Red Leaves. Paullina Simons

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      Clearing her throat, Conni said, ‘Krissy, umm, listen. Was the dog with you?’

      ‘With me when?’ Kristina asked, wanting to roll the window back up.

      ‘Last night.’

      Kristina’s heart was pounding. She is trying to trap me. But what can I say? I don’t even know if she spoke to Albert today. She is definitely trying to corner me into something, but what?

      ‘I don’t know,’ Kristina replied vaguely. ‘Listen, I really gotta -’

      ‘Albert said he walked Aristotle for you last night.’

      Kristina kept her face passive, but inside she was relieved.

      ‘Yes. He came by, and took the dog,’ she told Conni.

      ‘He did?’ she exclaimed. ‘So you saw him?’

      ‘Briefly,’ Kristina replied.

      ‘And then?’

      ‘And then what? Then I locked the door.’

      ‘Why did you do that?’

      ‘Because I wanted to go to sleep, and he was gone a long time.’

      ‘How long?’

      ‘I don’t know, Conni. He never came up to bring the dog back.’ She didn’t know what else to say, and Conni still seemed dissatisfied. So Kristina said, ‘Maybe he’d gone to Frankie’s?’

      ‘That’s what he said he did. But he said he came back and knocked, you just didn’t answer.’

      ‘What time was this? I didn’t hear him,’ said Kristina without missing a beat, but thinking, God, Albert, I wish you had talked to me about this.

      ‘How long was he gone before I came up?’

      ‘I don’t know. Maybe a half hour.’

      This wasn’t the first time Kristina had been interrogated by Conni. She wished it could be the last time, though. Since Edinburgh, Conni had been increasingly suspicious about Kristina and Albert. When Conni and Kristina roomed together in their freshman and part of their sophomore years, Kristina had never fallen under suspicion, but Conni had been sure Albert was seeing someone else.

      Kristina lifted her black eyes to Conni, who was staring at her with the expression of someone who had just swallowed an unbelievable excuse, had bought it, and was now hating herself for it. Feeling very bad, Kristina said, ‘Conn, I thought he was with you. I thought he just took Aristotle down to your room and stayed there.’

      ‘Well, he didn’t,’ Conni said, struggling to keep her voice even.

      Reaching out, Kristina took Conni’s arm. ‘I’m sorry you’re feeling down. It’ll be okay. You know Albert loves you.’

      ‘Do I? Do I know that?’

      ‘Sure you do,’ Kristina said comfortingly. ‘It’s obvious. Every time he looks at you, it’s obvious.’

      Conni stared at her. ‘You’re kidding, right?’

      ‘No, of course I’m not.’ What was she getting at?

      ‘The way he looks at me?’ Conni laughed aloud. ‘You are kidding me. Kristina, have you ever seen the way Albert looks at you?’

      Kristina had. She knew how Albert looked at her. Turning up a blank expression, she said, ‘Conn, I don’t know what you’re -’

      ‘Kristina!’ Conni became agitated. ‘He looks at you, and you at him, like - I don’t know, like you’ve been - I don’t know - friends for life. Like he is about to go the front and die and he’s looking at you for the last time. God, it makes me crazy. Don’t tell me you don’t see it!’

      ‘Conni, I’m sorry, I really don’t.’

      ‘Yeah, Albert says the same thing. “Conn, you’re crazy,” he says. “Conn, it’s probably just hunger.” “Conn, I look at Frankie the same way,” or “Conn, you silly. What about the way I look at you?'”

      Kristina was beginning to feel sick to her stomach. ‘What do you want me to say, Conni?’ she said weakly.

      Conni continued as if not hearing Kristina. ‘I said to him, it’s not that he touches you, because he doesn’t, and it’s not that he says things to you, because he doesn’t, it’s just the way he looks at you. I asked him not to look at you anymore.’ Conni took a deep breath and swiped the hair off her face in a manic gesture. ‘God, this is just so ludicrous.’

      ‘I agree,’ said Kristina quietly. Glancing at the dashboard clock, Kristina got out of the car and went to put her arms around Conni, who didn’t protest but didn’t hug back either.

      ‘Conn, I’m sorry you’re so upset. Come on, girl.’ Kristina’s arm remained around her shoulders.

      ‘Am I crazy, Krissy? Am I just plain nuts?’

      ‘Yes,’ Kristina said, still feeling queasy. ‘Bonkers.’

      ‘Krissy,’ Conni said, ‘once I saw you guys.’

      Kristina missed a beat, maybe two, imagining the worst, before she said, ‘Saw us where?’

      ‘In Baker Library, sitting in the reserve corridor, looking into the same book.’

      ‘When?’

      ‘I don’t know. A few weeks ago.’

      ‘We were studying. Nietzsche, I think.’

      ‘Not one part of your bodies was touching, yet I just felt so bad when I saw the two of you.’

      ‘Conni,’ Kristina said softly, soothingly. ‘We were just studying.’

      ‘Yeah, I know,’ said Conni in a depressed voice. ‘That’s what Albert told me. I mean, look, I know he loves me, I know that, okay? I just can’t help feeling these things sometimes. I’m sorry.’

      Kristina hugged Conni tighter, incredulous. How did I get her to apologize to me?

      Conni’s face brightened slightly, and Kristina felt even worse. I’m not going to lie anymore. That’s my new motto, too. I’m going to right my life and I’m not going to.lie anymore.

      Getting back into the car, Kristina shifted into reverse and said, ‘I gotta go.’

      ‘Go, go,’ said Conni, stepping away from the car. ‘Thanks for talking.’

      ‘Sure,’ said Kristina, hating herself as she drove to Red Leaves House.

      At Red Leaves, Betty her friend and boss, had bought Kristina an ice cream cake. It was the thought that counted, because Kristina’d hated ice cream cakes since childhood.

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