Briefing for a Descent Into Hell. Doris Lessing

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СКАЧАТЬ Current, from clockwise to anti-clockwise. The wise anti-clocks.

      NURSE. I see.

      PATIENT. Well, why don’t you?

      NURSE. I don’t know how.

      PATIENT. Is it a question of some sort of a password? Who was that man who was here yesterday?

      NURSE. Do you mean Doctor Y.? He was in to see you.

      PATIENT. He’s behind this. He knows. A very kindly contumacious man.

      NURSE. He’s kind. But I wouldn’t say contumacious.

      PATIENT. I say it, so why shouldn’t you?

      NURSE. And Doctor X. was in the day before that.

      PATIENT. I don’t remember any Doctor X.

      NURSE. Doctor X. will be in later this afternoon.

      PATIENT. In what?

      NURSE. Do try and lie still. Try and sleep.

      PATIENT. If I do, I’m dead and done for. Surely you must know that, or you aren’t a maid mariner.

      NURSE. I’m Alice Kincaid. I told you that before. Do you remember? The night you came in?

      PATIENT. Whatever your name, if you sleep you die.

      NURSE. Well, never mind, hush. There, poor thing, you are in a state. Just lie and—there, there. Shhhhh, hush. No, lie still. Shhh … there, that’s it, that’s it, sleep. Sleeeeeeeep. Sle-e-p.

      Patient distressed, fatigued, anxious, deluded,

      hallucinated.

      Try Tofronil? Marplan? Tryptazol? Either that

      or shock.

       August 21st

      DOCTOR X.

      DOCTOR Y. Well, now, nurse tells me you are Sinbad today?

      PATIENT. Sin bad. Sin bad. Bad sin.

      DOCTOR Y. Tell me about it? What’s it all about?

      PATIENT. I’m not telling you.

      DOCTOR Y. Why not?

      PATIENT. You aren’t one of Them.

      DOCTOR Y. Who?

      PATIENT. The Big Ones.

      DOCTOR Y. No, I’m just an ordinary sort of size, I’m afraid.

      PATIENT. Why are you afraid?

      DOCTOR Y. Who are they, The Big Ones?

      PATIENT. There were giants in those days.

      DOCTOR Y. Would you tell them?

      PATIENT. I wouldn’t need to tell Them.

      DOCTOR Y. They know already?

      PATIENT. Of course.

      DOCTOR Y. I see. Well, would you tell Doctor X.?

      PATIENT. Who is Doctor X.?

      DOCTOR Y. He was in yesterday.

      PATIENT. In and Out. In and Out. In and Out.

      DOCTOR Y. We think it would help if you talked to someone. If I’m no use to you, there’s Doctor X., if you like him better.

      PATIENT. Like? Like what? I don’t know him. I don’t see him.

      DOCTOR Y. Do you see me?

      PATIENT. Of course. Because you are there.

      DOCTOR Y. And Doctor X. isn’t here?

      PATIENT. I keep telling you, I don’t know who you mean.

      DOCTOR Y. Very well, then. How about Nurse? Would you like to talk to her? We think you should try and talk. You see, we must find out more about you. You could help if you talked. But try to talk more clearly and slowly, so that we can hear you properly.

      PATIENT. Are you the secret police?

      DOCTOR Y. No. I’m a doctor. This is the Central Intake Hospital. You have been here nearly a week. You can’t tell us your name or where you live. We want to help you to remember.

      PATIENT. There’s no need. I don’t need you. I need Them. When I meet Them they’ll know my needs and there’ll be no need to tell Them. You are not my need. I don’t know who you are. A delusion, I expect. After so long on this raft and without real food and no sleep at all, I’m bound to be deluded. Voices. Visions.

      DOCTOR Y. You feel that—there. That’s my hand. Is that a delusion? It’s a good solid hand.

      PATIENT. Things aren’t what they seem. Hands have come up from the dark before and slid away again. Why not yours?

      DOCTOR Y. Now listen carefully. Nurse is going to sit here with you. She is going to stay with you. She is going to listen while you talk. And I want you to talk, tell her who you are and where you are and about the raft and the sea and about the giants. But you must talk more loudly and clearly. Because when you mutter like that, we can’t hear you. And it is very important that we hear what you are saying.

      PATIENT. Important to you.

      DOCTOR Y. Will you try?

      PATIENT. If I remember.

      DOCTOR Y. Good. Now here is Nurse Kincaid.

      PATIENT. Yes. I know. I know her well. She fills me full of dark. She darks me. She takes away my mind.

      DOCTOR Y. Nonsense. I’m sure she doesn’t. But if you don’t want Nurse Kincaid either, we’ll simply leave a tape recorder here. You know what a tape recorder is, don’t you?

      PATIENT. I did try and use one once but I found it inhibiting.

      DOCTOR Y. You did? What for?

      PATIENT. Oh, some damned silly lecture or other.

      DOCTOR Y. You give lectures, do you? What sort of lectures? What do you lecture about?

      PATIENT. Sinbad the sailor man. The blind leading the blind. Around and around and around and around and around and …

      DOCTOR Y. Stop it! Please. Don’t start that again. Please.

      PATIENT. Around and around and around and around and …

      DOCTOR Y. Around what? You are going around what? Where?

      PATIENT. I’m not going. I’m being taken. The current. The North Equatorial, from the North African Coast, across, past the West Indies to the Florida Current, past Florida around СКАЧАТЬ