Force Majeure. Aloua S.

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СКАЧАТЬ woman said slowly, I heard how she began to turn over the pages in search of the desired surname: – No, she wasn’t brought to us.

      Without answering, I silently hung up. Two opposing feelings were fighting in me: relief, because the conversation was over and a heavy feeling that my mother was not there. So I spend all night, without stopping calling all the hospitals. I prayed the God only about one thing: let everything be fine with her, wherever she is now. But after the next telephone conversation, more and more terrible thoughts came. Desperation devoured me completely. Even though I was always lonely, for the first time I felt that I was left alone with fear… and repeated again and again: “God, please, let everything be fine with mom… I promise I will never ask you again about anything”.

      By the morning I did not understand anything, and began on the second round to call those whom I had not been able to reach before.

      Half asleep I dialed the number and automatically said:

      – Hello, have Assiya Lee been admitted to your hospital?

      – Hello, wait, I will look, – the same sleepy voice answered me: – Yes, she was admitted three days ago.

      – So wait, where am I calling? – I immediately woke up.

      – Well, the Cardiology Center! – the sleepy voice on the other end was indignant.

      – How is she? What with her? – I began to ask.

      – I am only a doctor on duty and I don’t know all the details, but all I can say is that her condition is critical but stable and she is unconscious, – the doctor replied.

      – I’ll be right there, – I uttered rapidly.

      Carefully looking at the address of the center in the directory, I took off like a shot from a gun and found myself in the yard of the house. Run out on the road, I immediately began to look around, not even know what to looking for. By the road, there was a guy with whom we often crossed paths in the yard. He was leaning back against a car and holding keys in his hands. Seeing my scared face, the guy immediately knew what to do.

      – Taxi? – he looked at me.

      – Yes… exactly! – I answered and tried to get into the back seat.

      – Sit down, bro! I’ll quickly take you. Where to go?, – he began to ask, getting into the car and throwing the seat belt over his head.

      – Main Cardiology Center, – I replied, and we immediately began to move.

      The taxi driver had been looking at me for a long time through the back mirror and finally decided to ask a question:

      – What’s up? You are pale as a ghost!

      – Mom’s in the hospital, – I replied in a low voice.

      – Mama? I hope everything is fine with her. We need to protect them, because they care about us all the time, and we only remember it when something is wrong with them, – he said, moving the conversation on serious topic.

      – Exactly, – I whispered, barely audible.

      The guy so quickly and recklessly drove round all the traffic jams and locks, that we very quickly got to the address.

      – Well, here we are. Remember: mother needs to be taken care of, – the guy said when I got out of the car. But at that moment I did not hear anything, I gave him money and rushed to the center. Then everything was like in a dream, until I got to her ward.

      A passing doctor saw me standing in the corridor at the ward and not dare to enter. He began to say and ask something. However, I did not hear anything except a mad heartbeat. It seemed to me that time slowed down. Having recovered myself a little, I began to catch: “… in serious condition, we hope that she will awake soon. We have several variants of diseases which have the similar symptoms. But we must interview her and only then an accurate diagnosis will be made. By the way, we wanted to contact you, but when she felt bad, she fell on the phone. As a result, the phone was broken. In this regard, all attempts to contact the relatives of the patient were impossible. You can spend a little time with her, but then you will have to leave”. The doctor opened the door for me, and I went into the ward. I was on the verge of tears after seeing her. I wanted to break everything around. But I could not move a finger, I was completely paralyzed. Having recovered myself, I sat down next to my mother and looked at her pale face for a long time and stroked her hand:

      – Mommy… darling. It’s me, Damir, your useless son. Forgive me, for being selfish, for not noticing that you were not at home, and for everything, it’s all because of me. You tried for me, but I… did not live up to your expectations. You know, now I will do everything for you! I promise! Just do not die… – I asked in a whisper. I just wanted to howl with pain, which pierced my soul to the bottom. But it didn’t matter how much I asked, she didn’t awake. I do not remember how long I sat there, but after a while the nurse asked me to leave the ward.

      Being deeply depressed, I sat crying in the corridor for a long time, left alone with my thoughts. I am separated from the world. My state of weightlessness distracted only by painfully familiar silhouette, which I saw at the end of the corridor. He stared at me and slowly approached. My heart sank, barely breathing, I got up: “My God, how many years have passed…” time seemed to stop. It seemed that everything was like in a slow-motion film… and this silhouette went up to his son and hugged him tightly, saying: “Sonny, I missed you”. But life is not a movie. Having come very close, he did not even recognize me, hell yeah, since more than ten years had passed.

      – Dad… – I called to my father.

      – Damir? – he forced out, not recognizing his son.

      – Yes, Dad, it’s me, – I told him.

      – What’s with your mom? – father has addressed to me, still peering at my matured face.

      “And about this he asks me after so many years?” My eyes dimmed. He did not even ask: how I lived all this time, how it was difficult for my mother to work round the clock, how we tighten our belts and survived as much as we could.

      – They themselves do not really know what’s wrong with her. As soon as mom wakes up – the doctors will interview her and make a diagnosis, – I answered coldly, turning away.

      – Good. I will bring in clouts so that they speed up. Sit here for now, – he answered, and hurried off somewhere, scrolling the contacts in his phone. Sitting waiting for my father, I had plenty of time to think and rethink my life. As a result, I realized several things: the first is that virtuality is much better than reality, if only because everything is not really there; the second – someday the reality will come, and it will be merciless, especially to the unprepared person.

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