It’s a Wonderful Life: The Christmas bestseller is back with an unforgettable holiday romance. Julia Williams

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СКАЧАТЬ meeting ends inconclusively, with me promising to go away and rework both the text and drawings. As we pack up our things, Jack suggests coffee, and before I can think too much I say yes. I’m curious to know what he’s been up to, and he reminds me of a part of my life that I’d almost forgotten about, when I was young and free and wanted to change the world with my art.

      ‘Well, well, Lizzie Holroyd,’ he says as we squeeze into a busy Caffè Nero near the office. ‘I can’t tell you how great it is to see you again.’

      He flashes that gorgeous smile at me and I feel a bit dizzy. This is insane. What is going on in my head?

      ‘It’s good to see you too,’ I say, because aside from the dizziness, it is. ‘It’s Beth now, by the way.’ I put Lizzie behind me with Jack, and Daniel has only ever known me as Beth.

      Jack raises his eyebrows. ‘So, Beth, how’s life as a successful picture-book artist?’ he says. ‘I always knew you’d do well.’

      ‘Flatterer,’ I say, but secretly I’m pleased. Emotions aside, Jack was one of the most talented people in our year. His good opinion always mattered to me back then, and I’m surprised at how much it matters to me now. ‘To be honest I’m not really enjoying it much at the moment. This damned book is killing me,’ I say. ‘I’ve never had such difficulty working a story out.’

      ‘You’ll get there,’ he says. ‘You’re disgustingly talented, you know. You always were.’

      ‘Really?’ I can feel myself blushing.

      ‘Oh God, yeah,’ says Jack. ‘You had One Most Likely to Make It written all over you. I can’t tell you how great it is to meet you again, and see how well you’ve done.’

      He seems so genuine and warm, it’s hard to remember the Jack who broke my heart, and all I can think of is the Jack who I fell in love with way back then. I feel as though I’ve entered another life, and for a minute it’s as if the intervening years have slipped away. I didn’t used to have responsibilities – instead I had ambitions, ideas and fun. Who was that girl I used to be? So full of life and love and hope? Where has she gone? I miss her.

      ‘Thanks,’ I say. My heart is doing a silly fluttering thing. Which is ridiculous.

      Jack’s worn well. He looks fit and healthy, and at nearly forty is still devastatingly handsome.

      ‘So how’s life with you?’ I say. ‘Any kids?’

      ‘One,’ he says, ‘a daughter, aged five.’

      He shows me pictures. She’s cute as a button.

      ‘I’m not with her mum though. My fault.’ He looks rueful.

      ‘Ah, right,’ I say. The leopard clearly hasn’t changed his spots. ‘Sorry to hear that.’

      ‘I don’t have a great track record with women,’ he says. ‘Mainly because I have a bad habit of letting the good ones slip through my fingers …’

      He pauses and looks at me, in a way that feels significant. Shit, he can’t mean …? My heart is racing at the thought.

      ‘… So I’m not great with commitment.’

      He doesn’t mean me, I admonish myself. He’s just being nice.

      ‘Unlike you, I see,’ he says, clocking my rings.

      ‘Yes, happily married to Daniel for eighteen years,’ I say, looking down at my ring finger with a flash of guilt. ‘Two kids, a boy and a girl.’

      I find myself telling him about them enthusiastically, as if by doing so I can put a barrier between me and my fluttering heart.

      Because sitting here with Jack is nice – too nice. It feels dangerous. I should go.

      ‘I’m really glad you’re happy,’ says Jack, and his pleasure seems genuine.

      ‘Thanks,’ I say. ‘I am.’

      Which I am really, I know I am, but there’s a part of me now, here with Jack, that’s wondering how life could have been. Whether that girl I was wouldn’t have got lost under a welter of responsibilities if Jack had stayed in my life. I think of us sitting together in the college bar, talking about life over beer and packets of crisps.

      ‘I was an idiot back then,’ he says, and I realise he’s trying to apologise.

      ‘It’s a long time ago,’ I say, ‘all forgotten.’

      ‘There’s no fool like a young fool,’ he says, and smiles at me. ‘Your Daniel is a lucky man.’

      He shoots me a look. It’s regret, I think, mixed with something else. Desire? I am temporarily poleaxed. I have to get a grip.

      ‘I’m the lucky one,’ I say firmly. ‘I have a great life, wonderful children, and a gorgeous husband. I couldn’t want for anything more.’

      I am deliberately hiding behind the wall of my perfect domesticity, and trying to turn away from the dangerous feelings Jack is evoking.

      I think he senses it, because he comes over all business-like and says, ‘If you need to chat over the storyline and pictures some more, please do get in touch.’

      ‘That would be lovely,’ I say and give him a hug. The hug I receive in return is warm and heartfelt. It is with some regret that I pull myself away. ‘It’s been great to see you again.’

      ‘And you,’ he says.

      I watch him head back to the office, turning the card he’s given me over and over. I won’t take him up on his offer, I decide. It was lovely to catch up. But despite Jack Stevens’ devastating blue eyes and charming manner, the past should stay where it belongs. In the past.

       Daniel

      Daniel got in late from work to find Beth cooking and the kids, as usual, in their rooms. Sometimes it felt as if they’d already left home and it was just him and Beth in the house. For all the notice the kids took of them, they might as well be invisible. Still, it was always good to come home, to Beth, to their shared life. He was lucky to have such a family, lucky to have a four-bedroomed detached house, lucky to have a garden. He could never have imagined this happening to him when he was growing up, in the small flat he and his mum had shared in south London.

      ‘Good day?’ Beth asked, giving him a welcoming hug. He pulled her to him, breathed her in. She was every bit as gorgeous to him now as she had been that first day he’d met her at teacher training, when she’d walked into the lecture hall and smiled at him. He’d taken one look at the pretty arty girl with the long curling hair, and known that he was smitten. All these years later and he still was.

      ‘Busy,’ said Daniel. ‘How did the meeting go?’

      ‘It was dire,’ said Beth. ‘That girl. Ugh. I’m more confused than ever. I feel this bloody book is going to be the death of me.’

      ‘I’m СКАЧАТЬ