Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows: A hilarious and heartwarming novel. Balli Jaswal Kaur

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СКАЧАТЬ and gave it a squeeze. She leaned closer to him and gave him a kiss. With her hands, she also moved down—’

      ‘Okay that’s enough,’ Nikki said. She took the story from Sheena and told her to have a seat. All of the women in the class were giggling except Tarampal, whose face was buried in her book. Nikki scanned the page. A sentence caught her eye: His throbbing organ was the colour and size of an aubergine, and as she gripped it with her hands and guided it towards her mouth, he became so excited that his knees began to shake. Nikki gasped and dropped the pages on the desk.

      The women were laughing loudly now, and their voices had begun to echo down the corridor. They reached the doorway of Kulwinder Kaur, who turned to listen but the sounds just as quickly settled down.

      ‘What’s the matter?’ Sheena asked.

      ‘This is not the type of story I had in mind,’ Nikki said.

      ‘You can’t be too surprised. You read stories like this yourself,’ Manjeet said. ‘You bought us an entire book of them.’

      ‘I bought the book as a joke for my sister!’ That said, Red Velvet had graduated from the charity shop bag to Nikki’s bedside table, from where she had no intentions of removing it.

      ‘I don’t get the joke. Were you supposed to buy her a different book?’ Preetam wondered.

      ‘She’s a bit reserved,’ Nikki said. ‘I thought the stories would remind her that she needed to lighten up, that’s all.’ Were the widows smirking? They appeared to be challenging her. She cleared her throat. ‘I think we’re done with stories for now.’

      The women groaned when Nikki presented the alphabet chart. ‘Today we’ll review consonants.’

      ‘Oh, not that bloody thing,’ Arvinder said. ‘A for apple, B for boy? Don’t treat me like a child, Nikki.’

      ‘Actually “A” is a vowel. Remember? What are some other vowels?’

      Arvinder scowled and said nothing. The other widows stared back blankly as well.

      ‘Come on, ladies. These are important.’

      ‘Last time you said we could do storytelling during these lessons,’ Preetam protested.

      ‘Right. I probably shouldn’t have said that. The fact is, I was hired to teach you all to write. I need to honour that promise.’ She glanced once more at the pages on the desk. If Kulwinder knew about this story, she’d accuse her of deliberately setting the women on the wrong path.

      ‘Why don’t you like Sheena’s story?’ Preetam asked. ‘I thought modern girls prided themselves on being open-minded.’

      ‘She doesn’t like it because she’s just like everybody else,’ Arvinder said. ‘All those people who say, “Take no notice of those widows. Without their husbands, they’re irrelevant.”’

      ‘That’s not what I think of you,’ Nikki protested, although Arvinder’s observation was not far off the mark. She had certainly expected these widows to be more impressionable than they turned out to be.

      ‘We’d be invisible in India,’ Arvinder said. ‘I suppose it makes no difference that we’re in England. You must think it’s wrong of us to discuss these things because we shouldn’t be thinking of them.’

      ‘I’m not saying your story was wrong. It was just unexpected.’

      ‘Why?’ Sheena challenged. ‘Because our husbands are gone? Let me tell you, Nikki, we have plenty of experience with desire.’

      ‘We talk about it all the time too,’ Manjeet said. ‘People see us and assume that we’re just filling our empty evenings with gossip but how much of that can one do? It’s far more fun to discuss the things we miss.’

      ‘Or what we were never given in the first place,’ Arvinder said dryly.

      Laughter rippled through the classroom. This time the noise pierced Kulwinder’s concentration just as she was about to solve a row in her sudoku puzzle.

      ‘Keep your voices down,’ Nikki pleaded.

      ‘Come on, Nikki,’ Preetam urged. ‘This will be fun. I’ve got a story brewing in my mind. A more satisfying series finale to my favourite television drama.’

      ‘Do Kapil and Anya finally get together?’ Manjeet asked.

      ‘Oh, and how,’ Preetam said.

      ‘There are stories about men and women that I tell myself when I’m lying awake at night,’ Manjeet said. ‘It’s better than counting sheep or taking Rescue Remedy. It helps me to relax.’

      ‘I’m sure it does,’ Sheena said, raising an eyebrow. The women burst out laughing again.

      ‘Even Tarampal has some stories, I’m sure,’ said Arvinder.

      ‘You leave me out of this,’ Tarampal warned.

      Suddenly, the door of the classroom swung open. Kulwinder Kaur stood with her arms crossed over her chest. ‘What is going on here?’ she demanded. ‘I can hear the commotion all the way from my office.’

      The women were silent with shock for a moment and then Preetam Kaur said, ‘Sorry. We were laughing because I couldn’t pronounce a word.’

      ‘Yes,’ Arvinder said. ‘Nikki said this word in English which means “aubergine” but we couldn’t say it.’ The women tittered again. Nikki nodded and smiled at Kulwinder as if to say, ‘What can you do?’ She placed her palm flat on the story on her desk.

      It was fortunate that Tarampal was sitting so close to the door. Her workbook was wide open and looked very legitimate. Nikki just hoped she wouldn’t say anything. She still looked gravely unhappy with the women.

      ‘I need to talk to you outside for a moment,’ Kulwinder said to Nikki.

      ‘Sure,’ Nikki said. ‘Sheena, can you please write the alphabet on the board? I’ll test you all when I come back.’ She shot Sheena a stern look and followed Kulwinder outside.

      Kulwinder fixed Nikki with a stare. ‘I hired you to teach these women, not stand around telling jokes,’ she said. ‘I don’t know what they’re doing but it doesn’t look like learning.’

      Through the window, Nikki could see the women staring at the board and Sheena dutifully writing the letters. Tarampal was hunched over her desk, working her pencil hard into the paper. She looked up to check the roundness of her D against Sheena’s on the board. ‘Nobody said learning couldn’t be fun,’ Nikki said.

      ‘This job requires a degree of respect and professionalism. Your respect is clearly questionable because you’ll smoke on temple grounds. I have high doubts about your professional standards.’

      ‘I’m handling the job just fine,’ Nikki said. ‘I’m doing exactly what you asked of me.’

      ‘If you were, then I wouldn’t have to remind you to keep the noise down. You realize, don’t you, that any small misstep means that these classes could be shut down? As it is, СКАЧАТЬ