The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 06, No. 33, July, 1860. Various

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      And whoever would have must seize his own.

      Thus a dying king was left alone,

      With a sad neglect of manners;

      Ere his breath was out, the courtiers ran,

      With fear or zeal for "the coming man,"

      In time to escape from under his ban,

      Or hurry under his banners.

      So Richard was left in a shabby way

      To Marcadee, with an abbot to pray

      And pother with "consolation,"

      Reminding 'twas never too late to search

      For mercy, and hinting that Mother Church

      Was never known to leave in the lurch

      A king with a fat donation.

      But the abbot was known to Richard well,

      As one who would smoothen the road to hell,

      And quite as willing to revel

      As preach; and he always preached to "soothe,"

      With a mild regard for "the follies of youth,"–

      Himself, in epitome, proving the truth

      Of the world, the flesh, and the Devil.

      This was the will that Richard made:–

      "My body at father's feet be laid;

      And to Rouen (it loved me most)

      My heart I give; and I give my ins-

      Ides to the rascally Poitevins;

      To the abbot I give my darling–sins;

      And I give "–He gave up the ghost.

      The abbot looked grave, but never spoke.

      The captain laughed, gave the abbot a poke,

      And, without ado or lingering,

      "Conveyed" the personals, jewels, and gold,

      Omitting the formal To Have and to Hold

      From the royal finger, before it was cold,

      He slipped the royal finger-ring.

      There might have been in the eye of the law

      A something which lawyers would call a flaw

      Of title in such a conversion:

      But if weak in the law, he was strong in the hand,

      And had the "nine points."–He summoned his band,

      And ordered before him the archer Bertrand,

      Intending a little diversion.

      He called the cutter,–no cutter of clothes,

      But such as royalty kept for those

      Who happened to need correcting,–

      And told him that Richard, before he died,

      Desired to have a scalpel applied

      To the traitor there. With professional pride,

      The cutter began dissecting.

      Now Bones was born with a genius to flay:

      He might have ranked, had he lived to-day,

      As a capital taxidermist:

      And yet, as he tugged, they heard him say,

      Of all the backs that ever lay

      Before him in a professional way,

      That was of all backs the firmest.

      Kind reader, allow me to drop a veil

      In pity; I cannot pursue the tale

      In the heartless tone of the last strophe.

      'Tis done, and again I'll be the same.

      They triumphed not, if they felt no shame:

      No muscle quivered, no murmur came,

      Until the final catastrophe.

      The captain jested a moment, then

      He waved his hand and bowed to his men

      With a single word, "Disbanded,"

      And galloped away with three or four

      Stout men-at-arms to the nearest shore,

      Where a gallant array not long before

      With the king in pride had landed.

      He coasted around, went up the Rhine,

      So famous then for robbers and wine,

      So famous now as a ramble.

      The wine and the robbers still are there;

      But they rob you now with a bill of fare,

      And gentlemen bankers "on the square"

      Will clean you out, if you gamble.

      He built him a Schloss on–something-Stein,

      And became the first of as proud a line

      As e'er took toll on the river,

      When barons, perched in their castles high,

      On the valley would keep a watchful eye,

      And pounce on travellers with their cry,

      "The Rhine-dues! down! deliver!"

      And crack their crowns for any delay

      In paying down. And that, by the way,

      About as correctly as I know,

      Is the origin true of an ancient phrase

      So frequently heard in modern days,

      When a gentleman quite reluctantly pays,–

      I mean, "To come down with the rhino."