Bitter Memories. Margaret Mayo

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СКАЧАТЬ untidy, and when she offered to make them a cup of coffee she could not help noticing the letter that had been left lying on the cupboard where the kettle stood.

      Her eyes flicked over the boldly written page before she realised what she was doing, and once she had started she could not stop. It was from Alejandro’s father, and surprisingly written in English—probably as a concession to his son’s improving his knowledge of the language. Although his father’s mastery of English was not very good, Tanya managed to make out that he was asking Alejandro when he was coming home, because Juanita was growing impatient. It was time he came back and made arrangements for his wedding, which had been put off long enough.

      His wedding! Tanya felt the colour drain out of her face, and without stopping to think she picked up the letter and thrust it under Alejandro’s nose. ‘What the hell is this all about?’

      ‘You should not have read that, Tanya,’ he said quietly.

      ‘But I have,’ she cried, ‘and I want to know about this girl, this Juanita. Why have you never told me about her? Why have you let me assume that it’s me you love? Hell, if I’d known all you were interested in was an affair I——’

      ‘That is not the case,’ he interjected sharply.

      ‘No?’ Her eyes widened, full of scepticism. ‘It looks very much like that to me. Do you deny that there’s another girl in your life?’

      ‘Yes, I do,’ he announced strongly.

      ‘So who is Juanita?’

      ‘A lifelong friend, a family friend; we virtually grew up together.’

      ‘A friend?’ Tanya’s tone filled with disbelief. ‘It doesn’t sound as though she’s just a friend to me.’

      ‘Maybe there was more in it once,’ he admitted, ‘but that was over a long time ago. I have already written and told her about you.’

      Tanya shook her head, wanting to believe him, but unable to. If he had written Juanita would surely have told his father, especially if the families were close. ‘You’re lying,’ she whispered. ‘You’re trying to get out of it. Well, don’t bother; it’s over. I want nothing more to do with you. You’re nothing but a two-timing snake in the grass. Juanita is welcome to you.’ She picked up her jacket and headed for the door.

      ’Tanya, stop!’ Alejandro’s voice came after her. ‘Let me explain; do not walk out on me like this.’

      ‘What is there to explain?’ she tossed over her shoulder. ‘Everything is as clear as tap water. You’ve been using me; it’s as simple as that. You’ve wanted a girl to satisfy your basic male urges until you get back to your true love. I feel sorry for her, do you know that? I wonder if she knows what type of man it is she’s going to marry.’

      ‘Do you really think I would behave so badly?’ His dark eyes were cold, his whole body rigid.

      ‘Yes, I do,’ she yelled. ‘I not only think it, there’s proof in your father’s letter. Goodbye, Alejandro.’ She slammed the door and marched along the corridor, running down the steps and through the hotel grounds to the street. Not until she was long out of sight of the building did she slow down, but it was not until she reached the refuge of her bed-sitter that she let her tears fall.

      Never had she felt so humiliated. She really had thought that she meant something to him. Her sister had been right. If only she had listened, if only she hadn’t let herself get so deeply emotionally involved.

      For two days Tanya did not leave her flat. Her face was so swollen by crying that she was too embarrassed to go to work, and she didn’t even care whether she lost her job. Life was hell all of a sudden.

      To begin with she had thought that Alejandro would contact her, that he would come round and explain everything, declare his love, say his father was mistaken, but she heard nothing, and the two days turned into a week, a week of intense misery. When she could stand it no longer she swallowed her pride and marched round to the hotel. It couldn’t just end like this; she wouldn’t let it. Maybe he had been right and she wrong. Maybe he had written to Juanita. Maybe she ought to give him the benefit of the doubt.

      The news that he had gone back to Tenerife paralysed her, the shock of it almost greater than discovering that he had another girl. He had gone without a word, without trying to patch things up between them. It was over, all over, and when her sister announced that she had accepted a job as under-manager in a new, though relatively small hotel in Sheffield, Tanya readily accepted the invitation to go and live with her.

      Several months went by, during which time Tanya gradually came back to life, settled down in a new job as a junior secretary with a computer software company, and resolutely pushed Alejandro out of her mind.

      Until the day Charlene came home with the news that she had heard Alejandro was married. Tanya’s mouth fell open and she felt as though someone had kicked her legs from beneath her. She dropped on to the nearest chair. ‘To Juanita?’ she managed to whisper.

      Charlene nodded. ‘I’m so sorry, Tan. But I thought it best you knew. Now you’ll be able to get on with your life, accept some of those dates that you keep refusing.’

      ‘But how—how did you find out?’ Tanya’s blue eyes were wide and troubled, her face pale.

      ‘I got talking to one of the guests who hailed from Tenerife. I happened to mention Alejandro, and strangely enough he knew him—or at least he knew of him.’

      Tanya swallowed hard. ‘How long ago did he get married?’

      Charlene shrugged. ‘I don’t know; he didn’t say.’

      So that definitely was the end of it, thought Tanya, as she lay in bed that night. Not even to herself had she admitted that she always hoped he might come back, that he would trace her and declare his love for her. Now there was no chance, none at all. It was definitely the end.

      She still found it difficult to believe that he had been so warm and loving towards her when all the time there had been another girl in the background. She really had thought he was genuinely in love with her; she had never dreamt that it was all a game to him.

      After this further blow to her pride Tanya decided that she had stayed in long enough. She would go out on dates, enjoy male company, but she would never, ever, let herself become involved again. She would be like her sister, a dedicated career woman.

      All went well until two years later when she met Peter. He was warm and wonderful and kind, and she fell in love. It was nothing like her love for Alejandro; this was a much gentler relationship, with none of the passion and hunger that had so inflamed her body, sent her soaring with the stars and flying with the eagles. But nevertheless she was content, and twelve months later they were married. Three years after that Peter died from a long and serious illness. Tanya was devastated. At the age of twenty-four she had suffered two terrible losses.

      It took her time to pull herself together, but she managed it, and when she applied for promotion, and got the job of PA to the managing director of the software company, she put her heart and soul into her work, not minding that John Drake asked her to work long hours, that sometimes she dropped into bed so exhausted that she was sure she wouldn’t wake with the alarm the next morning. But always she did, and somehow she survived.

      When Charlene announced that she’d been offered СКАЧАТЬ