Ethan. Diana Palmer

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СКАЧАТЬ didn’t answer her. He turned and dropped back down into the armchair by the bed, crossing his legs. Absently he played with the empty coffee cup. Loved Miriam? He’d wanted her. But love? No. He wished he could tell Arabella that, but he’d become too adept at keeping his deepest feelings hidden.

      He put the cup down on the floor beside his chair. “A cracked mirror is better replaced than mended,” he said, lifting his eyes back to Arabella’s. “I don’t want a reconciliation. So, that being the case,” he continued, improvising as he began to see a way out of his approaching predicament, “we might be able to help each other.”

      Arabella’s heart jumped. “What?”

      He stared at her, his eyes probing, assessing. “Your father raised you in an emotional prison. You never tried to break out. Well, here’s your chance.”

      “I don’t understand.”

      “That’s obvious. You used to be better at reading between the lines.” He took a cigarette from the pack in his pocket and dangled it from his fingers. “Don’t worry, I won’t light it,” he added when he saw the look she gave him. “I need something to do with my hands. What I meant was that you and I can pretend to be involved.”

      She couldn’t prevent the astonished fear from distorting her features. He’d pushed her out of his life once, and now he had the audacity to want her to pretend to be involved with him? It was cruel.

      “I thought you’d be bothered by the suggestion,” he said after a minute of watching her expression. “But think about it. Miriam won’t be here for another week or two. There’s time to map out some strategy.”

      “Why can’t you just tell her not to come?” she faltered.

      He studied his boot. “I could, but it wouldn’t solve the problem. She’d be dancing in and out of my life from now on. The best way, the only way,” he corrected, “is to give her a good reason to stay away. You’re the best one I can think of.”

      “Miriam would laugh herself sick if anyone told her you were involved with me,” she said shortly. “I was only eighteen when you married her. She didn’t consider me any kind of competition then, and she was right. I wasn’t, and I’m not.” She lifted her chin with mangled pride. “I’m talented, but I’m not pretty. She’ll never believe you see anything interesting about me.”

      He had to control his expression not to betray the sting of those words. It hurt him to hear Arabella talk so cynically. He didn’t like remembering how badly he’d had to hurt her. At the time, it didn’t seem that he’d had a choice. But explaining his reasoning to Arabella four years too late would accomplish nothing.

      His eyes darkened as he watched Arabella with the old longing. He didn’t know how he was going to bear having to let her walk out of his life a second time. But at least he might have a few weeks with her under the pretext of a mutual-aid pact. Better that than nothing. At least he might have one or two sweet memories to last him through the barren years ahead.

      “Miriam isn’t stupid,” he said finally. “You’re a young woman now, well-known in your field and no longer a country mouse. She won’t know how sheltered you’ve been, unless you tell her.” His eyes slid gently over her face. “Even without your father’s interference, I don’t imagine you’ve had much time for men, have you?”

      “Men are treacherous,” she said without thinking. “I offered you my heart and you threw it in my teeth. I haven’t offered it again, to anyone, and I don’t intend to. I’ve got my music, Ethan. That’s all I need.”

      He didn’t believe her. Women didn’t go that sour over a youthful infatuation, especially when it was mostly physical to begin with. Probably the drugs they’d given her had upset her reasoning, even if he’d give an arm to believe she’d cared that much. “What if you don’t have music again?” he asked suddenly.

      “Then I’ll jump off the roof,” she replied with conviction. “I can’t live without it. I don’t want to try.”

      “What a cowardly approach.” He said the words coldly to disguise a ripple of real fear at the way she’d looked when she said that.

      “Not at all,” she contradicted him. “At first it was my father’s idea to push me into a life of concert tours. But I love what I do. Most of what I do,” she corrected. “I don’t care for crowds, but I’m very happy with my life.”

      “How about a husband? Kids?” he probed.

      “I don’t want or need either,” she said, averting her face. “I have my life planned.”

      “Your damned father has your life planned,” he shot back angrily. “He’d tell you when to breathe if you’d let him!”

      “What I do is none of your concern,” she replied. Her green eyes met his levelly. “You have no right whatsoever to talk about my father trying to dominate me, when you’re trying to manipulate me yourself to help you get Miriam out of your hair.”

      One silvery eye narrowed. “It amazes me.”

      “What does?” she asked.

      “That you hit back at me with such disgusting ease and you won’t say boo to your father.”

      “I’m not afraid of you,” she said. She laced her fingers together. “I’ve always been a little in awe of my father. The only thing he cares about is my talent. I thought if I got famous, he might love me.” She laughed bitterly. “But it didn’t work, did it? Now he thinks I may not be able to play again and he doesn’t want anything to do with me.” She looked up with tear-bright eyes. “Neither would you, if it wasn’t for Miriam hotfooting it down here. I’ve never been anything but a pawn where men were concerned, and you think my father is trying to run my life?”

      He stuck the hand that wasn’t holding the cigarette into his pocket. “That’s one miserable self-image you’ve got,” he remarked quietly.

      She looked away. “I know my failings,” she told him. She closed her eyes. “I’ll help you keep Miriam at bay, but you won’t need to protect me from my father. I very much doubt if I’ll ever see him again after what’s happened.”

      “If that hand heals properly, you’ll see him again.” Ethan tossed the unlit cigarette into an ashtray. “I have to get Mother and Mary and drive them in to see you. The man I sent for your clothes should be back by then. I’ll bring your things with us.”

      “Thank you,” she said stiffly.

      He paused by the bedside, his eyes attentive. “I don’t like having to depend on other people, either,” he said. “But you can carry independence too far. Right now, I’m all you’ve got. I’ll take care of you until you’re back on your feet. If that includes keeping your father away, I can do that, too.”

      She looked up. “What do you have in mind to keep Miriam from thinking our relationship is a sham?”

      “You look nervous,” he remarked. “Do you think I might want to make love to you in front of her?”

      Her cheeks went hot. “Of course not!”

      “Well, you can relax. I won’t ask you for the ultimate sacrifice. СКАЧАТЬ