Sixteen Shades of Crazy. Rachel Trezise

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СКАЧАТЬ Nobody’s taken it out yet.’ She worked in the video shop and watched each new release when it arrived, sitting at the counter with a packet of chocolate biscuits.

      ‘Have a good bloody look at it, El,’ Rhiannon said, ‘’cause it’s the closest to America ewe’ll ever get. Like them lot,’ she pointed at America Place. ‘Ewev’e already missed the fuckin’ boat.’

      There was another thing that interested Ellie about America Place, something she never talked about: Andy’s ex-girlfriend, Dirtbox. She lived in one of the converted cottages but Ellie’d forgotten which. He’d taken her to a party there once, a few weeks into their courtship, before he’d admitted that Dirtbox was his ex-girlfriend. He introduced her as his ‘friend’, the clumsy air around the word divulging a sense of mischief Ellie couldn’t quite define. The three of them had stood in the kitchen, gazing at her potted herbs. Then Andy pointed through the French doors at the prize-winning Lionhead rabbits leaping around in their pen. ‘That’s Flossy,’ he said, ‘and the other one is Thumper. Shag like bunnies they do.’ Something in that sentence revealed the true nature of his and Dirtbox’s relationship. Ellie hadn’t imagined that Andy’d had a life before she’d arrived, and the realization had hit her like a juggernaut doing ninety. She’d immediately fled, the soles of her motorbike boots bouncing on the cracked pavements of America Place, then Dynevor Street, then the dogtooth tiles of the railway station. Andy’d followed, coins dropping out of his pockets and rolling down on to the track. As he’d reached her, the Ystradyfodwg train appeared, its brakes screeching. Andy fell at her feet, tears streaming down either side of his nose.

      ‘Don’t leave me,’ he said tugging at the hem of her gingham dress, like a bad actor in a cheap made-for-TV film.

      The electronic doors parted with a computerized bleep.

      Ellie prised his fingers from her skirt, one digit after the other.

      ‘I’ll kill myself if you go,’ he said, skin claret.

      Ellie stepped on to the train. She didn’t go in for emotional blackmail then; that self-confident, post-Plymouth period of her life which felt like an aeon ago.

      ‘I’ll get the round in then, shall I?’ Andy said now, ambling into the pub.

      Marc picked up a newspaper, opened it to a black-and-white photograph of George Bush. ‘US admit guerrilla warfare,’ the headline said. He quickly flipped the page to a large colour photograph of a topless blonde model with generous, upturned nipples.

      Rhiannon sidled closer to Siân, brushing her plump fingers through her long ponytail. ‘Feels a bit dry, love,’ she said. ‘I’ve got some new conditioner. Why don’t ewe pop in the shop this week?’ Her voice the honeyed adaptation she used to flatter people she didn’t really like. Siân pulled her hair away from Rhiannon and smoothed it on to the opposite side of her neck.

      Andy came out carrying drinks on an aluminium tray. ‘Dai just told me that Gemma Williams is up the duff,’ he said. ‘Williams the Milk’s daughter. She’s only fourteen.’

      Rhiannon opened a compact and stared into the mirror. ‘Stupid likkle slut,’ she said, plucking a hair from her chin with a pair of steel tweezers.

      ‘Is there anybody else in there?’ Ellie said. She thought Johnny might have been here, smoking his abundant supply of cigarettes, buying beer for his girlfriend, telling the bar-staff that under no circumstances were they allowed to supply her with vodka. She thought he might have been coming here for weeks; that’s why she’d come.

      ‘No,’ Andy said. He shrugged. ‘Why?’

      Ellie ignored him, glanced around the square. The pine trees on Pengoes Mountain stretched up behind the sagging rooftops of the terraces, their branches thick with foliage, their tips piercing a cornflower sky. A car thudded over the cattle-grid, the sound echoing across the valley.

      Suddenly Ribs came out of the pub. ‘What the fuck are you doin’ yer?’ he said blinking at Andy. ‘Never see ’im on a Sunday do we?’ Ribs was a closet transvestite. He lived on his own in a house in Dynevor Street. He used to share a flat with Griff in the YMCA. Sometimes he forgot to remove his make-up before he left the house and he’d sit at the bar in the Pump House for two hours, a greasy film of red lipstick staining the rim of his pint glass, cheap blue mascara slithering down his cheekbones. There was some speculation about his sexual orientation because he’d tried to kiss Collin once, after a lock-in on a New Year’s Eve.

      ‘What songs shall we do, Ribs?’ Griff said, ‘for the John Peel session on the radio?’

      Ribs was a big fan of The Boobs. He’d been around since Marc started the band at the age of sixteen, supported them through the garage days when they practised in an abandoned allotment behind the industrial estate. He still went to every local gig, but didn’t know one song from another. He stood in front of the stage, his mouth flapping open and closed like an atheist holding a hymn book at a funeral. He wiped a sheet of sweat from his forehead, a coat of peach-coloured foundation disappearing with it. ‘It’s nearly bank holiday again,’ he said. ‘What are you going as this year?’

      Some of the villagers wore fancy dress for the annual August bank holiday pub crawl, because this was Aberalaw and they had to make their own fun. Ribs’s proudest moment came whilst wearing shocking pink stockings and red stilettos, pissing in a litter bin in the High Street, his back to the road. ‘Show us your tits, love,’ a bunch of joyriders had yelled at him through a car window.

      ‘I’m going as a copper,’ he said, ‘a female copper.’

      Ellie was looking at America Place again, and remembering that her grandmother had had wild pansies growing in her front garden, an exquisite purple colour. She had a funny name for them. ‘Johnny Jump-Ups!’ she said, thinking aloud. ‘That’s what my nanna called pansies, Johnny Jump-Ups.’ There, she’d said it. It had been balancing on her lips for a week and now it had slipped out accidentally, like a burp.

      ‘That’s that English bloke’s name ini?’ Ribs said. ‘Johnny?’

      ‘He’s a drug dealer he is,’ Griff said. ‘Dai told me, fallen out of favour with some big shot up in England.’

      ‘Dai’s a prick,’ Marc said.

      Ellie was thrilled with the response. If she couldn’t have Johnny there, the next best thing was listening to people talking about him.

      She liked the idea of him being some sort of fugitive, escaping Cornwall under the cover of darkness, his passport wedged in his back pocket. That image turned her nipples hard.

      Rhiannon snapped her compact shut. She looked at Ellie, brown eyes turning to brass. ‘Very funny, El,’ she said. ‘Johnny Jump-Ups? What did she call carnations?’

      ‘Carnations,’ Ellie said, playing ignorant, the familiar sting finding its way to the sides of her face. Rhiannon laughed her fat, fake laugh. She dropped her compact into her bag, fastened the zip and pushed the bag aside. ‘Why don’t ewe tell everyone ewer special news, then El?’ she said. She slowly eyed everyone at the table and then after a moment, said, ‘Ellie and Andy are getting married next year, Valentine’s Day. Ain’t that romantic?’

      ‘No way!’ Siân said, throwing herself at Ellie.

      Rhiannon drained her wineglass and put it on the ground, the glass ringing on the concrete. ‘Yep,’ she said, voice saccharine. ‘I take ewe, Andy, СКАЧАТЬ