Leading With NLP: Essential Leadership Skills for Influencing and Managing People. Joseph O’Connor

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СКАЧАТЬ Eloise had written a book called A Soprano on her Head¹ which I admired very much. She had a unorthodox approach to teaching music, in which she used all sorts of ways to interrupt performers’ stuck patterns. The title of the book came from the way she cured a singer of stage fright. She asked this singer (who was tongue tied in her presence and could hardly croak a note) to stand on her head and then sing. Ridiculous! And yet it worked. You might say it gave her a whole new perspective on singing. It was certainly the beginning of the resumption of her interrupted singing career.

      I remember coming back from that workshop thinking, ‘I can write a book too.’ The fact that I had not written anything beyond school essays at that time didn’t seem to matter. A year later the manuscript was finished and it started me on a journey as a writer. The call is when you suddenly recognize you want to change.

      One of my friends told me his turning point. He was with a textile firm, in name a manager but in reality a glorified clerk. His boss seemed to know less and work less than he did, and he referred to his in-tray as ‘Hell’ because it seemed to be a bottomless pit of torture and was always full. His out-tray was ‘the ocean’ because it was impossible to empty. Quite appropriately, the depth of Hell was how the boss decided what sort of worker you were. One Wednesday morning, after a longer than usual drive to work through the rush-hour traffic, a client blamed my friend loudly and publicly for something he knew nothing about. ‘That’s it!’ he shouted as he slammed the telephone down. ‘I’m leaving!’ And he did, after tipping the contents of his in-tray on his manager’s desk. He started his own business, where he earns less than he did before, but he is immeasurably happier, joining the ranks of the self-employed who have a tolerant and sometimes indulgent employer. He refers to that Wednesday as ‘the day that all Hell broke loose’.

      It can be a chance remark from a friend can set you searching, or a new project at work, a manager who becomes a mentor, moving house, starting a romantic relationship, becoming a parent. In the popular rendition of chaos theory, a butterfly flapping its wings in Beijing can conceivably cause a hurricane in Texas, such is the complexity, interconnectedness and unpredictability of the world’s weather system. (If it worked the other way round, that would be the real miracle.) Our social relationships are at least as complex as the weather, so I have no trouble believing that a few words from someone in the right place at the right time can totally change your life.

      

      You are called – to what? Let us look at this enigmatic quality ‘leadership’ more closely. The word deceives us in its simplicity. It does not mean the same for everyone. Ideas about leadership and what constitutes a good leader have changed throughout history. They also differ from culture to culture. For example, the American individualistic and challenging style of leadership is very different from the Japanese style of leadership. A good leader in Japan seeks consensus; they call it nema washi, meaning ‘digging around the roots’. The phrase comes from the practice of cutting around a tree a few weeks before you want to move it. The cut roots start sprouting new growth, so when they move the tree, new growth takes hold straight away. The cutting also prepares the tree more gradually for the move than uprooting it in one go. But if they find too many roots, that is, a host of objections, Japanese leaders tend to withdraw and continue discussions. They will not usually bring an issue to a vote until they feel that most people will agree. The debate is over before the meeting.

      Whatever their style, something that all leaders share is influence. We may see influential people on television, in films, in politics or at work, meet them socially or read about them in the press. We may admire them and want to copy them because they get things done, they stand for something important, something we want to be part of. We bestow ‘leadership’ on them. So leadership does not exist as an independent quality; it only exists between people. It describes a relationship. ‘Followers’ are the other half of leaders. They go together.

      Leadership has long been associated with authority – we tend to concentrate on the leader, to think of them as innately superior in some way, and take the followers for granted. But formal authority is only one possible part of leadership. Many leaders do not have it. In some cases, perhaps ‘companionship’ better describes the relationship between leader and followers.

      As leadership connects people in this way, I do not think it can be fully modelled from the outside by giving lists of how leaders act, culled from the study of other leaders. It can only be modelled from the inside, by each of us developing the values, beliefs and qualities we need to realize and achieve our purpose in life, to bring out our vision of what is possible. Then others will join us. We will be leaders first to ourselves and then to our companions.

      Thought Experiment I

      How do you think of ‘leadership’? What comes into your mind? Try it now.

      

      What are the qualities of your mental picture?

      Is it still or moving?

      How far away does it appear to be?

      Is it in colour or black and white?

      Are you in the picture?

      How do you feel about your picture?

      

      ‘Leadership’ an abstract noun and for many people the word conjures up a still picture, a frieze of troops on the battlefield or sometimes a symbol.

      

      Now think of ‘leading’.

      

      What comes into your mind?

      What are the qualities of your mental picture now?

      How are they different?

      How do you feel about this picture?

      

      ‘Leading’ is a verb and that means action, movement.

      Your mental pictures can spring to life.

      When you think about ‘leadership’, remember the reality behind the word – leaders act. They move towards something. They excite action; they transform people and change how they think. Leadership as an abstract noun languishes as a theoretical concept with no life or movement – interesting, but kept safely at arm’s length like a museum exhibit.²

      Think of a leader. Who comes to mind? A military leader like the Duke of Wellington, Napoleon, Winston Churchill or General Schwartzkopf? A political leader like Tony Blair, President Kennedy, Margaret Thatcher or Bill Clinton? Or a religious leader like Christ, Mohammed and the Buddha? What of the humanitarian leaders like Mother Teresa and Albert Schweitzer, popular charismatic figures like Princess Diana, or film stars, music stars or top figures in the world of fashion?

      Leaders form a very varied group, all strong characters who arouse passions both for and against. Yet they all have something in common that defines them as leaders – they have influence. They move people.

Vision

      Leadership starts with a vision, a tantalizing glimpse of a possible future. A vision sounds very grand, but it has just two simple qualities: it inspires you to act, and involves and inspires others to act as well.

      We СКАЧАТЬ