It’s a Wonderful Life: The Christmas bestseller is back with an unforgettable holiday romance. Julia Williams

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ Queen’s Speech, after which Dad makes us all sing the National Anthem. Depending on the levels of drunkenness (in which Mum disapprovingly doesn’t take part) this is either hilarious or excruciating. After that it’s a free-for-all with presents, and we collapse in front of the TV till Mum starts producing turkey sandwiches and Christmas cake. By this time Dad, Daniel and my brother Ged will have usually managed to demolish a bottle of port between them before Dad insists it’s time for Christmas charades, the bit of Christmas Day which I absolutely loathe. Everyone else always gets into the swing of it, but I’ve always hated it, ever since I was little. Dad gets really involved: I blame the fact that his job in insurance always suppressed his creativity, so he insists on letting rip at home. I hate standing up in front of other people and performing; I always find charades a massive trial. Maybe that’s why I’m an artist. I prefer to channel my creativity from behind an easel. Growing up hasn’t made it any more fun. I long for a charades-free Christmas, but I won’t be getting it any time soon.

      ‘It would just be nice to be at home one year, don’t you think?’ I say half-heartedly, but I know Daniel doesn’t really get it. His family are so different from mine. He was very close to his mum, who died shortly after we met, but he doesn’t get on well with his dad. They’re barely in touch. He very rarely talks about it, though I do know his dad was pretty useless when he was little. It makes me sad, because Daniel has so much love to give, and as an only child he has no family of his own since he lost his mum. From what he’s told me he had very quiet Christmases growing up, so he’s always loved being part of our family celebrations.

      ‘Nah, that means we’d have to do all the hard work. Come on, Beth, it will be fine.’ He comes over and gives me a big hug. ‘You’ll enjoy it – promise.’

       Lou

      I’m lying in bed with Jo one Saturday morning in August when Mum rings up.

      ‘Hi,’ I say, suddenly feeling immensely guilty. She doesn’t know about me, or about Jo. As ever, when I speak to her on the phone if Jo’s about I feel like there’s a big red sign on my head saying ‘Your daughter’s a lesbian!’ which she can somehow see. Which is ridiculous. One day I’ll tell her. One day. When I’m sure she won’t flip out and I won’t be cast from the family home. She and Dad are so old-fashioned I have no idea how they would take it. So I’m not going to be telling them any time soon.

      ‘Who’s that?’ says Jo, tickling my feet.

      ‘Mum,’ I mouth, trying not to giggle. I get up out of bed, not wanting to be distracted, not wanting to feel that I have to behave myself. Oh God, I wish it wasn’t like this. I wish I could tell my parents and my family who I really am. I haven’t even told my sister Beth. I want to, and she keeps hinting that Jo and I should come round, but I’ve let her think ‘Joe’ is a boy, and now I don’t know how to get out of it.

      Jo of course doesn’t understand this. Her parents are perfectly relaxed with her being gay, in a way I can’t imagine mine ever being. So much so that it took me till my late twenties to really admit to myself that I was into women not men. At school being a lesbian was pretty much a dirty word, and I thought I was odd for being attracted to girls. So I continued to have awkward sex and fumbled encounters with men I didn’t fancy, until one day I realised I couldn’t go on with it.

      But I still haven’t told my family, and now I don’t know how to. It’s pathetic to have got to thirty-eight and not come out to my parents, and I know Jo doesn’t understand it, but I can’t see a way to get around it.

      I tune into what Mum is saying. Oh. Christmas. Of course. We have to have the Christmas conversation in August in my family. It’s bloody nuts.

      ‘Yes of course I’m coming for Christmas, Mum. Where else would I go?’

      ‘And you haven’t got anyone you want to bring?’ She dangles the question. Christ – does she know? Has she guessed by some kind of telepathic Mum power?

      ‘No, no one,’ I say. ‘But don’t worry – I’ll be there.’

      ‘Jolly good,’ she says. ‘And how are things at work now? Any better?’

      I sigh. ‘Not really. We’re all still in limbo, just waiting to hear.’

      I work in credit control and the company I’ve just joined is in trouble. They’ve told us there might be redundancies but, surprise surprise, no decisions have been made yet. The waiting isn’t fun at all.

      ‘Well, you keep me posted,’ Mum says, and I promise I will.

      I get off the phone and get back into bed with Jo, lovely Jo, with whom I’ve spent a blissful spring and summer. I put my arms around her, trying not to think about work. I’ll cross that bridge if I come to it. For now, Jo is all that matters. We’ve had such a good summer; we’ve even spent a fabulous week in Greece together. I still can’t believe someone like her would be interested in me, and have to keep pinching myself because I feel so lucky.

      ‘What did your mum want?’ she asks.

      ‘She just wanted to know about my Christmas plans,’ I say.

      ‘Christmas? Now?’

      ‘I know,’ I say. ‘Mad innit?’

      ‘So what are your Christmas plans?’ she asks. ‘We could do something together if you want.’

      Woah. I wasn’t expecting that. I’m completely nuts about Jo, but I can’t seem to shake the feeling that she’s too good for me. Maybe it’s just because I’ve had so many disappointments in the past. I don’t want to jump in head first when it could still all go down the pan.

      ‘Maybe,’ I say. ‘I have great difficulties getting out of my family Christmas.’

      ‘Oh, go on Lou Lou, it will be fun.’ She seems a bit disappointed, which gives me a secret thrill. Much as I want to commit to it, I am too afraid to jinx what so far has been my most successful relationship yet. I prevaricate instead.

      ‘Christmas is ages away. Let’s not think about it now.’

      So we don’t, and I put it to the back of my mind. If by any chance I’m lucky enough to still be with Jo at Christmas, I’ll worry about it then.

       Daniel

      ‘Good luck.’ Beth kissed Daniel as he left the house at 8 a.m. for the first day at his new school. There was a lot riding on this new job for him.

      ‘I think I’m going to need it,’ he grimaced.

      ‘Oh ye of little faith,’ said Beth, ‘you’ll have them eating out of the palm of your hand by the end of the day.’

      Touched as he was by her belief in him, Daniel wasn’t entirely sure whether that were true. Moving from the big inner-city comprehensive which he’d run for the last five years to a much smaller Academy in leafy Wottonleigh was a big leap. In many ways, it should be easier: the results were better, the majority of students spoke English as a first language, and the parents, by all accounts, were committed to both the school and their children’s education, which had been far from the case for so many of his former pupils. Daniel had loved working in London, but the stress of commuting and the strain of the job СКАЧАТЬ