The Tudor Princess. Darcey Bonnette

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СКАЧАТЬ allowing me to have as many new gowns as I desired. I loved to order costumes for masques. Anything I wanted was brought to me; I lacked nothing. I needed nothing. And yet there was this loneliness, profound and persistent even through the lavish entertainments I hosted for my new friends and family. Scotland was littered with Stewarts and I tried to learn every name. They fussed over me, calling me a pretty thing, but no one demonstrated a genuine love of me yet. Jamie said that was nonsense, everyone loved me. It would be impossible not to. Though I believed this should be the way of it, it remained untrue nonetheless. I felt it. I was tolerated because I was securing peace with their long-time enemy.

      There were some I had grown fond of, however, though I could not say they were close to me. The poet William Dunbar, who composed many a verse praising my beauty or simply to entertain, served as a worthy companion and courtier and was always quick to bring a smile to my face. Another was the privateer Sir Robert Barton, a straightforward man with a rather captivating gift for storytelling, and I was always thrilled to be regaled with his adventures on the high seas, and, even better, by the many exotic gifts bestowed upon me as tribute.

      None of the women impressed me much, however. Though I conversed and danced with my ladies, I could call none of them friend, not really. My dearest friend was my husband and I spent as much time enjoying him as I did being jealous of him, jealous of his experience, of his age, of those who admired him with as much conviction as I.

      I had even grown jealous of God, for Jamie spent a great deal of time with Him, going on pilgrimages to the shrines of Saint Niniane and Saint Duthlac. I hated when Jamie left me and was not shy about making him aware of my displeasure.

      ‘Going to have another conversation with God?’ I snapped one morning as he readied himself for his departure in our chambers at my least favourite castle of Edinburgh.

      Jamie strode toward me to cup my cheek. ‘I regret you canna understand my … need to be near Him at times.’

      ‘Oh, I understand,’ I said. ‘Tell me – the technicalities confuse me – do your mistresses accompany you to the shrine or do you visit them after? Or do you all sort of worship together at the altar – or on the altar as the case may be?’

      ‘Maggie!’

      ‘Dinna let me keep you! Go off to your Saint Niniane and leave me here, here in this cold, solitary place and me so lonely I could scream! And you dinna even care about me at all!’ I cried.

      Jamie took me in his arms, holding me fast. ‘Never say such things, Maggie, you know it is untrue,’ he urged.

      ‘Not at all – not at all!’ I reiterated, enjoying the effect of my words on my husband and pulling away, folding my arms across my blossoming breasts. At least something was happening there. I wished the process could be sped along so I would be too irresistible to abandon for a shrine and whatever else he might be devoting himself to.

      ‘Please do not go,’ I pleaded in soft tones, my anger fading to misery as my arms dropped to my sides.

      ‘I must, little one, but only for a short time,’ he told me, taking me in his arms and kissing the top of my head. ‘When I get back we shall go on progress, how about that? To Falkland Palace, our favourite. Would you like that?’

      I nodded at the thought of the vast, sprawling deer park and lush forest.

      ‘And we’ll hunt together,’ he went on. ‘We shall make quite a merry sport of it, a contest. I trust you will practice your archery while I am gone so that you might hit all your marks. Perhaps you shall kill more stags than I!’

      He disarmed me. Already I was thinking of the gowns and jewels I would pack for the journey.

      ‘We shall pass a merry spring there,’ he said. ‘You must plan a grand banquet – would you like to attend to all the special details, to make certain you have everything just as you wish it?’

      I offered a nod of eagerness. ‘Oh, yes! English John and Scotch Dog shall help me. And Dunbar shall amuse us with witty verse!’ I cried with delight, enthused about my task.

      ‘My sweet little girl,’ Jamie said, kissing my cheeks and touching the tip of my nose with his forefinger. ‘Plan a wonderful entertainment then and I will come home to you soon.’

      ‘Yes, you always come home to me,’ I remarked with a confident smile.

      ‘Always.’ And with this Jamie departed. I sat on my bed, bowing my head.

      No doubt he visited his children as well on these trips.

      I rose, squaring my shoulders. It was no matter. I remained above bastards and would not reduce myself to thinking of them. When our child was born they would be forgotten.

      ‘Scotch, I want your best dressmakers to fashion me a gown,’ I informed my wardrobe keeper, James Doig, utilising his pet name.

      He was all smiles at the prospect. ‘What kind of gown would Your Grace be needing?’ he asked in his thick burr.

      I clasped my hands together as I stood before the mirror in my privy chamber at Edinburgh. ‘A riding habit – but not an ordinary riding habit. This particular habit must be as enchanting as a ball gown but as seductive as a shift.’ To my delight his eyes widened at this shocking revelation.

      He stood behind me. In the mirror I noted his eyes slowly travelling from my slippers to my hood. There was no lechery in them. He was assessing his project. ‘I think I know just the thing,’ he said in decisive tones. ‘Might I be permitted to surprise Your Grace?’

      I broke into a smile. ‘Of course,’ I agreed, turning about to take his hands in mine. ‘Make it a good one, Scotch – the Stewart line is depending on it!’

      Scotch’s lips twitched a moment before he yielded to a burst of laughter. It rang in my ears like the tinkling of chimes. His blue eyes sparkled bright with mirth against his rosy complexion as he squeezed my hands. ‘Be assured, Your Grace, that this will be the finest habit you will ever lay eyes upon!’

      He bowed over our joined hands, then made his retreat.

      I smiled to myself. My first step in seducing my husband the king had been put into action.

      There were to be no entertainments at Falkland Palace. I had not planned one, not a single one, for while we were there I wanted no distractions. Jamie would be shared with no one, not even his own courtiers.

      The castle was sweetened and scrubbed. I made certain Jamie’s favourite organ was brought so that he might play at his leisure. Twenty-three carts of gowns, jewels, and other supplies necessary for diversion were brought on our progress and when everything was unpacked I waited for Jamie to come to me.

      I planned a hunt. Together we would ride through the thick forest that surrounded the palace; the sweet spring air would fill our lungs until we were rendered breathless. The clomping of the horses’ hooves would pound against the forest floor, mirroring the blood pounding in our ears. Our bodies would thrill with the stretch of the bowstrings as we drew them back to hit our mark, the regal stag. Oh, the hunt!

      Jamie arrived to find me and a handful of courtiers waiting. As usual he removed his cap and played the chivalrous knight, ever solicitous, ever caring. I did not offer any challenges about his previous whereabouts but celebrated his presence, reminding myself that he may love a hundred common women but only one queen.

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