The Accursed. Joyce Carol Oates

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СКАЧАТЬ so poorly coordinated that he was always stumbling, or falling down, to the dismay of his parents and the derision of other boys. Yet more puzzling, Todd often reached for things that were not there—but rather a few inches to one side. The more futile his behavior, the more frustrated and impatient he was.

      Todd particularly upset his father Copplestone, a man of shrewd business acumen, and financial success in trade; who prided himself on his speaking and writing abilities, as he had been head of the Princeton Debate Club, and a popular “man on campus” during his undergraduate years; and who could not bear it, that his only son “refused” (as Copplestone put it) to learn to read, and write; and was so stubborn as to hold a book several inches to one side of his head, or even upside-down. This “prank” as Copplestone judged it was especially infuriating, and had to be met with discipline—“Why, the child is either a devil, or harbors one,” Copplestone would declare to Todd’s weeping mother, after one of their father-son contests, which, in the matter of sheer lung volume, and franticness of behavior, Todd triumphed, sending Copplestone charging out of the room.

      (Yet it was said, perhaps irresponsibly, that, in private, Copplestone applied “discipline” to his unruly son: whether by hand, or switch or belt, is not known. Certainly, Winslow Slade was not known to have disciplined his sons Copplestone and Augustus, nor even to have raised his voice to them when they were young.)

      Yet Todd would not learn his ABC’s, still less arithmetic, despite the efforts of his father and of numerous tutors; with the result that, by his twelfth year, his family had given up forcing him, and had become reconciled to the boy’s stubbornness, obstinacy, or whatever it might be called. (Later, when Todd was older, after the trauma of the Curse had run its course, it would seem that he could “read” and even “write” after a fashion; even, it was claimed, that Todd was “above average” in many respects; for Todd was enrolled in the Princeton Academy, when I entered first grade there in 1911, and must have been taking regular courses.) Though prone to temper tantrums, Todd could also behave very sweetly; he had long been taken up by his cousin Annabel as a favorite; and even, from time to time, by Josiah, who lacked his sister’s patience for their young cousin. (Josiah was most frustrated that, in board games like checkers and chess, Todd often won; not because Todd was a superior player but because Todd so shamelessly and skillfully cheated, with a touch so light he was rarely caught. “He will make a brilliant politician at Tammany Hall, where money evaporates in plain air,” Josiah said, “if, unlike some at Tammany Hall, he can stay out of jail long enough.”)

      Wilhelmina instructed herself that Todd Slade was only a child—only a boy of eleven; yet she feared something precocious and penetrant in his gaze, and halfway wondered if the child might be possessed of clairvoyant powers. For one Sunday at Crosswicks, a few months before this time, Todd made his way through a gathering of adults most deliberately to Wilhelmina, to shake her hand gravely and offer his condolences in a low, insinuating voice; saying that, as Josiah was absent from the party, Miss Burr was condemned to a “mere mastication of tasteless food” and the “auscultation of tuneless music”—a statement so preposterous out of the mouth of a child, Willy could scarcely believe what she’d heard. Then, when the impish lad repeated his words, eyeing her with a semblance of genuine sympathy, she flushed crimson, and found it difficult to breathe, to realize that Todd Slade knew—(could it be general knowledge through Princeton?)—the secret of her love for Josiah Slade.

      But I have not told anyone! Not even Annabel.

      Following this, Wilhelmina felt very cautious about Todd Slade, yet grateful to him, he had not divulged her secret to any other person, so far as she knew.

      So it was, Todd still wished to be read to, and not to read; and Annabel liked to indulge him, for it made him happy, as if he were a child of but three or four, to be so easily made happy. After “The Ugly Duckling” Todd requested “The Hill of the Elves,” an old nursery favorite, and after that “The Snow Queen”—which Annabel hesitated to read, for reasons of her own. Yet Todd so persisted, kicking his heels against the ground, and rolling his eyes back into his head, that she had no choice but to give in; but her voice seemed thinner, and her manner less animated, and after a few minutes Todd grew bored, and hummed, and sighed, and began to yank out clumps of grass to toss at Thor, and excite him. When Annabel read of the little boy’s sleigh ride with the Snow Queen, and of how they “flew” over woods and lakes, over sea and land, while beneath them the cold wind howled, and the wolves cried, and the deathly snow glittered, Todd nervously yawned, as if he were indifferent to such terrors; and at last knocked the storybook out of his cousin’s hands!—then, before the startled Annabel could protest, he leapt to his feet and ran in the direction of the forest, driving the excited dog before him, both child and dog barking with a crazed sort of elation.

      Wilhelmina said, “Annabel, you’ve spoiled your cousin. He will only get worse, if you persevere.”

      “But—what would I do? What would any of us do? Todd is—as Todd is.”

      “Are you so sure? That is a way of giving up on him, you know—for he can never become an adult, nor even a young person in high school or college, if he is so indulged.”

      Surprisingly, Annabel didn’t deny this; but, her sweet face unpleasantly flushed, and her eyes shimmering with tears, she did no more than shut the storybook, and let it fall.

      “Yes, you’re right, Willy. This is my reward.”

      When, afterward, Willy examined her sketch of Annabel she discovered that her friend’s likeness was so shadowed with worry, and melancholy, and some queer insinuation of the cynical—(in a curve of Annabel’s lips)—she didn’t want to show it to her, and thought it most prudent to fold the sketch quickly, and hide it in her bag. Seeing this, Annabel asked, with a hurt little laugh, if the drawing was so very hideous; and Willy said, “Yes, it is, a bit—but the failure is the artist’s, and not the model’s. I will try again, soon—another time.”

      The young women resumed their stroll, following Todd into the forest; though, a mood of gravity having overtaken them, they were not now inclined to walk arm in arm.

      After several strained minutes Willy said, in a voice low and chastened with emotion, “Annabel, I hope you won’t ‘drift away’ from me—and from other friends, who love you—after you and Dabney are married. Sometimes I fear you are already ‘drifting away’—for, unless I’ve been imagining it, you’ve been a little distant, and distracted, lately, at least in my company . . .”

      Quickly Annabel protested: “Willy, that is untrue! You are my anchor—you and Josiah. I will never ‘drift away’ from either of you—I swear not to lose either of you.”

      Willy smiled, hearing her name so coupled with Josiah Slade’s name; and remarked only that it struck her ear as odd, that Annabel should swear she would not lose her brother, or her oldest friend—“Which makes me think that you are somewhat troubled, Annabel?—and hesitant to speak?”

      Again quickly Annabel protested, with a little laugh: “Willy, no. You are beginning to tease and torment me, now. Maybe we should change the subject?”

      “Of course. Consider the subject changed.”

      “In my heart, Willy, in my soul—I am not troubled in the slightest. I am—very happy . . .”

      But Annabel’s voice so suggested otherwise, Willy turned to her, slipping an arm around her waist: “Dear Annabel, what is it? Please tell me.”

      “I’ve told you—there is nothing to tell.”

      “Where I love, you know I don’t judge. Is it something between you and Dabney? Has it to do with—your parents? Are СКАЧАТЬ