Mums Just Wanna Have Fun. Lucie Wheeler

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СКАЧАТЬ Jack for the past year.

      ‘What do you want, Pete?’

      ‘Aren’t you going to invite me in?’ He brushed his hand through his dark brown hair, which had grown longer over the past year than she had ever seen it, and leaned on the doorframe, seemingly trying to look more relaxed than he was feeling.

      ‘Can’t say that I particularly want to,’ she said, but then caught sight of her neighbour in her front garden pretending to be doing some weeding when really she was ear wigging. ‘You’ve got ten minutes.’

      The atmosphere between the two of them was tense and things only worsened when Pete walked into the kitchen and was faced with Harriet.

      ‘What in God’s name are you doing here?’ she scowled, putting her hands onto her hips and frowning at him.

      ‘Nice to see you too, Harriet.’ Pete forced a strained smile across his face.

      ‘I didn’t say it was nice to see you. In fact, I feel quite the opposite.’

      ‘Hari, it’s fine.’ Nancy manoeuvred around her friend and placed a brief hand onto her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze as she grabbed her cup off the side.

      ‘It’s bloody well not fine. He thinks he can just walk out on you and Jack and disappear for months on end, ignoring your calls and then swan up on your doorstep like nothing’s happened? I don’t bloody think so.’ She glared at him.

      ‘Last time I checked, this wasn’t your house or your business, Harriet!’

      Harriet marched towards Pete at speed and Nancy quickly put her mug down and stepped into Harriet’s path just as she reached him. ‘And last time I checked, Pete,’ she spat his name viciously, ‘you don’t just abandon your wife and your child the second shit gets hard in life.’

      ‘OK, OK, enough you two.’ Nancy placed her hand onto Harriet’s shoulder. ‘Let me talk to him and see what the deal is. I’ll call you later and we can talk about the holiday, OK?’

      ‘Nance, don’t let him wheedle his way—’

      ‘Hari, I’m fine … honestly.’

      Harriet glared at Pete before grabbing her bag and walking out of the kitchen towards the front door.

      ‘And as for you,’ Nancy pointed at Pete, her expression dropping into a serious tone, ‘don’t you dare think for one second that it is OK to walk into my house and be rude to my friends.’

      ‘Nancy, this was our house.’

      ‘Exactly, Pete, this was our house – and then you left.’

      They both stood for a second staring at each other and then as her words sank in, Pete admitted defeat and nodded.

      Ten minutes later, Nancy had made Pete a coffee and refreshed her own mug and the pair were seated at the table clasping their mugs, neither one making moves to speak. Eventually, Nancy said, ‘So are you going to tell me why you’ve suddenly turned up here after a year of silence or am I supposed to just ignore that part?’ Her anxious heartbeat had still not recovered from the moment she’d opened the door to him.

      He exhaled but didn’t shift his glance from the mug of brown liquid in front of him. ‘It’s complicated.’

      ‘Too damn right, it’s complicated, Pete, because I’m struggling to understand why you would leave us. I tried my best to make everything work, even when things got really tough with Jack but clearly it wasn’t good enough – maybe I wasn’t good enough.’ She looked down at her hands as she spoke, saying the words that she had been thinking for months now.

      This time he looked up, sadness etched on his face. ‘Nancy, no! It wasn’t you – you were the best wife.’

      ‘I can’t have been that good otherwise you wouldn’t have left. No matter how hard life gets, when you have someone you love by your side, you get through it. But you just left. I obviously didn’t do a very good job at being a supportive wife.’

      This time he didn’t respond, instead choosing to drop his gaze back down into the mug. Nancy didn’t probe any further because she didn’t want to hear that she was right – even though she knew she was. After a minute, he spoke again. It was barely audible but was still loud enough for Nancy to hear perfectly. ‘It was too hard.’

      ‘Life is hard.’ She felt her exterior harden slightly. The ‘it’s hard’ line wasn’t going to wash with her. She was too far into protection mode now, especially as she’d had to deal with the last year on her own.

      ‘It’s easy for you.’

      ‘How is it easy for me? He’s my son too, I feel how hard it is too, you know!’

      ‘Yes but you know how to deal with him – with it.’

      ‘You’re talking about him like he has a disease – he’s not sick, he’s autistic!’ Rage was beginning to boil in her chest. She was sick to death of people treating Jack like there was something wrong with him, like he didn’t belong on this planet and should be hidden away.

      Pete flinched noticeably when Nancy said autistic and this made her even angrier.

      ‘What is it you’re even here for Pete? Because it clearly isn’t to apologise.’

      ‘I am sorry, of course I am. Do you really think that I wanted to leave? That under normal circumstances I would have chosen to leave my wife and son?’

      ‘So, why did you?? What was so bad that you felt the only way to deal with this was to leave? That you didn’t have any other option in this whole world other than to walk out and leave your son without his daddy and your wife without her husband?’

      His head was facing the table in shame but his feeling sorry for himself stance only fuelled her anger. ‘I had to deal with months and months of him asking me where his daddy was. Do you know what that was like? Do you even have the capacity to understand how heartbreakingly painful it was to watch him have meltdown after meltdown because Mummy couldn’t tell him where Daddy was?’ He was still looking at the table. ‘I have had to not only be Mummy, but Daddy too. I am trying to work to support us because you weren’t answering my calls. But then when Jack has a bad day at school and I have to go and pick him up, I can’t work. But do I have that choice? No! And when Jack has a bad night and won’t sleep – because he still doesn’t sleep, you know, in case you’re wondering – I still have to work having had an hour’s sleep and having been punched and slapped and kicked all over because he is anxious but can’t tell me why.’

      Pete shook his head in despair.

      ‘Or when I have to have a cereal bar for dinner because there’s only enough pasta for Jack but a trip to the shop is out of the question because I haven’t pre-warned him and the sudden change in routine would warrant another meltdown. Do you know how hard it is to be a single parent, let alone a single parent to a child who is struggling like Jack?’ She waited, watching his pathetic response as he shrugged. ‘DO YOU?’ His head snapped up in surprise.

      ‘Sweetheart, come on, don’t shout.’

      ‘What СКАЧАТЬ