DISHONOUR. Jacqui Rose

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СКАЧАТЬ around; hoping no one else had heard Thompson’s threat. It wouldn’t do to lose the authority and respect he’d worked so hard to establish within the prison. But it wouldn’t do either to pass off the threat as idle. He knew Thompson’s reputation. Knew it wouldn’t take more than a nod for Freddie to get his men to pay him a visit at home. He had a wife and daughter to think of. He’d been in the service thirty-odd years now and it didn’t get any easier. He’d spent more years behind the high grey prison walls than most lifers had. Retirement couldn’t come soon enough.

      Clearing his throat, he whispered through the hatch.

      ‘Okay Thompson, what’s up? What do you want? Just whatever it is, keep it down.’

      ‘I need to use the phone.’

      ‘You know the rules; no phone calls on lock down.’

      ‘Yeah and you and I both know I don’t give a shit about them.’

      Even through the hatch, Freddie could see how nervous the deputy governor looked. He could see the sweat coming through the wiry whiskers of his greying beard. ‘It’s more than my job, Thompson.’

      ‘Not my problem … governor.’

      The cell hatch door closed and a few moments later, Freddie could hear the rattle of keys.

      ‘Okay make it quick … and mind, I don’t want any trouble.’

      Freddie didn’t bother answering. He smirked as he was led into the main section of the prison wing. Even though the wing was on lock down due to a fight in the recreational area earlier, it was as noisy as ever. Shouts and bangs were heard coming from discontented prisoners behind the rows of slate grey steel doors.

      His reputation and influence made it possible for Freddie not to share a cell with anyone else. The other cells in the wing were overcrowded, four men to a two man cell; but he’d made sure the screws had been paid off nicely. Having the eight feet by ten feet cell was the only slight comfort he had in an otherwise relentlessly harsh regime. There was no way Freddie could serve time and share a cell with a stinking farting stranger.

      Freddie picked up the phone and dialled the familiar number. He’d been calling all day and there’d been no answer. Even in normal circumstances not being able to get in contact would’ve driven him crazy but being inside, it was a whole new level entirely. The call connected then cut into voicemail. ‘Shit … Tasha it’s me. I don’t know where you are or what the fuck you’re playing at but you need to answer … I’ll call back later and you better start picking up.’

      Freddie slammed the phone down back in the cradle. Breathing quickly and deeply he bit down on his knuckle, noticing his wedding band as he did so. What he really wanted to do was put his fist through the wall.

      ‘Missus playing away Thompson?’

      The smirk and the narrowing of Freddie’s eyes was enough to tell the deputy governor he’d said the wrong thing. The fist hitting his mouth confirmed it. Later the deputy governor would tell his wife it wasn’t the blow which had surprised him, it was how much it’d hurt.

      Supper time clanged out the usual sounds of metal trays and plastic plates. Mashed potatoes and meat stew slopped onto the blue dishes, with a lucky few coming away with apple pie and custard, the rest coming away with only overripe and undercooked fruit.

      Freddie sat in the corner of the large canteen, waiting for his meal to be brought to him by one of the other lags. His fist throbbed and he rubbed it absent-mindedly. He’d spent the last couple of hours in his cell awaiting his punishment but as the whole of the wing had been on lock down anyway, it hadn’t really been much of a hardship.

      Freddie knew full well no real punishment could be dished out to him. The person who was supposed to reprimand him was the person he’d hit. And the person he’d hit had taken him out of his cell, letting him use the phone when he shouldn’t. Stalemate.

      ‘All right Freddie? A hooker for your thoughts?’

      It was Eddie Davidson. An old acquaintance of Freddie’s and a fellow lifer; sent down for putting an axe in his long-term girlfriend’s head. A couple of months ago he’d been moved from Parkhurst for trying to start a riot, transferring to the same prison as Freddie but to a different wing, making this the first time they’d had a chance to meet up. Freddie smiled.

      ‘You know how it is Eddie. But good to see you mate.’

      Eddie sat down, glaring at another prisoner who’d come to sit at the same table but catching Eddie’s hostile stare, thought better of it. ‘I wanted to thank you for getting me moved to your wing Freddie. Appreciate it mate.’

      Freddie waved away the thanks. ‘Turn it in Eddie. You and me go back a long way. The minute I heard you’d been bounced here I had to make sure you were looked after. I couldn’t have you holed up with the nonces on E-wing. Anything you need, come to me.’

      Eddie smiled, showing off a mouth of neglected teeth. ‘I’m the one who owes you pal, so if there’s anything I can do for you, let me know.’

      ‘To tell you the truth Eddie, it’s just good to see an old face. I could do with the company.’

      Freddie stopped abruptly as his food was put in front of him and waited for the lag to walk away before he continued. Pushing his food round the plate and putting anything looking like onions to the side, he talked, trying to keep his voice free of the emotions which were gnawing away at him. ‘I’m struggling here Eddie. Finding it a bit rough. You heard about Ray-Ray?’

      Eddie nodded his head. ‘Yeah, I’m sorry.’

      ‘Cheers. He was given a good seeing to before they crisped him with acid. Odd thing is, nobody’s come forward to say who did it yet. I don’t know what to do mate, it’s crippling me up. I’m stuck in here and I need to be out there finding whoever did this.’

      ‘You’ve no idea who?’

      ‘I’m racking me head and no one comes to mind; but in saying that, everyone comes to mind. You’ve got no fucking friends in this business. My son needs me. I want to get out and put me ear to the ground. Get it sorted and be there for him. And then the other thing doing me nut in is …’

      Freddie paused and glanced at Eddie, deciding if he should confide in him. But there was no need, the look in his eyes seemed to give Eddie the clue he needed to guess. ‘You worried about Tasha?’

      Freddie shrugged his shoulders as he pictured the way Tasha had walked away from him in the hospital. ‘A bit. I dunno, she seems different somehow. I know it’s hard on her me being in here, but I’ve done bird before and she never behaved the way she is doing now. You know, stuff like not answering my calls, cancelling visits. I asked her where she was when Ray-Ray was attacked; she couldn’t give me an answer. I’m at a loss mate and I don’t want me brain imagining things which might not be true. But I know she’s angry with me. Blames me for what happened. And a woman scorned and all that …’ Freddie trailed off, slightly embarrassed.

      Eddie gave a wry smile. ‘Seriously? You’re asking me? I’m not exactly the best person to get marriage counselling from.’

      Freddie blinked then leaned back in his chair roaring with laughter, remembering the reason Eddie Davidson was doing life.

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