated?

      She could only guess at the answer to that question. But there was no doubt that Conall was a man of striking looks with plenty of money to match. The ranch could easily afford to hire an assistant in order to free Conall from his grueling schedule. With part of his workload eased, he’d be able to travel the world and indulge in all sorts of lavish recreations, with a trail of willing women trotting behind him. Yet none of those things appeared to interest him in the least. She seriously doubted he would accept the help of an assistant, even if the person volunteered to work for free. He was a man who wanted things done his way and refused to trust just anyone to carry out his orders.

      Vanessa often wondered if he was still bitter over his divorce, or perhaps he was still in love with his ex-wife and wanted her back. Maura had never mentioned the cause of her brother’s divorce and Vanessa wasn’t about to question her childhood friend about him. The hopes and dreams and feelings going on inside Conall weren’t her business. Or so she kept telling herself. But ever since she’d looked up in the orphanage and seen him standing there with her baby son in his arms, she’d been consumed with unexpected emotions and questions.

      The fact that he didn’t want or expect to ever have children had shaken her deeply. Of all the men she’d met through the years, Conall had always seemed like a man who would love and welcome children into his life. True, СКАЧАТЬ