The Forest Ranger's Husband. Leigh Bale

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СКАЧАТЬ I went to the doctor, then came home expecting to share the joy of my news with my husband. But he was gone. He was too much of a coward to tell me goodbye in person. Instead, he left me a note. A single scrap of paper.”

      The blood drained from his face, and he sat very still for several heartbeats. “You’re right, Andie. I should have called you again. Many times, until I got hold of you.”

      His admission made her angrier. She wanted to hurt him the way he’d hurt her. To let him have it for all the pain and doubt he’d put her through.

      “But didn’t I deserve to know I had a son? Why didn’t you at least tell me about Davie?” he asked again.

      “Because I didn’t want you thinking I was using a baby to get you back.” The truth tasted bitter in her mouth. She remembered the joy of feeling life growing inside her and giving birth to their child. Alone. The last thing she wanted was a husband who stayed with her out of obligation. She wanted a marriage of love or nothing at all.

      “I wish I’d known. I wish I’d been here,” he said.

      Something hardened inside of Andie. Something cold and unforgiving. They couldn’t go back in time. They couldn’t change the past. Even with Davie, she had no intention of letting Matt back into her life. “Well, you weren’t.”

      “So after I left you decided to start going by your maiden name.” Matt’s stomach clenched when he realized he had a child. He felt dazed and sick by the news. And yet strangely elated, too.

      Davie was almost six years old. Matt couldn’t fathom all the years he’d missed with his child. His son. Years when he could have enjoyed being a father and husband. Years of happiness with his family. He’d missed it all because of his foolish pride.

      “With you gone, it made things easier.” Andie didn’t smile, staring at him with disdain and—

      Dread.

      A deep aching loss filled Matt when he thought of all he’d missed. If she’d only told him he had a son, things might have been different. He might have—

      What?

      Would he have quit the job he loved and come running home? He couldn’t blame Andie for being upset. It was his fault. He wished more than anything that she’d told him about their baby, but he’d been the one to leave. He could have called her at work, written a letter or email, or even come home to see her during the holidays. But he hadn’t.

      He held up a hand, hoping to reassure her. Wishing the fear and hatred would leave her eyes. “I won’t try to take him from you, Andie. But I do want to be a part of his life. I’d like to get to know my son.”

      Her spine stiffened. “I … I’m not sure how that will work. I’d need to talk to him first. To tell him you’ve returned.”

      “You mean you didn’t tell him I was dead or something like that?”

      “Of course not. Maybe that would have hurt him less, but it wasn’t the truth. I knew he’d find out eventually that you were alive.”

      So his son believed his father had abandoned him. Filled with shame, Matt licked his dry lips. He could only imagine how Davie felt, missing his father. Wondering why his daddy never came home, read him stories, bought him gifts, played ball with him or tucked him in at night.

      Matt’s respect for Andie grew. She could have taken the easy way out and just told Davie his father was dead. But she hadn’t. And Matt couldn’t help wondering if Davie hated him. Maybe death would have been a better option. Matt should have been the one to die in that last wildfire, not one of his crewmen. At least death was something they all could understand. But not this aching abandonment.

      “Thank you, Andie.”

      “For what?” She bit out the words, her eyes narrowed with anger.

      “For having our child. It couldn’t have been easy, raising him alone. I can see you’ve done a great job with him. He seems like a wonderful kid.”

      “He is. The best.” Tears filled her eyes and she blinked.

      “Is he a healthy child? Is he smart?”

      “He’s perfect. What other kind of child would we make?”

      “With you as his mother, I’m not surprised.” He wasn’t sure if he saw doubt or gratitude in her gaze.

      “Were you ever going to tell me about our son?” He couldn’t help sounding a tad combative. He had to accept responsibility for his part in destroying his family, but he also felt angry that Andie had kept his son from him.

      “I didn’t see a need.”

      Ah, that hurt. But he supposed he deserved it. If he didn’t think she’d tear his head off, he would have stood and taken her into his arms. Now wasn’t the time. After surviving the wildfire, he’d reevaluated his priorities. If anything, Davie gave Matt a stronger reason to live and to rehabilitate his injured leg.

      “When can I spend some time with him?” Matt clamped an iron will on his patience. He wanted to see Davie right now, to study the boy’s facial expressions and learn his mannerisms. Matt felt like he’d just become a father. As though the amazing event had occurred only moments ago.

      For him, it had. He couldn’t believe it. He was a dad!

      “I’ll give you a call.” The angry lines creasing her mouth eased a bit, but the wall of tension remained.

      Instinctively he knew if he pushed too hard, she could make it very difficult for him to ever see Davie. Matt wasn’t stupid. One claim that he’d abandoned Andie over five years earlier and had never seen his own child wouldn’t go over too well with a family-court judge. He didn’t want attorneys and visitation battles. He wanted his family back.

      Matt reached inside his shirt pocket and pulled out one of his new business cards. He handed it to her and she took it reluctantly, letting it dangle from her fingers like a dead mouse.

      “My home and cell numbers are on the back. Call me anytime, night or day. I’ll come running.” He indicated the cane. “Or I should say I’ll come walking as fast as I can.”

      She didn’t smile at his attempted humor.

      Taking up his cane, he stood and took a step, hoping he didn’t fall flat on his face. His left thigh muscle quivered as he put weight on it, but he forced it to endure. He’d returned to work too soon after the fire, but he couldn’t wait to see Andie. He looked at her now, letting his gaze feast upon her pretty face. Her blond hair seemed a bit longer, flipped back in soft waves he longed to touch. She looked down at his business card and her hair swung forward, hiding her profile. He fought the urge to reach out and brush it back. To cup her face with his hands and look into her blue eyes as he kissed her lips.

      Words clogged his throat. So many things he wanted to say. So many apologies. But she wouldn’t believe him. Not yet. There was just one thing he needed to get off his chest right now. One thing he must say to her over and over again.

      “I never should have left you, Andie. I wish I had stayed.”

      She gave a harsh, disbelieving laugh. Her eyes looked СКАЧАТЬ