Him. Cecilia Scott

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       5

       Best friends and abandoned cats …

       To love is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.

      Emily Dickinson

      This is what I understood: I’d been unhappy for a very long time. I lived such a sheltered life and I had little curiosity. I lived vicariously through the books I read. I identified with the Bronte sisters and Emily Dickinson. I lived away from society. I was lost. I had travelled down an abandoned road.

      * * *

      I called in sick the following morning. Then I phoned Rebecca and asked her to meet me for lunch at our favourite café.

      The place was bristling with activity, and the outdoor tables were mostly filled. I found an empty table in the back near the bookstore. The bougainvillea was bountiful. I could hear the mumbled sound of other people’s conversations. Eventually, a very pregnant Rebecca walked towards me. She too was in full bloom, now close to her due date.

      I envied her. She was happy. Pure and simple.

      She bent over me and kissed me on the forehead. I in turn kissed her pregnant belly. We were beaming. She sat down.

      We picked up our menus, decided on salad, and the waitress took our order. Then Rebecca looked at me with an odd smile on her face.

      Old friends can always tell. Or at least she could.

      ‘Who is he?’ she asked.

      ‘Who is who?’

      ‘Come on. You have that freshly fucked look on your face. Your movements are so languid. It can only mean one thing. Who is he?’

      I didn’t know if I wanted to tell her anything. I was afraid I would jinx everything. He was my secret. Sure, Sam had seen HIM come and go from the duplex but I hadn’t said anything to anyone.

      What was there to say anyway? That I was having the most intense sexual experience of my life with a man I barely knew?

      I felt exposed.

      I told her the basics – how handsome he was, his accomplishments. But I stopped after that and asked her about her pregnancy. When she spoke, I pretended to listen.

      I could only think about HIM. I hadn’t bathed after he left, wanting to retain his scent and the feel of HIM against my body for as long as possible. I could still feel his come inside me. I am sure my mouth must have seemed bruised from so much kissing and I had a string of love bites across my breasts. Every part of my body felt swollen, so loved, so attended to.

      My best friend continued to talk. We sat together for a long time.

      * * *

      When I arrived home I saw a white cat with long hair and blue eyes sitting on the stoop and staring at me.

      I picked it up and held it. The cat began to purr. I knocked on Sam’s door. When he opened it, he laughed heartily. ‘Oh, my, what do we have here?’

      I handed him the cat. ‘Boy or girl?’

      He turned it upside down. ‘It’s a girl.’ He paused and said, ‘I think.’

      We walked into Sam’s duplex. He handed the cat back to me as I sat on the couch.

      ‘No collar, huh?’

      I shook my head. ‘No. Nothing.’

      ‘She’s a pretty one.’

      ‘Yes.’

      ‘She’s deaf.’

      ‘Why do you say that?’

      ‘Most white-haired female cats with blue eyes are deaf.’

      ‘Wow. What an interesting piece of information to have stored in your head. Prove it.’

      He went back into his kitchen and brought out several pots and pans. He banged them together. The cat didn’t flinch.

      ‘You’re right,’ I said. ‘She didn’t hear it. But I did. Ouch.’

      ‘I was pretty sure I was right,’ he said. ‘So what are you going to do with her?’

      ‘Hmm. I didn’t think parenthood would happen like this,’ I said. ‘I guess I’ll put some signs up and then, if no one responds, I’ll keep her.’

      ‘What are you going to call her?’

      I thought for a moment. ‘Esme.’

      ‘Interesting name.’

      ‘She was a character in a Salinger short story. Esme was a teenage girl who touched the heart of a weary soldier with her kindness.’

      ‘Nice story. Kinda like you and me, huh?’

      ‘Sure. Wanna go with me to the store to pick up some supplies for her?’ I asked.

      ‘Sure.’

      ‘Let me put her inside my apartment and get my purse, then we can go. Or do you mind if she stays in your apartment till we get back?’

      ‘That’s fine.’

      * * *

      We drove to a pet store. Sam and I entered it with anticipation. I found a shopping cart and we strolled down the aisles. We bought Esme everything: a litter box, litter, dry and canned catfood and enough toys to keep her occupied for a long time. When we arrived at the aisle with the collars, we both immediately gravitated to the blue one. ‘It will match her eyes,’ I said. He nodded.

      ‘It feels like Christmas, doesn’t it?’ Sam asked.

      One of the clerks showed us how to make a nametag with her name and my phone number on it. ‘Guess this cements the deal,’ I told Sam. ‘I mean, what if her owner shows up? I do plan on putting up signs.’

      ‘It’ll СКАЧАТЬ