Mother’s Only Child. Anne Bennett

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СКАЧАТЬ him soothingly, ‘and don’t fret about me. I have a few irons in the fire. You just concentrate on getting well enough to leave here.’

      Sean had come over to see Sam as soon as he’d been told of the accident. ‘When it’s all over with my father—and, God knows, he’s in such pain, I hope that’s not long away—will you all come up to live at the house?’

      ‘I don’t think so, Uncle Sean,’ Maria said. ‘I don’t think Mammy would like to leave here. And I’m worried enough about her as it is.’

      Sean thought Maria had cause to worry, for he had been concerned by the vacant look in his sister’s eyes and the way she didn’t seem to hear when a person spoke to her, or even be aware of her surroundings. It was as though she was on the edge of normality and he knew it wouldn’t take much to tip her over into true madness.

      Maria knew it too. Somehow she’d have to make a living, but she didn’t know how she could leave her mother day in, day out for hours on end. She wasn’t fit to be left. Dora or Bella would come to sit with her the times Maria went to the hospital, knowing she was worried about leaving her alone. Maria knew that when her father came home, she’d be his main carer too, and she just didn’t know how they were all to survive. The anxiety of this drove sleep from her each night and so her eyes stung with tiredness and there were smudges of blue beneath them.

      Sam saw how his daughter suffered and, though his heart ached, he could nothing to ease any of it for her.

      By the beginning of the third week, Sarah seemed to have retreated into a world of her own. ‘It is shock, as you suspected,’ Dr Shearer said, when a worried Maria asked him to call. ‘Her mind has shut down because she can’t bear what has happened.’

      ‘Is it permanent?’ Maria asked.

      ‘It’s impossible to say,’ the doctor said. ‘The mind is a strange thing. I could arrange for her to go to the psychiatric unit of the District Hospital in Letterkenny for assessment.’

      ‘A mental hospital?’ Maria said. ‘An asylum?’ Unconsciously she curled her lip.

      ‘The psychiatric unit of the District Hospital,’ the doctor repeated.

      ‘She isn’t that bad, is she?’ Maria asked.

      ‘It isn’t a question of how bad she is, but whether she can be helped further,’ the doctor said.

      Maria had a horror of her mother going to such a place. She had a mental picture of what went on in an asylum—and it was an asylum, no matter what fancy name the doctor gave it. She was sure there would be raving lunatics, encased in strait-jackets, or incarcerated in cells, sometimes padded, to prevent them injuring themselves. She wanted her frail and gentle mother nowhere near that, not mixing with mad people.

      ‘I think she’d be better at home for now, Doctor, but thank you anyway,’ she said.

      The doctor shrugged. ‘As you wish, Maria, but remember everyone of us has a breaking point, even you. Don’t allow yourself to go under, for you’ll soon not only have your mother to see to, but your father too.’

      Did he think she was unaware of that? Maria shut the door behind him with a bang. She caught her mother up by the hand and, stopping only to wrap a shawl around her, made for the shop.

      ‘I must get a job,’ she told Dora. ‘But I can’t leave Mammy, and when Daddy comes home it will be worse. What am I to do?’

      ‘And will your father get nothing from the navy or the Government?’ Dora asked.

      ‘Barney says not.’

      ‘And the boatyard?’

      ‘Limping along just,’ Maria said. ‘Willie’s finished. He’s living with his daughter now.’

      ‘Barney’s been a grand help to you,’ Dora said.

      ‘He’s been wonderful,’ Maria agreed warmly. ‘I don’t know what I’d do without him, and that’s the truth. Daddy has quite revised his opinion of him, but that doesn’t help me find a solution to this problem of earning some money.’

      Dora was thoughtful that evening and eventually Bella asked what was bothering her.

      ‘I could see to Sam through the day once he’s home, so that Maria could get a job, but there’s still the problem of Sarah.’

      Bella had been heartbroken to see her friend so ill, and hoped and prayed she might one day recover. She’d taken on a girl called Maggie to help in the shop when Maria left. She said, ‘I could maybe have Sarah here during the day. I’m sure I could find her some occupation, weighing and bagging up or some such. Between myself and Maggie, we’ll manage her. After all, Maria can’t do it all.’

      Maria was almost overcome by Bella and Dora’s offer and set about finding a job straight away in one of the factories making military uniforms.

      However, a few days before she started work, Greg Hopkins came home on leave and soon landed himself at Maria’s door. She smiled, glad to see him and invited him inside.

      ‘I can’t tell you how heartsore I am,’ he said, and his dark brown eyes were troubled. ‘My mom wrote and told me.’

      ‘Thank you, Greg,’ Maria said. She saw that Greg’s boyhood had been shed and he was now a man, fine and strapping. He had always been handsome, but his face had once had a sort of soft look about it. Now that was gone. He looked more determined somehow. He was broader shouldered than he’d ever been and carried himself with confidence and assurance. Maria felt a tremor pass down her body as she looked at him.

      ‘I’m truly sorry that I won’t be around to help you through this,’ Greg said. ‘Pardon me asking this, and please don’t be offended, but how are you managing for money?’

      ‘I’m not offended,’ Maria said. ‘I know you are asking only out of concern, but you needn’t worry. Daddy had a little saved from his time in the yard and then the villagers have been marvellous. With Bella and Dora’s help, I have been able to look for a job and I am starting at a shirt factory in Derry in a few days’ time. Bella is taking charge of Mammy during the day and Dora will see to Daddy, once he is ready to come home.’

      It was said so matter-of-factly, but Greg heard the sadness and weariness in Maria’s voice and his heart turned over in pity for this lovely, young girl with such a heavy burden across her narrow shoulders.

      He was certain now he loved and would always love her and wondered how Maria felt about him. He wouldn’t press her, knowing such a lot had happened to her recently, and she was but sixteen yet.

      ‘Do you ever get out, Maria?’ he asked. ‘Have time for yourself?’

      ‘What do you think?’ Maria said. ‘Free time is something I don’t have an abundance of.’

      ‘I have but a few days before I report back,’ Greg said, ‘and you have less time before you start work. It would please me greatly if you let me take you to the pictures this evening. Gone with the Wind is showing in Derry.’

      ‘Oh,’ Maria said. The pictures! She’d never been and oh, how she’d longed to often. But she shook her head regretfully. ‘I…I couldn’t,’ СКАЧАТЬ