Four Weddings and a Fiasco. Catherine Ferguson

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      Expensive.

      He’s obviously one of those amateurs who thinks buying the best equipment will make him an expert in no time.

      I take a few more shots of them signing the register, then walk to the back of the room in order to take the all-important shots of Ron and Andrea walking back down the aisle together.

      Mallory sidles up and says, ‘What’s up?’

      My frown deepens. ‘Him.’

      She grins. ‘But all he’s done is take a few photographs. In common with about ninety-nine per cent of the other guests in the room.’

      ‘Yes, but how come he gets the shot I wanted?’ I snap. ‘I hate bloody amateur photographers at weddings!’

      She gives me a puzzled look and I know what she’s thinking. Normally I’m fairly gracious and understanding of happy snappers at weddings. It’s just most of them don’t rub me up the wrong way like Runner Man.

      I move to the centre of the aisle, ready for the perfect shot. And Runner Man finally stops flirting with the manager, making her giggle like a silly schoolgirl, and goes back to his seat.

      Who is he anyway? Probably a friend of Ron’s. This often happens. The bride and groom start to worry the professional photographer might cock it up, so they appoint a friend or relative to take back-up photos. Just in case.

      Andrea and Ron are walking happily back down the aisle towards me.

      And then – oh, here we go! – Runner Man is back on his feet, snapping away, totally blocking my view.

      Probably sensing my daggers look, he turns a brief apologetic glance my way. And I might have forgiven him had it not been for The Hand

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