A Brand New Me: The hilarious romantic comedy about one year of first dates. Shari Low

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       The Daily Globe, Female Section, 20 February

       Interview with Zara Delta, Sage to the Stars, by Camilla Beaufort-Dodds

      The first thing that strikes me about Zara Delta is her inner glow–but not quite in the way you might imagine. I soon discover that the inner glow is caused by two small battery-operated green light-bulbs that she has placed within her cheeks, in order, she informs us, to harness the powers of ‘light energy’–a practice she claims calms her mind and rejuvenates her inner life-force. She made no comment as to whether or not she was concerned about the potential health hazards that could be caused by holding two live batteries in her gums.

      Ever the professional, however, I see that she has had the foresight to colour-coordinate her flashing cheeks with her dress of choice today–an elaborate green kaftan adorned with what she informs me are ancient Masai symbols, a garment that was gifted to her by the tribal head of a small village during a recent private trip to Africa.

      Thankfully, Zara removes the light-bulbs before our conversation begins; however, I do confess to being slightly alarmed when she suddenly clenches her eyes shut and the tone of her voice plunges dramatically.

       ‘ You’ve had a recent loss,’ she informs me in hushed tones. ‘And it involves…it involves an animal…a very dear, beloved animal.’

      It seems prudent to confirm that yes, only a few weeks before, we had indeed lost Crackers, the horse on which I’d cantered since childhood. I was deeply comforted when Ms Delta assured me that he was in a better place where he could gallop freely, unburdened by the pains of old age.

       Surely such perception and insight into the lives of others must be a devastatingly emotional burden to bear?

      Zara nods wearily, her frame slumped in exhaustion after our opening exchange.

       ‘Sometimes it is difficult,’ she agrees, ‘but it’s also a very special gift that I feel so privileged to have been given. And I feel it is my duty to use that gift to improve the lives of others.’

      She pauses to take a sip from a wooden clay pot on her desk, containing a mix of herbs and cleansing roots–a recipe, she tells me, that she discovered many years ago while living among the people of the Andes.

       ‘That’s why I’ve decided to write my latest book–a relationship guide that will revolutionise the modern woman’s approach to searching for their perfect partner. Today’s women have lives that are busier than ever–they’re juggling careers, hectic social lives, personal fitness and family obligations, leaving them little time to focus on what really matters: finding love. This is where I will help. I will give them a foolproof plan that will identify their needs, and then show them how to fulfil their dreams. This book will, quite literally, change lives.’

      Sadly, our conversation is brought to a premature end by an assistant who interrupts to inform Zara that a certain A-list household name needs her urgent advice. As she rises, she re-inserts her inner glow and hugs me tightly.

       ‘I’m so sorry to cut this short, but that’s another consequence of this gift–I have to go to those who need me.’

      And if you are one of the thousands of women who need Zara Delta, her book will be available in all good bookstores in December.