The Heart of the Family. Annie Groves

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СКАЧАТЬ please, don’t make me and the twins go away,’ Jean begged him. ‘We’re safe enough up here, everyone says so. You say you’re worrying about us but how do you think it’s going to be for me, sitting somewhere safe, not knowing what’s going on here with you and Luke and Grace? We can perhaps send the twins somewhere safer, but I want to stay. I’ve got to stay – there’s Katie to think of, and you. Who’s going to make sure there’s a decent meal on the table for you, and what’s our Luke going to think if poor Katie has to find somewhere else? A fine thing that would be.’

      ‘Katie was saying only the other night that she’s owed some leave and that she’d like to go and see her parents. And as for me, I can look after meself if I have to. It won’t be for long.’

      He was lying, thought Jean in despair. It could be for ever if what he was saying was true. It could mean that if she did what he wanted, when she said goodbye to him tomorrow that she might never ever see him again, and he knew that as well as she did. But she also knew what that set determined expression meant. Sam was a good man, a kind, loving man, but he could also be a stubborn, prideful man who was sometimes a bit too set in his ways, traits that Luke had inherited from him.

      There was no point in arguing with him. That would only drive him into sticking to his guns, and besides, he did have a point, at least where the twins were concerned.

      Jean moved closer to him, pretending not to notice when he moved back, indicating that he wasn’t going to let any physical closeness between them change his mind. She put her hand on his arm. There were new lines fanning out from his eyes; he looked tired and determined not to show it, wearied by the nightly bombardment of the city on top of the rigours already imposed on everyone by a war that was ageing them all, including the young. It showed in the stoop of people’s shoulders, and in the anxious frowns that everyone seemed to wear when they thought no one else was looking. Jean had seen it in those poor people who came to the rest centre, and who tried to pull themselves up to their full height and wear a smile when they thought they were being observed. She had seen it too in her own dressing table mirror, but this was the first time she had seen it so plainly in Sam.

      ‘I agree that the twins should go somewhere safer,’ she told him quietly. ‘But I want to stay, Sam. Luke and Grace are here, after all, as well as you, and I couldn’t bear it if anything was to happen and I couldn’t—’ She had to bite down on her words as the awful thought she didn’t want to voice bubbled inside her head.

      ‘Don’t you think I feel the same?’ Sam demanded.

      ‘I’ll be safe enough, Sam. It only takes a minute to get to the shelter.’

      ‘A minute could be a minute too long and besides, there’s been more than one shelter got hit and them inside never got out. You know that. No, Jean, I mean it: you and the children can’t stay in Liverpool.’

      ‘Well, we can’t just leave. Where will we go?’

      ‘I was thinking of your Vi in Wallasey.’

      Jean sucked in her breath. ‘You’re never expecting me to go cap in hand to our Vi and ask her to take me and the twins in, Sam Campion?’

      ‘I’d rather you were somewhere more out in the country, but Wallasey’s a damn sight safer than Liverpool, and your Vi’s honour-bound to take you in, seeing as you’re family.’

      His whole manner said that his mind was made up and that he wasn’t going to change it. Sam hated seeing her cry, but Jean just couldn’t stop herself.

      ‘I never thought I’d see the day when you expected me to go begging to my sister,’ she reproached him. ‘Not after everything you’ve said about her.’

      ‘Can’t you see that it’s you and the twins I’m thinking of, Jean?’ Sam defended himself. ‘How do you think I would feel if anything were to happen to any of you? How would you feel if something happened to the twins? It was bad enough that to-do on Saturday.’

      Jean shuddered. On Saturday night when the twins had gone missing she had been so afraid for them. Sam was right, she would never forgive herself if they ended up being hurt or worse because she had refused to leave Liverpool.

      ‘If I had my way our Grace would be going with you, an’ all,’ Sam told her, breaking into her thoughts.

      ‘She can’t do that, Sam. It would mean her giving up her nursing and she wouldn’t do that, not now she’s in her final year.’

      She reached into her apron pocket for her handkerchief and felt a surge of fresh tears when Sam pushed his own handkerchief into her hands. The first time he had done that they had been courting and she had started crying over a sad film. How she wished that it was only a sad film she had to cry over now.

      ‘Come on, love,’ he begged her gruffly. ‘At least I’ll be able to sleep a bit easier for knowing that you and the twins are safe.’

      Jean sniffed and blew her nose. ‘And what about me, Sam Campion? How am I supposed to sleep easy from now on? What’s going to happen to us, Sam, if Hitler does bomb Liverpool to bits?’

      ‘I don’t know, love. All I know now is that I want you and the twins safe. Come on, we’d better get back.’

      So that she could tell them what was going to happen, he meant, Jean knew.

      She’d been dreading him saying something like this since Saturday night. She’d seen it in his eyes and she’d prayed that the bombing would stop so that they could stay together as a family just as they always had.

      ‘I suppose Dad’s telling Mum that he isn’t going to eat any more luncheon meat.’

      Lou’s weak attempt at a joke barely raised the corners of Sasha’s mouth. Neither of them had stopped watching the back door, which they’d opened ostensibly to let in some fresh evening air but in reality to anticipate the return of their parents, and Katie shared their anxiety.

      ‘What do you suppose—’ Lou began, only to stop when Sasha gave her a nudge in the ribs with her elbow and warned her, ‘Hush, they’re just opening the gate.’

      It was obvious to Katie the minute she saw Jean that she had been crying. Her own heart lurched into her ribs. Was it possible that she had been wrong and there had been bad news? About Luke? Or Grace? Guiltily Katie recognised how much she hoped if one of them had been hurt that it was not Luke.

      Instinctively adopting Jean’s own normal manner Katie asked calmly, ‘Shall I put the kettle on?’ and received a grateful look from Sam.

      ‘Aye, lass, if you wouldn’t mind.’

      He turned to the twins. ‘Your mother’s got something to tell you.’

      Jean bowed her head, waiting for Sam to announce that he was going back to the allotment, but to her surprise he was obviously intending to stay. To support her or to make sure she did what he wanted?

      Behind her Katie was waiting for the kettle to boil. Dear Katie, such a lovely girl and so perfect for Luke. Jean worried about her safety as much as if she were one of her own. Hitler was dropping bombs on London, of course, but Katie had already said that it was much safer where her parents were living. If she went to them she’d be safe, and it would only be for a little while. Until the bombing stopped. Until Liverpool had been destroyed.

      Jean took a deep СКАЧАТЬ