The Good Liar. Laura Caldwell

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СКАЧАТЬ with friends who I suspect might say something unkind about me.”

      Tomaso led us to a table near the center of the room and pulled out a chair for me. “Champagne to start?” he said.

      Michael looked at me. I nodded.

      Michael and I began with champagne and moved to Chianti. After the glass of Merlot we’d already had at home, I immediately caught a wine buzz. I enjoyed the slight fuzziness of my brain and the electric stars over my head. Michael told me how he’d met Tomaso in Italy when he was still working in the pharmaceutical business.

      “That’s how you met Liza, too, isn’t it?” I asked.

      Michael nodded, pouring me more Chianti. “Liza is an exceptional young woman.”

      I chuckled. “She’s not so young anymore. Neither of us is.”

      “Well, you’re both young to me.”

      There was a moment of silence. This was the first time we’d acknowledged our age disparity.

      “I’m sorry,” Michael said. “Is that not appropriate first-date banter? I have no idea anymore.” He gave me a shy smile that melted me.

      I laughed. “I can’t remember either.”

       “Vive la différence?”

      “I’ll toast to that.” When I thought about it, I really didn’t mind being younger than Michael. In fact, I was enjoying it. He’d already introduced me to a new person and a new place, all within the span of half a date. And I could tell that Michael was filled with such people and places—he had an air of worldly experience that appealed immensely.

      “So, you and Liza have known each other since you were kids?” Michael asked.

      “Seventh grade.”

      “You two must have made quite the pair.”

      “Yes, hormones and the power of a new best friend will make you do just about anything when you’re thirteen.” I told Michael of the time I’d dyed Liza’s normally auburn hair jet-black because she wanted to try out for the role of Velma in the school’s production of Chicago, and the time we stole her brother’s bike and accidentally rode it into a pond.

      “Her brother, Colby,” Michael said. “He’s no longer around, right?”

      I shook my head. “Colby died when Liza and I were seniors in high school. Car accident. Drunk driving on the part of the other guy. I’ve always hated that, aside from the obvious reasons, because it seems almost a clichéd way to die, and Colby was so special.”

      I thought of Liza’s older brother—a tall, big guy. He’d shared Liza’s smattering of freckles, but his hair had been a darker auburn, and he had a crooked way of smiling, one side up. His eyes were devious and fun. We both adored him, looked up to him. He was a few years older than us, while all my own brothers were much older and long gone from the house.

      After Colby died, something crumpled in Liza. I didn’t know how to help her, and this failing of mine was one of the reasons I grabbed the opportunity to participate in an exchange program in France for six months. I left Liza alone, hoping that when I came back she might be better and we could return to the way we’d been for years. It was a coward’s way out, and I still feel guilty about it, particularly when Liza was the one who got me through my divorce. But we had been young when Colby died, and my time away seemed to have worked. Liza was never exactly the same—how could she be?—yet by the time I returned, she had lost the sad tinge to her eyes and the slow way of moving.

      I took a sip of Chianti and looked at Michael. He was studying me, almost the way Tomaso might if he was trying to read my lips.

      “ You’re special, Kate,” he said.

      I opened my mouth to protest, to say I certainly hadn’t felt special for a very long time. But I stopped, because I realized that something had shifted over the last week since I’d met Michael. Instead of protesting, instead of telling this man that there was nothing unique about me at all, I smiled.

      “Thank you,” I said. And then before I could think twice, I leaned across the table and kissed him.

       5

       Moscow, Russia

       T he day after his date with Kate, Michael Waller entered the passport control area of the Sheremetyevo airport. He reached into his carry-on bag and removed a Russian passport, then he got in the line marked for Russian citizens. It was only minutely shorter than the massive, slow-moving line for foreigners. Some things about Russia would never change.

      Michael lifted and dropped his shoulders to release the muscle tension and rolled his neck to try to shake away the headache he felt coming. He simply wasn’t the traveler he used to be. Rarely had he noticed his age all these years crisscrossing continents, but now he felt all of his fifty-five years.

      He thought then of Kate. God, how unlikely that he should be thinking of her. That he should be thinking of any woman. He’d learned from his divorce that his life did not lend itself to marriage. While secrecy was everything in his business, he simply couldn’t stomach it in a romantic relationship. It made everything feel false, even the parts that were true. And yet now he’d found himself here, easing out of his business. He was pulling away, forcing the Trust to make him one of the outsiders, one of the support staff.

      This mission to Russia would hopefully be his last. Thank God. Because age made it harder to stomach the missions, too. Or maybe it wasn’t age. Maybe it was the Trust’s recent descent toward the ruthless and the careless. That wasn’t how they used to operate. Luckily—if you could call it that—his mission in Moscow was absolutely necessary for the good of the organization, and most importantly for the good of the United States. And so he would do his job, no matter how distasteful, and then he would go home, and he would try to start living a more normal existence. And he would call Kate. Because if he was no longer playing the same role he used to, there might be room in his life for a partner. And he might have found her.

      He moved forward in the line. He would be next to give his documentation to the agent. A flicker of anxiety hit him—a slight increase of his pulse, a knotty feeling in his stomach. Even though the Soviet Union had died and the cold war was over, Michael still felt nervous every time he arrived in Russia. The truth was, “Michael Waller” would have serious problems getting through the passport check. The U.S. government had placed restrictions on his passport for travel into any country once considered communist because he had, technically, worked for the CIA in the past. His presence in a post-communist country might be taken as an act of espionage. But Michael wasn’t “Michael Waller” today.

      He took a full breath into the lower lobes of his lungs. He forced his pulse to slow. His anxiety calmed quicker than usual. He wondered if the speedy calm was because he’d done this so many damn times. Then another possibility came to him. Maybe it was because of Kate. She made him feel younger, and somehow cleansed of the sins he’d committed, although she knew nothing about those sins, nor would she ever. That thought stalled him for a moment—no matter how present he was now with Kate, no matter what the future held, she could never know his past. Michael felt a wave of sadness, but he let that emotion evaporate from his body. He focused instead on how Kate made him feel—virile and youthful, yes, but more than anything optimistic, actually looking forward СКАЧАТЬ