The Emperor Waltz. Philip Hensher

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СКАЧАТЬ what do I do?’ Anita said, taking the bottle from Nathan. ‘I have a sniff here –’ she made a ladylike little noise ‘– and a sniff—’ and another one. ‘Ow,’ she said. ‘That stings,’ and holding one hand up to her eyes, she held the bottle out. ‘Put the lid on quickly, it smells awful.’

      But Nick held back: he let Basil reach out and take the bottle, and in a quick, puzzled way, he sniffed too, first with one nostril, then the other.

      ‘Wagwarn!’ said Nathan.

      ‘Wagwarn!’ said Nick.

      ‘Wagwarn!’ said Nathan.

      ‘Wagwarn!’ said Nick.

      ‘Safe, man,’ Nathan said, taking the bottle from Basil and capping it. ‘Basil, my man, you did it, man. You is the bossman, Basil, respect.’

      ‘Oh, that is strange,’ Basil said. ‘I feel all wavey now.’

      ‘Wavey, man, he said wavey,’ Nick said, laughing.

      ‘No, I really do, I feel wavey,’ Basil said, ‘my hands are almost wobbly, I don’t know why. But I don’t feel that this is like being drunk would be, well, maybe a little, but I feel wobbly, I don’t know why.’

      ‘I can’t believe you just like gave—’

      ‘I know why you is feeling a little bit wavey,’ Nathan said, ‘it is because ten seconds ago you had a massive snort off the poppers. Now give me

6.

      ‘and in the end I suppose I spent about forty-eight hours on it,’ Carraway was saying. ‘It was a whole weekend, dawn till dusk, and in the end,’ he burped sadly, and looked down at his plate, smeared with rice and gravy, looked down at it with the sad realization that he had in fact told this story before, told it earlier in the same evening to the same people, wondered only whether he had told it when the fat divorced woman had been there, drawing some comfort, anyway, from the thought that one person round the table hadn’t heard it before, if he had told it before, which he wasn’t one hundred per cent sure of, ‘in the end, I was really proud of it as a piece of work.’

      ‘He’s an odd boy in some ways,’ Vivienne was saying on the other side of the table, not listening to Carraway at all, ‘I would say rather old-fashioned. I don’t know who he takes after. He has hobbies in the way that children, these days, don’t seem to have hobbies, real, old-fashioned hobbies. Do your boys have hobbies?’

      ‘Hobbies?’ Caroline Carraway said, with a sharpness in her voice. ‘What do you mean, hobbies?’

      ‘Oh, things to pass the time, hobbies, you know,’ Vivienne said. ‘My son has half a dozen, and a strange couple of collections, too. It seems so old-fashioned nowadays – he plays the cello and the organ, he keeps a record of the morning temperature, he’s done that for years now, since he was seven. He did all the usual things that children do, like getting obsessed with dinosaurs, only with him it was cactuses, cacti I should say, he always corrects me.’

      ‘No,’ Charles Carraway said heavily. ‘I don’t think Nick or Nathan do any of that, actually.’

      ‘Can Bina take your plate away, Vivienne?’ Shabnam Khan said.

      ‘This was truly delicious, Shabnam, delicious – thank you – thank you! Well, children are all so

7.

      ‘time we were at my friend’s house, my friend Alice, it was amazing,’ Anita was saying.

      ‘I don’t know,’ Nathan was saying. ‘I don’t know what that means.’

      ‘This is this one time when her boyfriend Jonah wasn’t there, because he’s like always there, he and she, they’re like always all over each other with tongues and shit.’

      ‘I don’t know what you said,’ Nathan said. He was insistent. ‘What did you say?’

      ‘What you saying, wallad?’ Nick said.

      ‘What did you say?’ Nathan said. ‘You said something like, This shit is booky, man.’

      ‘Yeah, man, I said this shit is booky, man,’ Nick said.

      ‘Oh, yeah, cool,’ Nathan said.

      ‘Am I just like talking to myself, or whatever?’ Anita said.

      ‘You don’t know what booky means!’ Nick said.

      ‘Yeah, I do, man, I invented it, wallad,’ Nathan said.

      ‘Yeah, well, what’s it mean then, you feel me,’ Nick said.

      ‘I ain’t dealing with you and you foolishness,’ Nathan said.

      ‘What’s it mean?’ Nick said.

      ‘Fuck you,’ Nathan said.

      ‘What’s it mean!’ Nick said, and launched himself at Nathan with a chicken samosa in either hand, grinding them into Nathan’s face. They had disintegrated by the time Nick finished.

      ‘Fuck you,’ Nathan said, brushing the food from his T-shirt and trousers.

      ‘It means like when you ain’t sure what’s going on,’ said Nick, ‘you think there’s like a conspiracy, you think it’s gonna lead to something bad, then you’re like This shit is booky, man, that’s what it means. I ain’t believe you don’t know what booky means, man.’

      ‘I know what it means, man,’ Nathan said with disgust.

      ‘This shit is booky, man,’ Basil said experimentally.

      ‘Poor little boys,’ Anita said. ‘I know where you can find something better than that poppers, though.’

      ‘Ah, fuck you, Anita, with your no more vodka and your Indian Cornish pasty or whatever,’ Nick said.

      ‘No, seriously,’ Anita said. ‘Look at this. My dad would go spare if he knew I knew about this.’

      She raised herself from the floor, and went over to the desk. She pulled out the second highest drawer on the left, and awkwardly felt under the bottom of the top drawer. She tugged, and came away holding a small key attached to a strip of Sellotape. She made a mock curtsy.

      ‘Yeah, what’s that, the key to your mum’s sewing box?’ Nathan said.

      ‘No, little boy,’ Anita said. ‘It’s the key to the top drawer. My dad thinks I don’t know where he hides it.’

      ‘So what the fuck’s in the fucking top drawer?’ Nick said.

      ‘Oh, you wait and see,’ Anita said. ‘You just wait and see.’

      ‘I don’t think you should be doing that, Anita,’ Basil СКАЧАТЬ