The Brightest Day, The Darkest Night. Brendan Graham

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СКАЧАТЬ her face it is the fairest,

      That ’ere the sun shone on.

      

      ‘… And for Bonnie Annie Laurie

      I’d lay down my head and die.’

      They all liked him Ellen knew, both North and South, as did she. He was truly beautiful, in so far as one could ascribe beauty to a youth. But for all his seventeen youthful years, he had a manly bearing. Looked all straight in the eye, neither seeking favour, nor giving it. Yet with that generosity of youth that the cynicism of older age – and war – had not yet destroyed.

      He sang as he looked. Clear voiced. Uninhibited by those present. Sang to ‘Annie Laurie’, as if she were there in the very room listening to him. And she was, Ellen knew, casting a glance towards Louisa. The girl’s white-bonnetted head was fixed on the boy. He did not look at her. He had no need to. The spirit within the song left his lips irrevocably bound for no other place than her.

      Ellen stood transfixed. The boy reminded her so much of herself. Before she lost the gift. The gift was not the singing itself – the mere outpouring of notes – but the thing within and above the singing. She could still sing – as a person might. But the gift was lost to her. The gift came with purity – purity of intent, purity of the art itself. Letting go of desire, of ambition for the voice – the instrument – to be admired, the singer to be praised. The voice was not the gift, but the gift could inhabit the voice … but not by right or by skill alone.

      The boy had the gift. Though he sang for Louisa, he did not sing to her. Then he had stopped before he had started it seemed, leaving them there suspended in the moment. The song, at one level, having passed them by. At another, having entered within, transcending them into some knowledge undefined by words or melody alone.

      The listeners came back before he did. Clapped loudly, recognising that they had been transported and were now returned. ‘Arisht,’ the Irish called. ‘One more, lad!’ both friend and foe alike, echoed.

      The boy just smiled, looked at Louisa, dropped his head slightly to gather himself and then looked at her again. Almost imperceptibly, she motioned her consent, the slightest tilt of her head towards him.

      ‘With your permission, ladies, I will dedicate this song to you all who daily raise us up.’

      Acclamation arose from all those assembled. Again he looked at the ground, waiting until the burr of noise had receded.

      ‘When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;

      When troubles come and my heart burdened be;

      Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,

      Until you come and sit awhile with me.’

      At the refrain, this time he looked directly at Louisa. She held his gaze, letting his sung words seep into her.

      ‘You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;

      You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

      I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

      You raise me up … to more than I can be.’

      All were hushed as the boy drew breath.

      ‘You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;

      You raise me up to walk on stormy seas;’

      This time they all joined in, raising their voices in the redemptive words. A chorus of broken angels but all fear lifted from them.

      ‘I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

      You raise me up … to more than I can be.’

      At the final line his gaze never removed from Louisa, the rapture on her daughter’s face provoking the opposite emotion in Ellen. When he finished there was again the hiatus, no one wanting to break the moment, steal wonder away.

      

      ‘We’ll give you that – you can sing you Rebs!’ Hercules O’Brien eventually ventured, nodding his block of a head in approval at the boy. Then looking at Ellen he called for ‘A soothing Irish voice to calm the storms of battle’.

      She resisted, didn’t want to follow the boy, break the spell he wove. Then the boy himself called her, ‘It would do us great honour. Mrs Lavelle – a parting song. A song some may not hear again … after tomorrow.’

      All knew what he meant. Some did not look at her … shuffled uneasily. Those that could – those recovered by her healing hands who, tomorrow would go out again – she could not refuse them. For some reason the pale and riderless horse flashed by her mind.

      She started falteringly, sang it to the boy. Her own favourite. Favourite of all whom she loved and who in turn had loved her.

      ‘Oh, my fair-haired boy, no more I’ll see,

      You walk the meadows green;

      Or hear your song run through the fields

      Like yon mountain stream …’

      She looked at the boy as she sang, something fiercely ominous in her, some darker shade of meaning she had not noticed before, now present in the words.

      ‘So take my hand and sing me now,

      Just one last merry tune …’

      His clear blue eyes never left hers as she sang her tune in answer to his.

      ‘Let no sad tear now stain your cheek,

      As we kiss our last goodbye;

      Think not upon when we might meet,

      My love my fair-haired boy …’

      They were all her fair-haired boys, all the crippled, the crutched, the maimed and the motherless. Some called her ‘Mother’ – and even when they didn’t, she knew she was their mother in-situ, the comforting words, the tender touch.

      ‘If not in life we’ll be as one,

      Then, in death we’ll be …’

      She did not mean to sadden them with thoughts of death but to comfort them. Death indeed would come to many here … maybe to Hercules O’Brien … maybe by the hand of Ol’ Alabarmy, his dancing partner. Perhaps death would dance with the shy Rhinelander. He had danced with her, as if it were the last waltz on this wounded earth. Or death could call time on the young fiddle player from East Tennessee. Or even, Ellen kept her eyes on the beautiful boy, to Jared Prudhomme, in love with her Louisa … and she with him.

      How, Ellen wondered, could anything other than the boy’s death solve Louisa’s dilemma?

      

      ‘And there will grow two hawthorn trees,

      Above my love and me,

      And they will reach up to the sky Intertwined

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