Mind Body Bowl: Think, move and eat your way to a more balanced life. Annie Clarke

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      Think how often you are sitting with a friend and your phone beeps on the table in front of you. You distract yourself for a moment by looking at your phone and suddenly you are caught up in a totally different conversation. You might still be engaging with the person you are with, but are you really being present? How much of your attention are you really giving that person?

      I remember vowing to commit fully to the company I’m in as much as possible after a friend once commented on my lack of attention on one particular occasion. It stuck with me, and while there are, of course, still times when I don’t manage to keep it up totally, I have come up with a few things that I find make it easier to give my attention more fully to the physical (as opposed to virtual) company I’m in.

      It is OK to be busy. If you are meeting a friend and an email needs to be sent in order to prevent your mind from wandering mid-conversation, try saying something like, ‘Bear with me just two minutes and then you have my full attention,’ and really mean it. Everyone deserves undivided attention, but especially after politely waiting for you to get whatever needs to be addressed out of the way in order to follow through with your statement of commitment.

      If you are in the above situation and there is a call that you really cannot miss or delay, then make that known to the person you are with from the beginning. If you tell them that you are expecting an important call and ask if they mind if you slip away to answer it, then at least you have shown them some consideration.

      Most of us spend so much time with our phones glued to our hands. All it takes is a flick of the eyes towards your screen mid-meeting and you can lose your train of thought, and you appear disinterested in your immediate company. Whenever you are in the presence of another person (socially, for work or otherwise), keeping your phone away from the table is a really easy way to avoid distraction.

       Be Kind – Starting with Yourself

      We need to get out of the negative mindset where we tell ourselves we aren’t good enough, don’t look or feel good enough, don’t try hard enough, and so on. People are often a lot more cruel to themselves than they would ever dream of being to other people. We spend so much time criticizing ourselves, and this can really intensify negative subconscious thought processes.

      If you think about the pep talks you give your friends when they have their confidence knocked, or all the lovely things you might say to someone else – well, you deserve to hear those things, too. It is a huge step for a lot of people, but if you can find a way to be kinder to yourself, it can make a huge difference to how you see and cope with certain situations.

      Of course, there are many ways you can show yourself kindness, and how we look after our bodies and minds is a big part of this.

      Tools such as yoga and meditation can be a really great way not only to take care of yourself but also to delve a little deeper into understanding what you can do for yourself.

      For example, there are two sets of ethical values in yoga, known as the Yamas and the Niyamas, which offer moral codes to live by. The first of the Yamas is Ahimsa, or non-violence. Yoga is a non-violent practice but sometimes we try to push ourselves or get frustrated within our practice. Letting go of expectation and judgement of ourselves and approaching our practice with kindness and compassion is learning to adopt the concept of Ahimsa.

      This is something that we can then apply to other areas of our lives. It seems so obvious to practise non-violence towards other people or beings, but how often do we include ourselves in this?

       ‘It is so incredibly freeing to let go of expectation and judgement towards yourself and to truly accept every part of your being.’

      As soon as you start being kinder to yourself, you can alleviate some of the negativity that can so easily dampen your true nature. It is incredibly freeing to let go of expectation and judgement towards yourself and to truly accept every part of your being. I imagine there are few people who can say they have detached entirely from personal criticism. But it isn’t about being perfect; it is much more about taking steps towards acceptance in order to help us to grow as individuals.

      Comparing ourselves to others is the root of so much social anxiety. One of the things I am learning is that the world of social media really is a crazy one. On the one hand, it gives us the opportunity to connect with a broad number of people from all over the world, and opens us up to new ideas and sources of inspiration. On the other hand, we are then exposed to all of these people whose profiles aren’t necessarily a true reflection of reality. It is inevitable that we then have feelings of insecurity or dissatisfaction with our own lives, when compared to enhanced versions of other people.

      The best person to compare yourself to is surely yourself. Rather than trying to match up to someone else, being the best version of you is such a wonderful way to focus your energy. Accepting who you are and focusing on that rather than on comparing yourself to others can be a healthy and positive thing to work on.

       Learning to Look Out for Number One

      Many of us spend our whole lives worrying about others, trying to fix their problems and even taking responsibility for the happiness of friends and family. However, taking the weight of others on your shoulders can cause you to overlook taking care of yourself.

      We are all responsible for our own happiness and we have to find it within ourselves, rather than constantly search for it in external sources. In the same way, while you can have a positive impact on other people you cannot take responsibility for someone else’s happiness. They hold that responsibility themselves. So in a sense you have to learn to become a little bit selfish and ensure that you get enough of what you need to be content in your life.

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