Only When I Larf. Len Deighton

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СКАЧАТЬ of a penthouse on the top floor. I thought the top floor was a radio station.’

      ‘We bought that in ’48,’ said Silas. ‘They were using too much space up there, so we spent a little money on the conversion. Now the penthouses have the same entrance hall as the radio station reception.’ Silas placed a finger along his nose. ‘And, as you say, there is no sign. Discreet eh? You chaps must use it sometime. Perhaps a party next week? My Vice President in charge of entertainment has some remarkable resources,’ he paused, ‘or perhaps I’m just a little old fashioned.’

      I could see Silas was getting carried away so I went next door and buzzed him on the intercom.

      ‘It’s Mr Glover Junior, Sir Stephen, he’s flown in from Nassau on the company plane. He says it’s urgent.’

      ‘Get him,’ said Silas.

      Bob was waiting outside. Silas’s vicuna overcoat was a little too large for him, but he wore it draped around his shoulders. He was shaved and his hair neatly parted, I’d pressed his suit to perfection and with his gold cufflinks and quiet tie he looked tough and adult and rather dishy. I hadn’t noticed that before.

      ‘Don’t try the stutter,’ I warned. ‘You know what happens; you forget to do it halfway through.’

      ‘Out of my way, princess,’ said Bob, and gave me a familiar nudge. One day Silas would catch him doing that and say that I’ve encouraged it. I’ve never encouraged it. There’s only one man in my life; Silas. I have to have the best, but Bob was rather dishy.

      He opened the office door with a crash.

      ‘Yes?’ said Silas, not simulating his irritation.

      ‘Mr G …’ Bob began, overplaying his stutter very considerably. ‘Graham King sent me.’ Bob finished. Silas nodded, ‘This is Otis Glover, from the Nassau office,’ he said to the marks. ‘What is it?’ he said to Bob.

      ‘Mr King is worried about the nomin …’

      ‘Nominees,’ supplied Silas.

      Bob nodded. ‘No need to worry about them,’ said Silas beaming with goodwill. ‘Here they are,’ he made an extravagant gesture toward the marks as though he had just manufactured them.

      ‘King is worried about them,’ said Bob. ‘He says that we don’t know them.’

      ‘We?’

      ‘Amalgamated Minerals B … Bahamas Ltd.’ said Bob. He was overdoing the stutter.

      Silas introduced the marks to Bob. I find it difficult to remember them. There were so many faces that they become one composite face; credulous, boggle eyed, greedy. Silas always remembered them. Every little detail; their native towns and companies they owned, their ailments, cars and fetishes, and even their wife’s and kids’ first names.

      ‘Now you do know them,’ said Silas. ‘So that problem is disposed of.’

      ‘N … n … n … no sir,’ said Bob. ‘We’ll need more than that if they are going to be allowed to bid with two million dollars of Corporation money.’

      Silas took off his half-frame glasses and motioned Bob into a chair. ‘Look Glover, these gentlemen will be with you on the company jet this afternoon …’

      Bob interrupted him, ‘But I’ve been sent here to say that if the nominees invest on their own behalf there must be certain conditions.’

      ‘Conditions?’ said Silas. ‘These gentlemen are friends of mine. They must be allowed something for their trouble.’

      ‘They are getting something,’ said Bob. ‘The villa in Rock Sound is being prepared …’

      ‘Rock Sound is beautiful,’ said Silas to the marks, ‘that’s the finest of all the V.I.P. villas. Fishing, swimming, sun bathing; my word, how I envy you.’

      Bob continued doggedly, ‘The yacht is under sailing orders and the servants have been told to prepare for two couples.’

      ‘But there’s only two of us,’ interrupted Johnny.

      ‘The night is young,’ said Silas. ‘This evening there’ll be a party in your honour, music, dancing, fine food, drink and with lots of beautiful girls.’

      ‘Oh,’ said the mark, and stole a self-conscious glance at me. I didn’t react.

      Bob said, ‘All they have to do is to sign a couple of papers and pin our cheque to them. These nominee bids are very simple. We usually use one of our Bay Street friends.’

      ‘That’s for you to decide when it’s a local deal, but when New York is involved, then I choose the nominees,’ said Silas.

      ‘I’m just a messenger,’ said Bob. ‘Mr Graham King will be telexing you about it.’

      ‘Miss Grimdyke. Go and see if there’s anything on the telex from Nassau.’

      I went and collected the fake message that I had typed with the machine set at local. When I brought it back Silas and Bob had finished the small quarrel that they had rehearsed. I looked around at them, pretending not to comprehend the strained silence. Silas grabbed the telex from me.

      AMALGAMATED MINERALS NYC

      AMALGAMIN NASSAU BAHAMAS

      TO SIR STEPHEN LATIMER

      FROM GRAHAM KING

      MY FELLOW DIRECTORS ALL OPPOSE ANY PLAN TO USE OUTSIDE MONEY BUT I WILL AGREE IN SPITE OF THAT IF YOU WILL CONFIRM THAT YOUR ACCOUNT ALREADY HOLDS THE NOMINEES PARTICIPATION STOP GLOVER IS ON THE COMPANY JET AND WILL BE WITH YOU AT ANY MOMENT STOP VILLAS READY ARE WE TO ARRANGE SUPER FACIL PARTY TONIGHT? I WILL STAY NEAR THIS TELEPRINTER IF THERE IS ANY DIFFICULTY GLOVER WILL SPEAK ON MY BEHALF.

      GRAHAM + + +

      AMALGAMATED MINERALS NYC

      Silas let the wire drift from his hands into those of the marks. Bob pretended to search for cigarettes and dropped a copy of a Nassau morning newspaper on the desk.

      ‘What I don’t understand,’ said Bob. ‘Is why we need outside money at all. Why can’t our stockholders supply the money? After all, the report said that we could expect a 78 per cent return on the investment.’

      ‘Ha, ha, ha,’ said Silas. The marks laughed too, although they seemed just as keen as Bob to hear the answer. Johnny, the short mark, took the Nassau newspaper and put it into his pocket.

      ‘A simple question, from a simple mind,’ said Silas. ‘So I’ll try to make it a simple answer.’

      Johnny laughed again, but softly, so as not to miss the reply. Silas said, ‘I appreciate your loyalty to the company Glover, to say nothing of your loyalty to the shareholders, but the story leaking out would tip our hand about the new harbour site immediately. Why, I’ve never even sent a memo to our Vice-Presidents. Yesterday, you had never heard of it Glover, am I right?’

      ‘Y … y … y … y … you’re right.’

      ‘This СКАЧАТЬ