Lauren Weisberger 5-Book Collection: The Devil Wears Prada, Revenge Wears Prada, Everyone Worth Knowing, Chasing Harry Winston, Last Night at Chateau Marmont. Lauren Weisberger

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СКАЧАТЬ today and you can’t so much as leave work to come look at this place, but you can’t even bother to say yes or no? What am I—’ Lily had reached her breaking point and I totally understood, but there was nothing I could do except hang up on her. She was screaming so loud into the phone that it was reverberating in the quiet office, and Miranda was standing less than five feet away. I was so frustrated, I wanted to grab the PR coordinator and hit the ladies’ room and cry with her. Or maybe if we worked together we could throw Miranda into a toilet stall and tighten that Hermès scarf that hung loosely around her skinny neck. Would I hold her down or pull? Or perhaps it’d be more effective to just shove the damn thing down her throat and watch her gasp for air and—

      ‘Ahn-dre-ah!’ Her voice was clipped, steely. ‘What did I ask you for a mere five minutes ago?’ Shit! The sundae. I’d forgotten the sundae. ‘Is there a particular reason why you’re still sitting there instead of doing your job? Is this your idea of a joke? Did I do or say something to indicate that I wasn’t entirely serious? Did I? Did I?’ Her blue eyes were bulging out of her face, and although she hadn’t fully raised her voice yet, of course, she was coming awfully close. I opened my mouth to speak but heard Emily talking instead.

      ‘Miranda, I’m so sorry. It’s my fault. I asked Andrea to answer the phone because I thought it might be Caroline or Cassidy and I was on the other line ordering that shirt from Prada you wanted. Andrea was just on her way out. I’m sorry, and it won’t happen again.’

      Miracle of miracles! The Perfect One had spoken, and in my defense, no less.

      Miranda looked momentarily mollified. ‘Well, all right then. Get my sundae now, Andrea.’ And with that, she walked in her office and picked up the phone, where she promptly started cooing to B-DAD.

      I looked at Emily, but she was pretending to work. I shot her a one-word e-mail. Why? I wrote.

      Because I wasn’t entirely sure she wasn’t going to fire you, and I don’t really feel like training someone new, she wrote back instantly. I left to go in search of this perfect sundae and called Lily from my cell phone as soon as the elevator hit the lobby.

      ‘I’m sorry, I really am. It’s just that—’

      ‘Look, I don’t really have time for this,’ Lily said flatly. ‘I think you’re overreacting just a little bit, don’t you? I mean, you can’t so much as say yes or no on the phone?’

      ‘It’s hard to explain, Lil, it’s just that—’

      ‘Forget it. I’ve got to run. I’ll call you if we get it. Not that you really care either way.’

      I tried to protest, but she’d hung up. Dammit! It wasn’t fair to expect Lily to understand when I would’ve thought I was ridiculous a mere four months earlier. It really wasn’t fair to send her all over Manhattan in search of an apartment we could both share when I wouldn’t even take her phone calls, but what choice did I have?

      When she answered one of my calls right after midnight, she told me we got the apartment.

      ‘That’s amazing, Lil. I can’t thank you enough. I swear I’ll make it up to you. I promise!’ And then I had a thought. Be spontaneous! Call an Elias car and get up to Harlem and thank your best friend in person. Yes, that was it! ‘Lil, are you home? I’m coming up to celebrate, OK?’

      I thought she’d be thrilled, but she was quiet. ‘Don’t bother,’ she said quietly. ‘I’ve got a bottle of So-Co and Tongue Ring Boy is here. I’ve got everything I want.’

      It stung, but I understood. Lily rarely got mad, but when she did, no one could talk her out of it until she was good and ready. I heard liquid swishing into a glass and ice clinking, and I heard her take a deep, long swig.

      ‘OK. But call me if you need anything, OK?’

      ‘Why? So you can sit in silence on the other end? No thanks.’

      ‘Lil—’

      ‘Don’t worry about me. I’m just fine.’ Another gulp. ‘I’ll talk to you later. And hey, congratulations to us.’

      ‘Yeah, congratulations to us,’ I repeated, but she’d already hung up once again.

      I’d called Alex on his cell to ask if I could go over to his place, but he didn’t sound as delighted to hear from me as I’d hoped.

      ‘Andy, you know I’d love to see you, but, well, I’m out with Max and the guys. You’re never really around during the week anymore, so I made plans to see them tonight.’

      ‘Oh, well, are you guys in Brooklyn or around here somewhere? I could come meet you?’ I asked, knowing that of course they were somewhere on the Upper East Side, probably very close to me, because that’s where all the other guys lived as well.

      ‘Listen, any other night that’d be great, but tonight is definitely just a guys’ night.’

      ‘Oh, sure, OK. I was going to meet Lily to celebrate the new apartment, but we, uh, sort of got in a fight. She doesn’t understand why I can’t really talk from work.’

      ‘Well, Andy, I have to say, sometimes I don’t totally understand, either. I mean, I know she’s a tough lady – trust me, I do – it just seems that you take everything pretty seriously when it comes to her, you know?’ He sounded like he was trying very hard to keep his tone accommodating and nonconfrontational.

      ‘Maybe that’s because I do!’ I shot back at him, pissed off at him for not wanting to see me and not begging me to go out with his friends and for taking Lily’s side even though she had a point and so did he. ‘It is my life, you know? My career. My future. What the hell am I supposed to do? Treat it like a joke?’

      ‘Andy, you’re twisting my words. You know that’s not what I meant.’

      But I was already screaming back – I couldn’t help myself. First Lily and now Alex? Both on top of Miranda, all day, every day? It was too much, and I wanted to cry but all I could do was yell.

      ‘A big fucking joke, huh? That’s what my job is to both of you! Oh, Andy, you work in fashion, how hard can it be?’ I mimicked, hating myself more with every passing second. ‘Well, excuse me if we can’t all be do-gooders or Ph.D. candidates! Excuse me if—’

      ‘Call me when you calm down,’ he stated. ‘I’m not going to listen to this anymore.’ And he hung up. Hung up! I waited for him to call back, but he never did, and by the time I’d finally fallen asleep, close to three, I hadn’t heard from either Alex or Lily.

      Now it was moving day – a full week later – and while neither was still visibly mad, neither seemed exactly the same either. There hadn’t been time to make amends in person with either one since we were in the middle of closing an issue, but I figured things would fall into place when Lily and I moved into our new apartment. Our shared apartment, where everything would go back to the way it was when we were in college and life was much more palatable.

      The movers finally came at eleven, and it took them all of nine minutes to disassemble my beloved bed and throw the pieces in back of their van. Mom and I hitched a ride with them over to my new building, where my dad and Alex were schmoozing with the doorman – who, bizarrely enough, was a dead ringer for John Galliano – with my boxes piled against a wall in the lobby.

      ‘Andy, СКАЧАТЬ