Secrets Of An Old Flame. Jill Limber
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Название: Secrets Of An Old Flame
Автор: Jill Limber
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Зарубежные детективы
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She shrugged. “I didn’t say it was fair. I said it was the reason. It took me a couple of months to realize I was pregnant. I thought I was feeling ill because of stress.”
He’d been looking at Michael. His head came up and he nailed her with a steady gaze. “You were sick?”
She nodded, remembering the misery. “Yes. I felt awful for the first three months. I blamed you.” She’d blamed Joe for everything. She realized she still did.
He stared at her a long time before he spoke again. She worked very hard not to squirm. “Why did you come back?”
The only sound in the room was Michael’s suckling and her own heart, pounding in her ears.
It wasn’t an easy question, but a reasonable one. She needed to be honest with Joe. She’d hide her feelings about him, but there shouldn’t be any dishonesty between them when it came to Michael. She owed him that.
“To tell you about Michael. To try to straighten out the mess Daddy left behind so I can start a new life with my son.”
His expression hardened, making his jaw look even more square. “Our son.”
She hesitated for a long moment. “Our son.”
Joe rubbed his palm along his thigh in a gesture that looked like nerves to her. She had never seen him look anything but totally composed and in charge.
“What is his birth date?”
“July twenty-first.” At 11:51 p.m. She didn’t remember, because she had been so exhausted and doped up with medication, but that was the time the doctor had listed on the birth records.
He cleared his throat. “Is my name on his birth certificate?”
“Yes.” How long had her hand hovered over the line on the form marked “father”? It had been a close call. Now she was relieved she could tell him yes. It was one less thing to argue about.
“This new life you have in mind. Where do you think you’re going?” His tone had a challenging edge to it.
“I don’t know.” That was the truth. She had no idea where she and Michael would end up. She didn’t know physically where they would live, but she knew that emotionally she had to stay as far away from Joe as she could get.
She left that part out of the conversation. As far as she knew, he wasn’t interested in her, either.
Where she would end up depended on how much money she could raise and where she could find a job. Her art history degree had its limitations in the job market. Without her trust fund a job like the one she’d had at the gallery in New York wouldn’t pay enough to live on.
She pulled her sweatshirt down to cover herself as best she could and used her finger to break the suction between Michael’s mouth and her nipple.
“Is he done?”
The man certainly was curious. He had nieces and nephews. Hadn’t he ever seen a woman nurse a baby? “I need to switch him to the other side.”
Michael made a sleepy protest as she put him up to her shoulder and awkwardly tried to refasten her bra with one hand.
Joe reached for the baby and held him over his shoulder, gently rubbing Michael’s back. Michael gave a quiet little burp that made Joe smile.
He was not at all awkward the way most men were with newborns.
Nikki unfastened the other side of her bra and took Michael back, snuggling him across her lap so he could finish eating. This time, to Nikki’s relief, Joe didn’t fool with her sweatshirt.
They sat quietly for a long time before he spoke again. “Do you hate me?”
“No. I don’t really feel anything for you.” She didn’t look at him as she spoke, and wondered if he knew how big a lie she’d just told.
She felt so confused about him she wondered if she would ever figure it all out. She was still very attracted to him. To relieve the temptation she felt she wanted him out of the house. She could handle herself if they met in public places so he could have time with the baby, but the current living arrangement was just too cozy.
Nikki took a deep breath. She glanced up at him. “Joe, I want you to leave.”
He studied her for a moment. “Why?”
“Because you make me uncomfortable.”
He shrugged. “Okay. I’ll go watch the game.”
“No, I mean I want you to leave the house.” She was messing this up.
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