Not That Easy. Radhika Sanghani

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СКАЧАТЬ I said. ‘Tinder can be my backup if this fails. So which online site shall I join?’

      ‘Definitely OKCupid,’ said Lara. ‘I’ve heard Plenty Of Fish is more of a sex-only site. Besides, I’m on OKC and I’ve seen so many normal people on there. There’s an option where you can search for people who have degrees—it’s amazing. One week I only searched for people who have PhDs.’

      ‘Exactly,’ cried Emma. ‘On Tinder you have no idea what anyone does, so you could end up going on a date with some old perv, or a chav with shaved eyebrows who works in construction.’

      ‘What’s wrong with construction workers?’ I asked, semi-offended. ‘One of my uncles in Greece is a builder.’

      ‘Oh my God, no, I don’t hate all builders,’ said Emma. ‘I love when the hot ones go topless. But I’m talking about the sexist ones who yell out “Oi, sexy” at girls on the street. You know?’

      I shook my head at her. ‘You do realise that’s, like, the most ancient stereotype ever, and you’re just as bad admiring their abs?’

      ‘No, I get what you mean, Emma,’ said Lara. ‘You want to date someone on your level, which is why OKC is great.’

      I raised an eyebrow at her, wondering when my friends had got so snobby. I’d be happy shagging a homeless guy so long as he was hot and chlamydia free.

      ‘I mean, I still get my fair share of messages from chavs with topless selfies who spell “your” and “you’re” wrong,’ continued Lara. ‘And quite a few just asking me when I’m free to fuck them … But I’ve also seen so many people I know on there, and loads of them went to uni, which makes me think we would at least have stuff in common.’

      ‘So have you gone on any dates?’ I asked her, knowing she would have already told me if she had.

      ‘Well, I’m still casually seeing Jez, but I started panicking I was wasting my prime years by dating a weed addict with commitment issues, so … I went on three last month,’ she replied.

      ‘Oh my God,’ I shrieked. ‘Three dates and you didn’t tell me? What the fuck, Lara?’ She hadn’t told me about breaking Jez’s penis either. Why was Lara hiding things from me?

      She blushed. ‘I guess … Oh, I don’t know, I was kind of scared you’d judge me for being on a dating site.’

      ‘Judge you?! Hello, I’m the girl who stuck a bottle of bubble bath up her vagina and didn’t know you could get chlamydia from blow jobs.’

      She snorted. ‘Yeah, fair point. Have you got rid of the chlamydia by the way?’

      ‘The doctor gave her some pills. She’s fine,’ interrupted Emma. ‘Anyway, I’m done with talking about STIs. Lara, tell us your dating stories.’

      ‘No, wait! First, tell me why you thought I’d judge you,’ I said, ignoring Emma’s frustrated sighs. I still felt weird Lara hadn’t said anything about all this. Oh God—maybe it was because she felt she couldn’t because I’m so virginal and new to sex?

      Lara fidgeted on the sofa. ‘Oh, I don’t know, I guess just because most people who use dating sites are old, so I was a bit nervous you’d all think I was desperate or that it was a bit weird. But it just makes so much sense to date online,’ she said. ‘Like, you don’t have to bother with the cringeness of going to a bar and hoping you meet someone, then being depressed if you don’t. Or the pathetic hope that every cute guy on a park bench will come and ask you out.’

      I nodded in support, trying to prove that I was exactly the sort of person she could have told all of this to earlier. ‘Totally. This is definitely the way I’m going to find my next shag as well. I don’t even have to leave my sofa or dressing gown to find a man. This site was made for me.’

      ‘So you really only want one-night stands and not a boyfriend?’ asked Emma.

      ‘Yeah, I think so. It took me so long to lose my virginity that now I just feel like I have all this lost time to make up for. I want to get out there and have amazing sex with different people. I like sex—well, the little I’ve had of it. But it wasn’t particularly fun, and I’m so ready for that. I feel like it’s God’s gift to us, to get orgasms and have a bit of fun while global warming is tearing the planet apart.’ The girls looked baffled. ‘I just want to have my slutty phase already.’

      ‘Slutty phase?’ asked Lara with a raised eyebrow. ‘You know how I feel about the word “slut”, Ellie. It shows the double standards society has for men and women. He’s a player, she’s a slut, etc. You know how it goes. Can’t you find a different word?’

      ‘No,’ cried Emma. ‘It’s all about reclaiming the word “slut”. Like, it essentially means someone who has sex a lot, so why is that a bad thing? It shouldn’t be gendered, obviously, but we can just use it for men and women. If we call ourselves sluts, it loses its negative meaning. We need to re-appropriate it so it’s a positive word for someone embracing their sexuality and their, like, libido.’

      ‘Um, I’m lost,’ I said.

      ‘OK, like, if I start saying “Ah, that girl is so slutty” with admiration instead of judgement, it gets rid of all the connotations the word has. And even better if we start calling guys sluts too.’

      Lara looked impressed. ‘I had no idea you were so passionate about this, Em.’

      She grinned. ‘Well, as a former slut, it’s a topic that’s pretty close to my heart. I heard enough guys calling me a slut growing up, and each time I let it hurt me, before I realised I could just make that word mean whatever I want. When I decided slut meant “hot, sexually confident, empowered woman”, it didn’t hurt as much.’

      I nodded enthusiastically. ‘I did the exact same thing with “virgin”. Like, it used to make me feel frigid and ugly and left out. Until I had sex and then I realised it didn’t have to mean that. It could just be a factual word for not ever having been penetrated.’

      ‘Um, I think that’s how most people already use it, Ellie,’ said Lara.

      ‘No, what about “you look like a friendless virgin”?’ I asked. ‘Or “oh my God, you virgin weirdo”. Those are insults. It’s the same as “slut”. Emma’s so right, we should totally redefine it.’

      ‘Yeah,’ cried Emma. ‘Being a slut doesn’t have to make you feel any of that patriarchal bollocks where you’re cheap and dirty. It can make you feel powerful, carefree and in control. Fuck it, Ellie, go be a slut.’

      ‘Oh, I fully intend to. I want to meet up with these OKC dates and start shagging my way across central London.’

      Emma cried out, ‘Ah, you’re making me so nostalgic for my single past. I miss the days of waking up and trying to figure out how to get back home from whatever bit of London I was in. I used to love the crazy stories. Did I tell you I once got a tattoo during a one-nighter?’

      Lara and I exchanged shocked glances. ‘Um. No?’

      ‘I met him in a club.’ She grinned. ‘Just some random guy, but his flatmate was a tattoo artist. We biked back to Dalston—I sat on the handlebars. We were so fucked on MDMA that when we got back to СКАЧАТЬ