Red Leaves. Paullina Simons

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СКАЧАТЬ deal to take care of me. And if you had these doubts, why didn’t you say something in September when I first told you I was filing?’

      Now it was Howard’s turn to sigh. ‘You came to me and asked for an extra thousand dollars. I felt I had a right to know why you needed it. If you had had the money yourself, would you have even told me, or would I just have been contacted by your attorney?’

      ‘Howard. I don’t have an attorney. I hired some shyster for a thousand non-contested bucks. He didn’t even know how much the court fees were. First he said a hundred, then three hundred. I mean, the whole thing - that’s why I wanted you to look everything over.’

      ‘Nothing I can do about it now,’ said Howard, pushing the manila envelope aside. He cleared his throat. ‘It is very important to me that you are all right. That you are safe,’ he said.

      ‘Howard, I’m all right, I’m safe.’ Smiling, Kristina added, ‘The only time I’m not safe is when the other team tries to foul me on the court.’

      ‘How often does that happen?’

      ‘All the time.’

      ‘Still love playing?’

      ‘Kidding me? It’s what keeps me going. I scored record points in our exhibition game against Cornell last week.’ She grinned proudly.

      ‘I still do not know how this happened - you playing basketball.’

      Shrugging, Kristina said, ‘How does anything happen? Divine providence. That school you sent me to. It was the only decent sports team they had.’

      ‘Oh, no,’ Howard said, rubbing his head. ‘Not philosophy again.’

      Kristina, her mouth full of carrot cake, told him what the British philosopher Bertrand Russell said once of his lifetime pursuit. ‘As I grew up, I became increasingly interested in philosophy, of which my family profoundly disapproved. Every time the subject came up, they repeated with unfailing regularity, “What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind.” After some fifty or sixty repetitions the remark ceased to amuse me.’

      Steadying his gaze, almost smiling, Howard said, ‘Have I ceased to amuse you?’

      ‘Not yet, Howard,’ she said, smiling.

      They both fell quiet.

      ‘Have time for your major?’

      ‘Two majors. Yeah, I got nothing but time,’ Kristina said. Unlike Jim, who was double-majoring because he was on track for a career and a life, Kristina was double-majoring because she was bored stiff, because she wanted to fill her wandering mind with other people’s meaningful thoughts, so that her own little by little would leave her, would fly and be gone, so that there was not one minute of the day when she had an idle mind or idle hands to do the devil’s handiwork.

      ‘How is Jim?’

      ‘Good. He’s the editor of the Dartmouth Review this year.’

      ‘Ahhh.’ Howard smiled lightly. ‘Does he give you good marks?’

      ‘No,’ she said, mock-petulantly. ‘He’s tougher on me than on anyone. He says the Review is too much hard work. He’s looking forward to graduating.’

      ‘What does he want to do after he graduates?’

      ‘Go to law school.’ She tried to keep the proud edge out of her voice, but failed. ‘He wants to be a Supreme Court Justice.’

      Howard seemed utterly unimpressed. ‘That’s nice. What about you?’

      ‘Me? Grad school.’ That’s all Kristina had been thinking about lately. ‘What else is there to do?’

      Howard smiled. ‘I do not know. Get a job?’

      ‘Howard, please. This is a liberal arts college. What do you think we’re qualified to do? All we are is good readers. We’re not bad on the Mac either, but that’s it.’

      ‘Eventually, you will have to get a job.’

      She snorted. ‘Please. What for? And in what? With my majors, what am I good for?’

      ‘I do not know,’ Howard said slowly. ‘What do other philosophy and religion majors do?’

      ‘They teach, of course,’ Kristina responded happily. ‘They teach philosophy and religion.’

      Howard smiled. Kristina smiled back. She was going to miss him.

      Kristina sensed that Howard wanted to ask her something. His lips pursed and he took on the concentrated look he got whenever he was faced with difficult questions. There were so many difficult questions. Howard usually avoided them, but today he wrestled with himself. In the end, tact won. In the end tact always won. Kristina wanted to surprise Howard just once and answer his unspoken questions, but today there was no point. Grandmother was dead. Howard and she were now officially divorced. And tomorrow was her twenty-first birthday.

      ‘How is, what is his name… Albert?’

      ‘He’s fine,’ Kristina said quickly. ‘They’re all fine.’

      ‘What does he want to do when he graduates?’

      ‘I’m not sure.’ She shrugged, feigning indifference. ‘Says he wants to be a sportswriter.’

      ‘A sportswriter?’

      ‘Yeah, too bad he can’t write.’

      ‘I see.’

      ‘Or a fisherman.’ Kristina shook her head.

      Howard asked slowly, ‘Can he fish?’

      ‘I think so,’ said Kristina, trying to sound jovial.

      ‘He went to an Ivy League school to be a fisherman?’

      ‘A very good fisherman,’ Kristina said, wanting to change the subject.

      Howard was quiet. ‘Are you going to marry Jim?’

      She smiled ruefully. ‘I don’t know if he wants to marry me.’

      ‘Of course he does.’

      Kristina shook her head. ‘No. I don’t think so.’

      Howard was watching her carefully.

      ‘You worry too much,’ said Kristina.

      ‘I worry about you,’ he answered.

      ‘Look at me,’ she said brightly. ‘I’m fine.’

      ‘Yes,’ he said, sounding unconvinced. He stood up. ‘Let’s go.’

      ‘I can’t spend the day with you, Howard,’ Kristina said apologetically.

      ‘I know,’ he said. ‘I am flying out tonight. I have СКАЧАТЬ