Lone Star Hero. Jolene Navarro

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СКАЧАТЬ fire for her. He had no idea how to help her with the rest of her life. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Talk to him, explain what’s going on. Believe me, sons are very forgiving of their mothers.”

      He shoveled some dirt from the nearby mound into the pit. The last of the flames died out, separating them with a column of thick smoke.

      She flopped back down in the camping chair. “I’m sure he’d be much happier without me as his mother.” She closed her eyes. “I can’t blame him. I don’t want to be around me, either.”

      “Seth loves you. He’s just angry and confused right now. Give him some time.” He coiled the hose. Standing a good ten feet away, he could still see her shivering as she huddled into a ball.

      With the fire out, all the heat vanished, leaving the cold breeze and smoke between them.

      He didn’t want to leave, but he had to get going.

      A few steps and he was next to her. He slipped off his jacket and laid it over her thin T-shirt. Sitting on his heels next to the camouflaged chair, his hand resting on the canvas arm, as close to her as possible without touching, he said, “Listen, Vickie, I know it’s been a tough couple of years, but life will get better.”

      “Thanks.” Her tight-lipped answer gave him the first clue that their friendly discussion had ended about as fast as it had started.

      He stood. “Call me if you need anything.” Like the hardheaded idiot he was, he waited. After a few extensive minutes loaded with nothing but his own breathing, Jake stepped back. “Good night, Victoria.” Another pause, just to make sure she had nothing else to say.

      With a locked jaw, he walked to his patrol car. He forced himself to look straight ahead, no turning back, not one glance over his shoulder. No, she had made it clear over the years she didn’t need him. So why did he think tonight would be any different?

      * * *

      Vickie watched as each step took Jake farther away from her. She bit her lip as her fingernails cut into her palms. The urge to call him ripped at her throat. He slipped into his black SUV and reversed out of her drive. A new type of sadness wrapped itself around her heart. She hadn’t felt so alone with him next to her.

      Thick smoke rose from the fire pit. She wanted to throw her whole album into the now-soggy, mud-filled hole, but it was a part of her children’s history. A part of her history—the good, bad and ugly.

      Instead of dwelling on old hurts, she knew her time would be better spent focusing on the good and reading her Bible. Two months ago, holding her unconscious son’s cold hand, she prayed for God’s forgiveness, wise words and a new heart.

      She had released the bitterness and anger; now she needed to put that new life into action. So many people deserved apologies from her. Where did she start?

      * * *

      Vickie walked back into her little single-wide trailer. For a second the thin walls of the narrow trailer closed in on her. It had been their temporary home for almost two years now. A stark difference to the three-thousand-square-foot home they had in San Antonio.

      That life was gone, along with the money and the delusion of a happy ever after.

      Snuggling deeper into the sturdy jacket, Jake’s warmth and scent surrounded her—outdoors and leather.

      On the faux-wood coffee table sat the Bible her father handed her when she signed the divorce papers. All he ever said about the whole mess was, “Stay focused on your faith. The Lord has you.”

      Why didn’t God give her a man of faith like her dad?

      She let the pages fall open. She had marked Jeremiah 16:19 on the night she sat in the waiting room when her son had almost died. “‘The Lord is my strength and my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.’” Her soft words helped fill the emptiness.

      Jake had given her that verse on the way to the ambulance. God would be her refuge. She moved to the last door in the tiny hall. Her son was hurting. She grew up with two sisters and had no idea how to deal with an eleven-year-old boy that wanted his father.

      He’d gotten so angry when she told him he wouldn’t be going to Tommy’s wedding. He blamed her for everything, the divorce, his father’s leaving, his trouble with Rachel.

      She protected the children from the worst of the betrayals, but she was losing her son.

      Tommy wanted to focus on his new bride without the kids around. Her fingers gripped the edges of the cherished Bible. Of course, he made her tell the kids.

      Leaning her forehead against the handmade warning sign taped to his door, she softly prayed. “God, please lift me up to be the kind of mother my children need. Cover Seth and Ashley in your love.”

      The trailer filled with heavy silence. She laid a hand against the plastic trim to support her now-weak legs. “I love Seth and Ashley so much. Thank you for the gift of being their mother.” She waited for a heartbeat...two... “Help me use the right words with them to heal any hurts.”

      The phone rang. Instead of answering, she moved to the freezer and pulled out the vanilla ice cream.

      “Victoria Maria, it’s your mother.” Her mother’s sweet Texas drawl was leftover from her Dallas debutante days.

      She was getting better at ignoring it.

      “I need to talk to you about Seth.” Her mother continued. “I know you’re in that trailer.”

      Vickie could hear the disgust in her mother’s tone. Each time she came to the house, her mother looked around the room as if she had found a roach running across the toes of her high-heeled shoes. Vickie closed her eyes and waited.

      “Victoria Maria Miller, pick up.”

      Elizabeth Marie Lawson never screamed, shouted or yelled, but she had a voice of steel and she expected to be obeyed.

      With a heavy sigh, Vickie picked up the landline with one hand and used the other to fill her mouth with ice cream.

      She knew it was a petty form of rebellion, but it felt good to answer while still chewing.

      “Mother, I’m not his wife anymore....” She made sure to swallow loudly, “and I’m back to Lawson.”

      “Are you eating while talking to me?”

      Vickie put the spoon in the sink. “Sorry, Mama.”

      “Sweetheart, I’m not sure if going back to Lawson is the best thing for the children. They should have the same last name as their mother. I think it is upsetting Seth.”

      “Mom, everything upsets Seth.” She wanted to curl up in bed, pull the blankets over her head and not listen to her mother’s lecture. “Mom, it’s been a really long day. Is Seth okay? Do I need to pick him up?”

      “No, no. I think it’s good for him to be around his grandfather. He needs a strong man of faith in his life. We were praying for his father, and Seth said you won’t talk to Tommy when he calls.”

      “Mom, Tommy is getting married in less than a week.” СКАЧАТЬ