Название: Unravelling
Автор: Elizabeth Norris
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Детская проза
isbn: 9780007460229
isbn:
I go out with a guy who, when he’s being serious, is interesting and funny and sort of sweet. We get along well enough, too, but if I’m really honest with myself, I don’t see a future with him. I can’t even see us together when school starts, let alone see myself trying to date him long-distance or go visit him when he’s in college. And I know we just started dating, but isn’t that what I should be imagining if I was really into him—isn’t that part of the reason why people start dating? Yet I choose to date him rather than hold out for someone I could love. Why? Because his ex-girlfriend’s a bitch? Because he’s pretty? Because it feels good to be liked? Because I don’t want to date someone I really care about since it will hurt more when it ends? Since I’d have to try?
How can I ever dare to meet my own eyes again? I can’t. Not even in dreams.
That night, in a drug-induced sedation, I dream my brother is crying, and instead of my dad teasing Jared to “man up” like he always does, I hear his voice, even and soothing. I can’t quite catch what he’s saying at first. Then Jared sniffs, and my father says, Your sister’s so tough, it’s frightening. That girl will outlive us all.
I dream about Ben Michaels hovering over me, somehow bringing me back from the dead.
And I dream about a doctor and two nurses looking at my X-rays. They stand right near my bed, the X-rays up in the light box. One of the nurses leaves as the doctor points to something on the image.
The doctor and remaining nurse whisper to each other.
The nurse comes back, and she’s brought another doctor with her. The four of them gesture to the X-ray, their voices floating through the room.
It looks like her backbone and spinal cord were completely severed and fused back together.
An old injury, maybe?
Maybe she had surgery?
Nothing in her medical history.
They sigh.
It doesn’t . . . it doesn’t look like an old injury . . . and even if it was . . . I’m not sure how anyone would be able to walk after an injury like that.
She’s lucky she isn’t paralyzed.
Lucky? It’s a miracle she’s even alive.
he day I’m released from the hospital my dad takes me home.
“She should rest,” Dr. Abrams tells him. “Stay off her feet, no physical exertion—”
“You said she hasn’t had any more seizures after the first one,” my dad says.
Dr. Abrams nods and explains why it’s important to keep an eye on me anyway.
To anyone else, it would look like my dad is listening respectfully and absorbing the details. I know better. He tugs on his left ear, which means he’s annoyed and running low on patience. He asks specific questions that suggest more medical knowledge than he has, which means he’s shown my test results and chart to someone at the Bureau, probably a medical examiner.
I don’t exactly care, though, that my dad has been giving everyone in the hospital a hard time. I’ve got more important things to focus on. Like what the hell Ben Michaels did to me. It’s just about all I’ve been able to think about since I woke up. I tried to have the conversation several times—where I said, “Alex, I died,” and he patted me like a two-year-old and basically said,
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I roll my head to the side to look at Jared. “What’s up, dude? You gonna tell me what happened to your hand?”
His right hand looks slightly bruised. I reach out, touching his knuckles. He winces. “What happened?” I whisper.
“I tried to punch Alex,” Jared says with a shrug. But he at least has the decency to drop his eyes and look embarrassed. “He’s fine, though.”
I made Alex take self-defense classes with me the summer before sophomore year. We always joked that if a guy attacked us, Alex would duck and I would knee the guy in the balls. (There’s a rumor I’m the reason Dave Kotlar only has one testicle now, but it’s a total lie. I have no idea what he did to himself, but since he hasn’t made any big attempts to dispel the rumors, it must be way more embarrassing than getting beat up by a girl.)
So I know if my brother—who’s never been in a fight in his life—tried to throw a punch at Alex, my best friend would do what he’s best at. He would duck.
“You were in the hospital, dying for all he knew, and Alex took me to polo.”
“Um, because I asked him to. Alex is well trained.”
Jared doesn’t smile like I want him to.
“Jared—”
“Whatever, it doesn’t matter,” he huffs. “I missed anyway.”
I open my mouth to try to explain, but I realize that would mean explaining my friendship with Alex, and I don’t know how to explain something that’s just always existed. He’s lived two doors down from me my whole life. Once upon a time, our moms took us to playgroups together, swimming lessons, even dance classes.
But Jared knows that. What he doesn’t know is that Alex has been helping me deal with our mother’s illness and cover up her drinking since Jared was too young to know there was a problem. Or that our friendship has survived because Alex listens to me. Because Alex knows that supporting me means tackling obstacles my way—head-on. And I don’t know how to explain that Alex is the only reason I’ve been able to stay sane while Dad worked and I had to be a parent—the only reason Jared has been able to do things like play water polo.
Which is why Alex, despite how much he would have been freaking out on the inside, would have taken Jared to polo like it was just another normal day.
But by the time I have all that sorted out in my head, Jared has started telling me about his first (half) day of school— freshman orientation.
“After the assembly and the tour, I went to my first two classes—”
“What do you have?”
He frowns at me. “Biology and ENS. But the cool part was, after I came out of ENS, Nick and Kevin were waiting for me.”
Exercise Nutritional Science is a glorified gym class all freshmen have to take, but more importantly . . . “Nick and Kevin were on campus?”
Jared nods. “They brought three pizzas from Uncle Vinnie’s for me and my friends, and we all sat and ate, and they told stories about their freshman year. It was awesome.”
“Awesome?” СКАЧАТЬ