Always and Forever. Cathy Kelly

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      ‘That spa they were working on near the old Delaney place is opening up next week,’ Paula said. ‘I don’t know who bought it but they’ve had builders working like madmen, according to my mother – she and her rambling club are there every week for their mountain walk. It’s going to be all holistic, with yoga rooms, hot stone therapy and aromatherapy.’

      ‘I wouldn’t mind some of that hot stone thingy,’ moaned Mary. ‘I wish I had time for it…’

      ‘Why not?’ asked Paula. ‘We could do it soon. If they’re new, they’ll have special offers, and they’re bound to have pregnancy stuff. Special massages and treatments.’

      ‘Right, I’ll check it out,’ said Daisy, fired up by this new idea.

      Today was a day for plans. She’d phoned several fertility clinics today and she had news for Alex. Exciting news. She’d made an appointment for them both with one of the clinics. The only problem was that the appointment wasn’t for several weeks. She’d go mad with anticipation until then. A spa day with the girls was just what she needed to look forward to in the meantime.

      

      Daisy arrived home at seven, swinging the plastic bag of Mary’s self-help books because she had to flick through them some time. The first thing she spotted was Alex’s briefcase sitting on the walnut floor in the hall. What caught her eye was the flash of turquoise peeping out of the black leather folds. A Tiffany gift bag. She considered a quick peek to see what Alex had bought her and then thought better of it.

      Imagine if he’d bought her a diamond as big as a marble for their engagement and she’d have to spend the rest of her life knowing that she’d looked before he’d produced it. How did you and Dad get engaged? the kids would ask, and she’d have either to lie or say, ‘I stuck my big nose into his briefcase and found the ring, so I knew then…’ Not the romantic story she’d like. Anyway, it couldn’t be an engagement ring. They’d discussed that – they didn’t need marriage to cement their relationship.

      She yelled a cheery hello and Alex rushed from the bathroom, looking a bit pale. ‘Dodgy stomach,’ he said by way of greeting, then planted a speedy kiss on her cheek.

      ‘Is that all the welcome I’m getting?’ Daisy joked, following him into the bedroom where he began rapidly undressing, throwing his jacket and tie onto the silken caramel throw on their king-size bed. ‘Oh-oh, this is the welcome…’

      Halfway through pulling off his shirt, Alex grimaced. ‘Honey, if you knew the weekend I’ve had…Those people wouldn’t spend Christmas. I am so shattered. And the hotel wasn’t as good as the last one.’

      ‘Poor love.’ She held out her arms to him, and for a minute he relaxed against her and laid his head on her shoulder.

      Then, he moved away and finished undressing, before putting on jeans and a sweatshirt.

      Daisy sat cross-legged on the end of the bed.

      ‘I wanted to talk to you,’ she began. ‘It’s OK,’ she laughed, seeing his eyes widen, ‘I haven’t been fired and I haven’t crashed the car! It’s about the baby, our baby. Oh, Alex, we’ve waited so long – let’s do something about it.’ She smiled, having saved the best till last. ‘I did some research today and phoned a couple of fertility clinics. With most of them, you’ve got to wait about a month for an appointment but the Avalon – I read about it in the paper and it’s brilliant, although it’s one of the more expensive – had literally just had a cancellation. They can see us on Friday three weeks at twelve fifteen.’ Her eyes shone with excitement. ‘Isn’t that fantastic? Please say you can make it.’

      Alex, frozen with one black sock on and one off, stared at her.

      ‘We’ve been waiting for years, Alex. One before you got sick and two since.’

      He flinched. She knew he hated being reminded about his illness.

      ‘We’ve got to do something before I run out of time. I need to know why I’m not getting pregnant. I want a baby.’ Even saying it made her feel emotional. ‘And I know you do too. It’s what we’ve wanted for so long, and now it’s the right time.’

      She held out a hand to him and, his expression unreadable, he took it, sitting down on the bed beside her.

      ‘I don’t know what to say.’

      ‘You don’t have to say anything,’ Daisy rushed in, terrified that he’d say that he didn’t want a baby that much after all. ‘Alex, I think that’s our problem: we think and plan and with some things in life, you can’t think and plan. They should just happen. We’ve been waiting for the right time to have a baby and it’s now.’ Please agree with me, she pleaded silently.

      ‘I don’t know,’ he repeated.

      ‘Please, Alex. It’s so important to me and I don’t think we should wait any longer,’ she added softly.

      ‘I can’t believe you’ve set up a meeting with a fertility clinic without asking me first, Daisy.’

      Daisy breathed again. At least he hadn’t said no. It was a start. Shock she was prepared for. Men didn’t like asking for help with directions when they were driving: you’d need to multiply that behaviour by ten to recreate how most men would feel about having to produce sperm in a cup in some anonymous room to make their partner pregnant.

      She tried again. ‘I’m sorry. I know it’s a big step and it can be hard on couples. I’ve read all the articles about fertility treatments.’ Going through the mill of fertility treatment had broken up many couples. But it wouldn’t do that to them, Daisy vowed. All she had to do was convince him. ‘We can do it, Alex. Please.’

      There was doubt written all over Alex’s face. But he hadn’t said no.

      ‘All we have to do is go this one time and see what they say,’ she offered. ‘And if you hate the idea, well, we can talk some more…’ With this olive branch extended, he couldn’t say no. ‘OK, we’ll stop talking about it. You need to think.’

      Yes, stop haranguing him. Let him think about it. She changed the subject.

      ‘Hey, want to tell me what else you were doing in London besides staying in a horrible hotel and ferrying rich, stingy people around?’ she teased, thinking of the Tiffany bag. ‘I can see you’ve been shopping. Anything you want to tell me?’

      ‘Daisy…’ he began and stopped.

      ‘Sorry, I ruined the surprise, did I?’ She was contrite. ‘But it’s not my birthday for ages. I thought it was some fun present, although nothing from Tiffany’s could be strictly classed as purely fun. Serious fun!’

      He looked blank.

      ‘The Tiffany bag?’

      Comprehension dawned.

      ‘Was it for something else?’ It couldn’t be an engagement ring? No, of course not. ‘Our anniversary’s not just yet,’ she said quickly.

      Alex shook his head as he left the room. ‘No.’

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