Turn Left at the Daffodils. Elizabeth Elgin

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СКАЧАТЬ are very few of us, here. I can’t tell you what we do exactly, but I am attached to No.4. Signals as a driver, and though we mark our letters On Active Service, and they are censored, it means nothing more than that I am billeted Somewhere in England at the back of beyond in a a tiny gate lodge with Nan and Evie.

      Carrie read what she had written, looking for anything that might not be allowed but decided that so far, there was nothing to invite the censor’s blue pencil or scissors. Somewhere in England was a term always used now, and could mean anywhere at all between the south coast and Hadrian’s Wall. She wondered who censored their letters. Sergeant James? She hoped not.

      I am alone, here, tonight. Nan and Evie have gone for a long walk, in the direction of the village which is about a mile away.

      Nan is very young – not yet eighteen – and delighted to be away from her ‘wicked stepmother’. Her eyes are enormous and brown, and her eyelashes are the longest I have ever seen. Nan and I room together; Evie, having a stripe up, has the small single bedroom. Evie is married to Bob, who is overseas and she writes to him every day.

      Married. So what did she write to Jeffrey about their own wedding? She should tell him, she knew, that she could not wait for the day when they would be able to arrange it but instead she wrote,

      I have been thinking about you and me, and if we will have a very quiet, village wedding. Long white dresses and veils are out, now, so if it looks like being a winter wedding, how about us being married in uniform? It would save a lot of fuss and bother and might be rather nice, don’t you think? As soon as we can get together, we must have a long talk about it…

      Talk! Dear sweet heaven, it wasn’t the wedding she wanted to talk about! It was after the wedding that sometimes had her sick with worry, even to think about it. Oh, they had kissed and cuddled a lot and at times got quite passionate, which had been rather nice, but actually doing it…

      And why did people refer to it as It? Wouldn’t lovemaking be a better word, though hers and Jeffrey’s coupling had been entirely without love. Just a taking, really, and she stupid enough to let it happen!

      I think that in about another month, I might be able to put in a request for leave, but will have to talk to Sgt James (our boss lady!) about it.

      When you get drafted to a seagoing ship, will you automatically get leave? If you do, perhaps I can try to get a 72-hour pass, so that at least we can talk together about things…

      It all came down to talking, didn’t it? And how would she, when they did eventually arrange leaves together, be able to tell him about her doubts?

      ‘I didn’t enjoy what we did, Jeffrey.’ Would she, dare she, say that? Would her criticism annoy him or would he understand how she had felt and tell her, promise her, it would be all right between them, once they were married?

      ‘Oh, damn, damn, damn!’ Irritated, she walked to the window to stand arms folded staring up the lane, seeing nothing. What a mess it all was! And why hadn’t she told her mother about it?

      Because she couldn’t talk to her mother about such things. Her mother had always been stuffy about what went on between married couples; had told her they found her under the lavender bush at the bottom of the flower garden and even though she had been very young at the time, she had known that babies grew in ladies ’tummies and the district nurse got them out.

      She returned to her bed, pushed off her shoes and lay back, hands behind head, wondering if she were making a fuss over nothing; thinking that maybe every bride-to-be had doubts and worries. Maybe even Evie had had them?

      Sighing, Carrie picked up her pen and pad.

      I think about you a lot, Jeffrey, and miss you very much. But it is all the fault of the war, and there are many couples not so lucky as you and me – Evie and Bob, for one.

      I hope you will get a ship, soon. It must be awful for you in barracks. I hated barracks when I first joined up but this place has more than made up for it. Nan and Evie and I get on fine, as I do with Corporal Finnigan and Private Fowler in the motor pool.

      She flicked back the sheets and read what she had written. Not much of a letter to write to someone you would almost certainly marry before the year was out; not what a lonely sailor wanted to read. She bit her lip, and wrote,

      Take care of your dear self. I love you very much and can’t wait for us to be married. When you read this, close your eyes and know that I am kissing you.

      She read the letter again then ended it Yours always, Carrie.

      She supposed that now she must walk to the NAAFI and post it. She wished she had gone out with Nan and Evie and thought that wherever they were, they’d be having a laugh. It made her wish all the more she was with them.

      Evie and Nan swung along the narrow road, feet in step, arms swinging, respirators to the left.

      Always your left to leave your right hand free for saluting!

      ‘Tell me – did you have bad feet when you joined up?’ Nan giggled. ‘Gawd – all that square-bashing and them clumpy shoes – I thought I’d be a cripple for life!’

      ‘Mm. I had awful blisters, but you soon get used to the shoes, don’t you? And my soft pair will be lovely for dancing in. Do you think there’ll be a dance-hall in the village? Or a picture house?’

      ‘Don’t think so, but I reckon there’ll be a pub. Tell me, Evie, were you miserable when you joined up, because there must be sumthin’ the matter with me, ’cause I couldn’t wait to get into uniform. And I still like it.’

      ‘Not miserable about being in the ATS. Just unhappy that Bob had to register for military service, and knowing we wouldn’t see each other for heaven only knew how long. So I made a vow, the day I waved him off at the station. I was joining up, too. I didn’t care which service. The first recruiting office I came to, be it Army, Navy or Air Force, I told myself, would suit me just fine. I worked on a huge switchboard in Eastern Command HQ. There were a lot of us there; it took my mind off being away from Bob, yet now here I am in a little gate lodge in the middle of a country estate and the tiniest switchboard I’ve ever seen. I’ll be able to operate it with one hand behind my back! How about you, Nan?’

      ‘Can’t wait for morning. I wonder who my first signal will be from? And just look there.’ She pointed ahead as they rounded the corner to where a cluster of houses, a church and public house lay ahead of them. ‘Last one there buys the shandies!’

      The public house at Little Modeley was called the Black Bull and was small and low-ceilinged and wreathed in cigarette smoke. Heads turned as they entered, then an old man with a pewter tankard in front of him smiled and nodded towards empty chairs beside him.

      ‘You’ll be two of them lady soldiers as have comed to the Priory,’ he said as they removed caps, gloves and respirators.

      ‘Er – yes. Very nice place,’ Evie conceded, dipping into her pocket for a half-crown. ‘What are you drinking?’

      ‘A half of bitter and thank you kindly, Miss.’

      ‘She’s a Missus,’ Nan said when Evie stood at the bar counter, ‘so don’t get any ideas, grandad. And me name’s Nan. I’m not married, and I’m not lookin’, either. But how did you know we were at Heronflete?’

      ‘You’ve СКАЧАТЬ