Lauren Weisberger 5-Book Collection: The Devil Wears Prada, Revenge Wears Prada, Everyone Worth Knowing, Chasing Harry Winston, Last Night at Chateau Marmont. Lauren Weisberger

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СКАЧАТЬ puking long enough to fall asleep, and I’m awakened by a scarily perky woman who says she works in HR at Elias-Clark. And she’s looking for you. At seven-fifteen in the freakin’ morning. So call her back. And tell her to lose my number.’

      ‘Sorry, Lil. I gave them your number because I don’t have a cell yet. I can’t believe she called so early! I wonder if that’s good or bad?’ I took the portable and crept out of the bedroom, quietly closing the door as I went.

      ‘Whatev. Good luck. Let me know how it goes. Just not in the next couple hours, OK?’

      ‘Will do. Thanks. And sorry.’

      I looked at my watch again and couldn’t believe I was about to have a business conversation. I put on a pot of coffee and waited until it had finished brewing and brought a cup to the couch. It was time to call. I had no choice.

      ‘Hello, this is Andrea Sachs,’ I said firmly, although my voice betrayed me with its deep, raspy, just-woke-up-ness.

      ‘Andrea, good morning! Hope I didn’t call too early,’ Sharon sang, her own voice full of sunshine. ‘I’m sure I didn’t, my dear, especially since you’ll have to be an early bird soon enough! I have some very good news. Miranda was very impressed with you and said she’s very much looking forward to working with you. Isn’t that wonderful? Congratulations, dear. How does it feel to be Miranda Priestly’s new assistant? I imagine that you’re just—’

      My head was spinning. I tried to pull myself off the couch to get some more coffee, water, anything that might clear my head and turn her words back into English, but I only sank further into the cushions. Was she asking me if I would like the job? Or was she making an official offer? I couldn’t make sense of anything she’d just said, anything other than the fact that Miranda Priestly had liked me.

      ‘—delighted with this news. Who wouldn’t be, right? So let’s see, you can start on Monday, right? She’ll actually be on vacation then, but that’s a great time to start. Give you a little time to get acquainted with the other girls – oh, they’re all such sweeties!’ Acquainted? What? Starting Monday? Sweetie girls? It was refusing to make sense in my addled brain. I picked a single phrase that I’d understood and responded to it.

      ‘Um, well, I don’t think I can start Monday,’ I said quietly, hoping I’d indeed said something coherent. Saying those words had shocked me into semiwakefulness. I’d walked through the Elias-Clark doors for the very first time the day before, and was being awakened from a deep sleep to listen to someone tell me that I was to begin work in three days. It was Friday – at seven o’clock in the goddamn morning – and they wanted me to start on Monday? It began to feel like everything was spiraling out of control. Why the ridiculous rush? Was this woman so important that she needed me so badly? And why exactly did Sharon herself sound so scared of Miranda?

      Starting Monday would be impossible. I had nowhere to live. Home base was my parents’ house in Avon, the place I’d grudgingly moved back to after graduation, and where most of my things remained while I’d traveled during the summer. All of my interview-related clothes were piled on Lily’s couch. I’d been trying to do the dishes and empty her ashtrays and buy pints of Häagen-Dazs so she wouldn’t hate me, but I thought it only fair to give her a much-needed break from my unending presence, so I camped out on weekends at Alex’s. That put all of my weekend going-out clothes and fun makeup at Alex’s in Brooklyn, my laptop and mismatched suits at Lily’s Harlem studio, and the rest of my life at my parents’ house in Avon. I had no apartment in New York and didn’t particularly understand how everyone knew that Madison Avenue ran uptown but Broadway ran down. I didn’t actually know what uptown was. And she wanted me to start Monday?

      ‘Um, well, I don’t think I can do this Monday because I don’t currently live in New York,’ I quickly explained, clutching the phone, ‘and I’ll need a couple days to find an apartment and buy some furniture and move.’

      ‘Oh, well, then. I suppose Wednesday would be OK,’ she sniffed.

      After a few more minutes of haggling, we finally settled on November 17, a week from Monday. That left me a little more than eight days to find and furnish a home in one of the craziest real estate markets in the world.

      I hung up and flopped back down on the couch. My hands were trembling, and I let the phone drop to the floor. A week. I had a week to start working at the job I’d just accepted as Miranda Priestly’s assistant. But, wait! That’s what was bothering me … I hadn’t actually accepted the job because it hadn’t even been officially offered. Sharon hadn’t even had to utter the words ‘We’d like to make you an offer,’ since she took it for granted that anyone with some semblance of intelligence would obviously just accept. No one had so much as mentioned the word ‘salary.’ I almost laughed out loud. Was this some sort of war tactic they’d perfected? Wait until the victim was finally deep into REM sleep after an extremely stressful day and then throw some life-altering news at her? Or had she just assumed that it would be wasted time and breath to do something as mundane as make a job offer and wait for acceptance, considering that this was Runway magazine? Sharon had just assumed that of course I’d jump all over the chance, that I’d be thrilled with the opportunity. And, as they always were at Elias-Clark, she was right. It had all happened so fast, so frenetically, that I hadn’t had time to debate and deliberate as usual. But I had a good feeling that this was an opportunity I’d be crazy to turn down, that this could actually be a great first step to getting to The New Yorker. I had to try it. I was lucky to have it.

      Newly energized, I gulped the rest of my coffee, brewed another cup for Alex, and took a quick, hot shower. When I went back into his room, he was just sitting up.

      ‘You’re dressed already?’ he asked, fumbling for the tiny wire-rimmed glasses he was blind without. ‘Did someone call this morning, or did I dream that?’

      ‘Not a dream,’ I said, crawling back under the covers even though I was wearing jeans and a turtleneck sweater. I was careful not to let my wet hair soak his pillows. ‘That was Lily. The HR woman from Elias-Clark called her place because that’s the number I gave them. And guess what?’

      ‘You got the job?’

      ‘I got the job!’

      ‘Oh, come here!’ he said, sitting up and hugging me. ‘I’m so proud of you! That’s great news, it really is.’

      ‘So you really think it’s a good opportunity? I know we talked about it, but they didn’t even give me a chance to decide. She just assumed that I’d want the job.’

      ‘It’s an amazing opportunity. Fashion isn’t the worst thing on earth – maybe it’ll even be interesting.’

      I rolled my eyes.

      ‘OK, so maybe that’s going a little far. But with Runway on your résumé and a letter from this Miranda woman, and maybe even a few clips by the time you’re done, hell, you can do anything. The New Yorker will be beating down your door.’

      ‘I hope you’re right, I really do.’ I jumped up and starting throwing my things in my backpack. ‘Is it still OK if I borrow your car? The sooner I get home, the sooner I can get back. Not that it really matters, because I’m moving to New York. It’s official!’

      Since Alex went home to Westchester twice a week to babysit his little brother when his mom had to work late, his mom had given him her old car to keep in the city. But he wouldn’t be needing it until Tuesday, and I’d be back before then. I had been planning to go home that weekend anyway, СКАЧАТЬ