Mhairi McFarlane 3-Book Collection: You Had Me at Hello, Here’s Looking at You and It’s Not Me, It’s You. Mhairi McFarlane

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       18

      Ben nominated a fashionable bar in the city centre that I haven’t got round to visiting yet, rather giving lie to the idea that I can show him where to go out. It’s all poured, polished concrete surfaces, with dramatic under-lighting, tropical flower displays and chairs that are so low-slung you end up talking to a collection of windpipes and kneecaps.

      As we enter I see Ben at a table in the far corner, chatting to a tall, blond-haired, mid-thirties man whose expansive body language implies that all the world’s a chat show and he’s the host. The would-be Michael Parkinson gives us both a languid up-and-down full airport body scan as we reach their table.

      ‘Hi … Ben, you remember Caroline?’ I say.

      ‘Of course,’ Ben smiles. ‘How are you? Simon, this is Rachel, who works for the paper.’

      Ben stands up, still in his work clothes, an artfully rumpled (as opposed to the crushed it’d be on a lesser mortal) cornflower blue shirt and dark navy suit trousers, jacket with bright lining slung over seat next to him. Part of me, the part of me that Caroline rightly points out has failed to notice a decade has elapsed, wants to whoop with excitement and throw my arms around him. It’s you! It’s me! I know I have to stop. This is nothing. This is a drink with an old face from university days. He leans in to peck Caroline on the cheek and naturally she goes gooey. Ben and I nod in acknowledgement towards each other, communicating that we did the kissing thing the other day and neither of us fancy a repeat.

      Simon unpacks his collection of rangy limbs and rises to his feet also.

      ‘Delighted. What’re you having, ladies?’

      ‘Uh, no, it’s OK, I’ll go, what are you drinking?’ I say, realising as I do that resistance is futile: alpha male Simon’s never going to allow it. I am far more used to beery betas.

      ‘No. What are you having?’ he repeats, firmly.

      ‘Vodka tonic,’ Caroline says to Simon, sweetly undermining me.

      He turns expectantly.

      ‘G&T? Thanks.’

      ‘How are you, Ben? Rachel says you’re married, and a solicitor?’ Caroline asks.

      ‘Yeah, family. My wife’s in litigation.’

      ‘You studied English at uni, didn’t you?’ Caroline asks.

      ‘Yep. I did the wrong degree,’ Ben says, bluntly. ‘Good for almost nothing.’

      This hurts. Not because I have huge pride about my qualifications. More that we wouldn’t have spent three years in each other’s company if he hadn’t done that degree.

      ‘Good for nothing if learning has to be vocational,’ I say, prissily.

      ‘Yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean good for nothing, obviously – you’ve done really well,’ Ben says, remembering himself, and I can see he’s surprised at his own lapse in tact. ‘I was skint after graduating that’s all, and I was only qualified to study more. Can’t even teach English abroad without a TEFL. And I’m not cut out for journalism like Rachel. I could never buckle down and hit deadlines the way she could.’

      I know he’s trying to repair the ‘good for nothing’ damage and, while I appreciate it, I still feel a little wounded. I feel his eyes on me and pretend to be fussing with putting my coat on my chair to avoid his gaze.

      Simon returns with two chunky lowball glasses full of ice. ‘Lemon in the vodka … lime in the G&T.’

      ‘Thanks,’ we twitter in unison.

      He gets a round in without getting another for himself? I’ll have to tell Rhys these men do exist. He’d probably recommend Simon donate his brain to medical science. Immediately.