Nobody’s Son: Part 3 of 3: All Alex ever wanted was a family of his own. Cathy Glass

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СКАЧАТЬ you like us all to come?’ Debbie asked, putting away her pad and pen.

      ‘No. I think it could be a bit overwhelming for Alex, as he’s feeling wobbly.’ This was sensitive of her. Most children in care take part in reviews far bigger than this one, with all the attention focused on them. They do incredibly well to cope with it.

      ‘That’s a lovely picture, Alex,’ we heard Lorraine say as she went in. ‘Can you tell me about it?’ There was no reply. ‘Do you like art at school?’ she asked. ‘Is that one of your favourite subjects?’ If Alex replied, it was too quiet for us to hear. ‘Do you remember who I am?’ Lorraine then tried, ‘We’ve met a few times before at your previous reviews.’ Nothing.

      There was silence and then Paula ran into the living room, looking concerned, and jumped onto my lap. ‘There’s a strange lady in there talking to Alex,’ she said. Jill and Debbie laughed.

      ‘I know, love,’ I said. ‘It’s OK. Alex knows her.’

      We heard Lorraine compliment both boys on their artwork and then she returned to the living room. ‘Alex doesn’t want to talk to me today,’ she said easily. She picked up her bag and Debbie and Jill stood.

      The three of them went into the kitchen to say goodbye to Alex and Adrian, and then Paula and I saw them to the front door, where I helped them into their coats. Once they’d gone, we returned to Adrian and Alex. ‘You’ve all done well,’ I said. They’d been amusing themselves for over an hour. ‘Thank you for your cooperation. I was thinking we might go out for lunch and then to the cinema this afternoon. There’s the new Walt Disney film showing.’

      ‘Yes!’ Adrian cried. ‘Chicken nuggets and chips for me!’ Going to a fast-food restaurant was a treat for my children, as we didn’t go that often.

      ‘Chicken nuggets and chips for me,’ Paula agreed.

      While Alex managed a small, indifferent nod.

      I’d suggested this outing as being seated in a restaurant and then the cinema offered less opportunity for Alex to run away. It was a pity I had to think this way, but I needed to be practical.

      It was the end of the half-term holiday, so families were making the most of the last day and the restaurant and cinema were busy. Alex was quiet as usual, looking around and taking it in but not saying much, while Adrian and Paula chatted excitedly as they ate, and also after the film. I think Alex liked the film as much as he liked anything at present, but as soon as we were home he went straight up to his room and began throwing things in anger.

      ‘Not again,’ Adrian sighed, and he took Paula through to the living room to look after her.

      Once I’d calmed Alex down and he’d had a little cry, I asked him why he’d suddenly become angry after a nice day out. I was puzzled as well as concerned.

      ‘All the other kids in McDonald’s and the cinema were with their families,’ he said gloomily. ‘But I was with a foster carer. I should have been with my family.’

      ‘And that’s why you’re upset?’

      He nodded and I wiped his eyes.

      I knew that Rosemary and Edward had promised Alex lots of outings over the half-term holiday, but his upset wasn’t about missing those activities as missing the family he’d been promised. I comforted him as best I could and said that when we missed something we often noticed it more in others and it seemed that their lives were better than ours. I couldn’t offer any reassurance about being with a foster carer because when Alex left it would be to go to another foster carer, albeit a long-term one. Having foster parents rather than a mum and dad is something many children in permanent care have to come to terms with, and often after a while they think of their foster family as their own family and call their carers Mum and Dad. Thankfully, as before, once Alex’s anger was spent he let me give him a hug.

      The following week was shaky at school and at home for Alex. Miss Cork saw me with a brief update either before or after school on most days. She was very kind and caring, but acknowledged that the half-term break had done little to improve Alex’s behaviour, and he remained quiet and withdrawn with outbursts of anger at school – just as he was at home. She apologized for not being able to attend Alex’s review and said she’d sent Debbie a copy of Alex’s latest personal education plan. I appreciated that she and the other staff were making allowances for Alex’s behaviour (as we were at home), but if he didn’t do his work in class then he finished it at home.

      Halfway through the week Alex started bedwetting – a sure sign of stress. I reassured him that it didn’t matter, quietly changed his sheets and tried again to talk to him about his worries, but all I got in return was a resigned shrug. Aware that on top of all his feelings of rejection and being unloved and unwanted he was probably also feeling very insecure, I told him that he wouldn’t have to move from me until Debbie was sure she’d found him the right family. But to be honest my words sounded feeble even to me, for how many times had something similar been said to him before? He shrugged, unconvinced.

      On Thursday morning Jill telephoned to see how Alex was and also to advise me that Debbie had arranged the adoption disruption meeting for the following Tuesday at 11 a.m. I had been invited and Jill would be going too. ‘You’ll need to prepare yourself for meeting Rosemary again,’ she said. ‘And possibly Edward, if he can get the time off work.’

      ‘They’re going?’ I asked, slightly surprised.

      ‘Yes. Rosemary was reluctant to begin with, but Debbie explained that it wasn’t going to be a witch hunt. That the social services wanted to learn lessons from what had happened to avoid something similar happening again.’

      ‘All right. I’ll have to arrange childcare for Paula. She’s not at nursery on a Tuesday.’

      ‘Thank you. The meeting is at the council offices. Shall I see you in reception?’

      ‘Yes, please.’

      I noted the time of the meeting in my diary and then straight away telephoned my parents, who were free that day and happy to come over and look after Paula. They would stay until Adrian and Alex came out of school so they could see them, although Mum understood that Alex might not want much to do with them.

      The remainder of the week and then the weekend continued in much the same vein. Alex was very quiet or angry; there was nothing in between. I asked him again if he would like to have a friend home, but he said despondently that he didn’t have any friends. This wasn’t true, he had friends at school, but I knew from Miss Cork that he wasn’t having much to do with them at present. Alex’s unhappiness and low self-esteem was blighting all aspects of his life, and despite my efforts he didn’t seem to be improving. I kept a note of my concerns and incidents of his anger in my log so that I could update Debbie (and Jill), and I hoped it might help bring Alex’s referral to CAMHS forward. At what point did his case become urgent?

      On Sunday evening as Alex climbed into bed he suddenly asked me, ‘Was it because I wanted to learn the guitar?’

      I hadn’t a clue what he was talking about.

      ‘Sorry, love, what do you mean? Are you going to learn the guitar at school?’

      He shook his head vehemently. ‘When my dad – I mean Edward – said I should learn a musical instrument I said I wanted to learn the guitar so I could be in a boy band. He laughed and said that I needed to learn a classical СКАЧАТЬ