Bee Season. Myla Goldberg

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ that Sinna is the smarter one. Which just leaves Eliza, who spells CORRESPONDENCE with her eyes closed to avoid looking at three rows of students staring at her in disbelief.

      In Eliza’s fantasy she walks to the podium, which she is suddenly tall enough to see over, and begins speaking to a cafeteria suddenly filled to capacity.

       A few of you might know my name, but most of you don’t even recognize me. I know you, though. And what I’m about to say is as important to you as it is to me.

      It’s the lead-in to a speech from a particularly powerful after-school special. Eliza’s always thought it made a great beginning. No actual words come after that, but Eliza’s mouth keeps moving and the music swells. By the end, all the students are smiling with little tears in their eyes and Lindsay Halpern makes a place for Eliza at her table between her and Roger Pond.

      Eliza stands outside Saul’s closed study door, an envelope hot in her hand. She’s not sure this is a valid interruption. She’s not sick, nothing’s on fire, and the district bee isn’t until the weekend. But if she waits for her father to come out so she can hand it to him, it might be another two hours.

      Eliza considers waiting anyway. Perhaps her father will need to use the bathroom, or maybe he’ll get hungry for a snack. She puts her ear against the door but hears nothing. When she looks down she finds that her hands have unconsciously reopened the envelope and removed the letter. A few words are smeared now; the paper’s creases are fuzzed with wear. Eliza realizes for the first time that her last name is misspelled. She feels a sudden urge to tear the letter, burn it to ash, cram it down the disposal. Instead, she folds the letter back into thirds, licks the by now dissolved adhesive on the envelope’s flap, and shoves the letter through the crack beneath her father’s study door.

      Saul’s study is smaller than Eliza’s bedroom in that it lacks a closet, making it the smallest room in the house not counting bathrooms. Its perceived dimensions are diminished further by the bookshelves lining its walls and piles of notes in various stages of collapse layering the floor. Notebooks of various thicknesses and binding methods protrude above the thinner strata like steppingstones. The average paper density increases toward Saul’s desk, which emerges from the tumult like a piece of flotsam tossed by the paper tide. Saul’s desk spares no room for distracting doohickey or clever calendar, covered as it is by books and notes, loose and bound. On the wall directly above the desk, framed pictures of Mordecai M. Kaplan and Gershom Scholem provide inspiration. A small desk lamp serves as one of only two light sources, both unnatural. The room’s lack of windows is for the best since the bookshelves leave no room for them.

      In this room governed by disorder, the shelves are the exception to the entropic rule. Saul’s library is arranged alphabetically, recent paperbacks brushing spines with age-seasoned leather-bound volumes. English texts adjoin Hebrew and Yiddish. In Saul’s decision to mix languages, he has accorded privilege to a letter’s pronunciation over its ordinal placement. Thus, Hebrew writer Shmuel Yosef Agnon is in among the A’s alongside Aharon Appelfeld even though the Nobelist’s last name begins with an ayin and the novelist’s name begins with an alef. While the library’s overall organization might cause many a self-respecting academic to blush, to Saul the study is a paper-lined nursery in which his scholarly interests may grow and blossom by the light of two 80-watt soft white bulbs.

      When Saul closes the study door behind him, he closes the book of the everyday world as well, placing it upon a distant shelf until familial duty or emergency calls him back. So it comes as no surprise that he doesn’t hear the quiet foosh of Eliza’s envelope. Unnoticed, it joins the morass of paper carpeting the floor of his study, invisible to anyone who doesn’t know to look.

      Saul Naumann spends the first portion of his life as Sal Newman, son of Henry and Lisa Newman, decorator of Christmas trees and Easter eggs. Henry has every expectation that his only child will follow him into the car repair business. From an early age Saul has been replacing sparkplugs and changing oil. Though he dislikes the combined smells of car exhaust and sweat, the hardness of the garage floor, and the mess of wires and cold metal that compose the machines of his father’s fancy, Saul fosters these associations for the sake of the rare smiles proffered by his father in their company.

      Saul is thirteen when his mother takes him into the attic and shows him the box. There is a photo of a bearded man with long sidelocks and a black hat, his hand on the shoulder of a boy. At first Saul cannot believe that the curly-haired boy with the fringes hanging past his shirt is his father, Heimel Naumann, the bearded man his grandfather Yehudah. Saul learns the word “Orthodox.” His mother shows him a pair of brass candlesticks and a wine cup. She describes a world ruled by the Book, a world with little room for change. She relates eloping with Heimel after Yehudah declared her not Jewish enough. Saul sees his birth certificate and learns of his father’s decision to renounce the faith, the shift from Heimel to Henry and Naumann to Newman occurring after Yehudah ignored Saul’s birth. Saul, who had been named for Yehudah’s brother Solomon in one son’s attempt to regain a father’s love, became Sal.

      It is Lisa who sneaks her son books, occasionally taking Saul to a nearby synagogue on Henry’s Friday nights out. It is their secret until Henry comes home unexpectedly one evening to find them lighting Shabbat candles. From that point onward, Saul insists on being called by his given name.

      By Saul’s sophomore year of high school, he has given up any pretense of interest in cars and his father has given up interest in him. When Lisa dies of cancer, the house becomes a lonely and divided place, the last link between father and son turning to dust in a box underground. The fights begin soon after, never violent but increasingly damaging.

      Saul’s escape to a liberal arts college finalizes the rift. When Saul uses his student status to stay out of Vietnam, Henry officially washes his hands of his ungrateful, hippie Jew of a son.

      Saul discovers LSD and Jewish mysticism at the same time, a chance concurrence that strengthens the validity of both. During his acid trips, Saul experiences the same sense of time displacement and receptivity described in the texts. On one occasion he attests to having ascended through several levels of being in a manner similar to the ancient mystics, who rode a chariot through six castles on six celestial realms to reach God at the seventh heaven. Saul becomes a campus celebrity and preferred LSD guide. At the end of his undergraduate career and with the war still on, it is only natural that he enter rabbinical school.

      Saul enters Baruch Yeshiva on scholarship. His scholarship is revoked during his freshman year when, in the name of mental exploration, he convinces his roommate to place a tab on his tongue and the resultant bad trip leads to said roommate painting his naked body blue and white and running into the dean’s office to declare himself the new Israeli Prime Minister.

      Saul returns to his alma mater to live rent-free in the attic of an off-campus house inhabited by undergraduates who know him by reputation alone. The attic is charred from a semi-recent fire, contains no electrical outlets, and is uninsulated. Saul can stand fully erect as long as he keeps to the room’s center. He illuminates the space with chains of Christmas lights running off an extension cord snaked up the narrow attic stairs from a lower-floor bedroom.

      Saul spends his time in the library studying Jewish thought and history in a rigorous, self-styled curriculum that surpasses his academic efforts at any time during his official enrollment. He regularly attends religious services and adult education classes at a nearby synagogue. Alone in his attic, Saul practices the traditional songs and fantasizes about someday leading a congregation, if not as a rabbi then as a cantor.

      There are drawbacks to this scavenged existence. While Saul has ample access to drugs and female undergrads in his capacity as sexual and psychoactive guide to the student body, the role has begun to wear thin. His acid trips are too déjà vu. He has worn deep grooves in the psychedelic path, falling СКАЧАТЬ