Forever and a Day. Sophie Love

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СКАЧАТЬ had released as much pain as she needed to, that she had blamed him enough to finally be able to hear his story. A cathartic wave washed over her.

      “It’s why I don’t really use any modern technology,” Roy continued. “There’s a phone booth in town that I use to make my calls, which are few and far between. The local post office lets me know if anyone’s responded to my horologist ad. When I’m feeling strong enough, I go to the local library and check my emails to see whether you’ve been in touch.”

      Emily paused, frowned. This was surprising to her. “You do?”

      Roy nodded. “I’ve been leaving clues for you, Emily Jane. Every time I came back to the house I left another crumb for you to find. The email address was the biggest step I took because I knew as soon as you found it, it would provide a direct line from you to me. But the anticipation, the waiting, it was unbearable. So I limited myself to only a few checks a year. When I got your email I flew right here.”

      Emily realized then that this was the reason for those additional months of anguish he’d put her through after she’d learned he was still alive and then had contacted him. He hadn’t been ignoring her or avoiding her, he simply hadn’t seen her email.

      “Is that true?” she asked, her voice straining as tears filled her eyes. “Did you really come here as soon as you saw I’d been in touch?”

      “Yes,” Roy replied, his voice barely a whisper. His own tears had begun to fall again. “I’ve been hoping and wishing and dreaming for you to get in contact. I figured that one day you would come back to this place, when you were ready. But I also knew you’d be angry with me. I wanted the ball to be in your court. I wanted you to be the one to make contact with me because I didn’t want to intrude on your life. If you’d moved on without me I thought it would be best to keep it that way.”

      “Oh, Dad,” Emily gasped.

      Something, finally, was released from within Emily. Something about this last, final, heartbreaking admission from her father was what she’d been needing to know all along. That he was waiting on her to make the move. He hadn’t been avoiding her, keeping himself hidden, he’d been dropping crumbs for her, trusting that once she put all the pieces together she’d make her own decision about whether or not she could forgive him and allow him back into her life.

      She stood and hurried to the opposite couch, throwing her arms around her neck. She sobbed against his shoulder, deep sobs racking through her body. Roy clung to her, shaking too from the outpouring of grief.

      “I’m so sorry,” he choked, his voice muffled by her hair. “I’m so, so sorry.”

      They stayed like that for a long time, holding each other, shedding every tear they needed to, squeezing out every last drop of pain. Finally the crying ceased. Everything became silent.

      “Do you have any more questions?” Roy finally said quietly. “I’m not going to keep secrets from you anymore. I’m not going to hide anything.”

      Emily felt exhausted, spent with emotion. Her father’s chest rose and fell with each deep breath he took. She was so tired she felt as if she could fall asleep right here in his arms. But at the same time, she still had a million questions burning in her mind, but one more than others.

      “The night when Charlotte died…” she began. “Mom filled me in with some stuff but she only gave me one side of the story. What happened?”

      Roy’s arms tightened around her. Emily knew it was hard for him to remember that night but she desperately wanted to know the truth, or at least his version of it. Maybe she’d be able to plaster together the three parts – Patricia’s, Roy’s, her own – and create something that made sense.

      “I’d taken you for Thanksgiving and Christmas,” Roy began. “Things weren’t going well with your mom so she stayed home. But then you both came down with the flu.”

      “I think I remember,” Emily said. She’d flashed back to some childhood memories of fevers. “Toni’s dog, Persephone, was there. I collapsed in the hall.”

      Roy nodded, but he looked embarrassed. Emily knew why; this had been a turning point in his affair with Toni, the point when he’d been brazen enough to have his mistress’s and his children’s lives intersect.

      “Do you remember your mom turning up unannounced?” Roy said.

      Emily shook her head.

      “She’d wanted to be there to look after you both since you were so sick.”

      “That doesn’t sound like Mom,” Emily said.

      Roy laughed. “No, it doesn’t. Maybe it was an excuse. She suspected the affair and it was her way of turning up unannounced and catching me in the act.”

      Emily let out a subdued nod. That was more her mother’s style.

      “You must have blocked out the argument because I’m sure we were shouting loud enough for them to hear at the harbor.” He shrugged. “I don’t know if it was that that woke Charlotte up. She was on medicine that made her groggy. You both were. But she woke up and I suppose she got confused looking for us, or was just generally feeling unwell and on medication. She ended up in the outhouse with the pool. I suppose you know the rest.”

      Emily did. But what she didn’t realize was how little of a role she’d had to play in it all. It wasn’t her fault for not waking when Charlotte did and stopping her sister wandering away. Nor was it her fault for speaking so enthusiastically about the new pool and planting the excitement in her sister’s mind to go and see it. She’d been ill, confused, possibly even terrified by their parents’ fight. None of it had been her fault. Not a single bit.

      Emily felt a sudden sense of release. Weight she hadn’t even realized she’d been carrying lifted from her shoulders. She’d been clinging onto her guilt over Charlotte’s death, even after her mom had clarified that it hadn’t been her fault. Now she felt as if her father had given her permission to let go of that guilt.

      She snuggled in to him, feeling a new sense of peace settle over her.

      Just then, the quietness was broken by the sound of soft knocking on the door. Daniel peered around.

      “Daniel, come in,” Emily said, beckoning him. She wanted him here now that she and her dad had gotten everything out in the open. She needed his support.

      He came and perched on the edge of the couch opposite them. Emily wiped the tears from her lashes, but remained clinging to her father, curled up like a child beside him on the couch.

      “Does anyone need anything?” Daniel asked softly. “A tissue? A stiff drink?”

      It was just what the moment needed to cut through all the heaviness. Emily hiccupped out a laugh. She felt Roy’s rumbling laugh in his belly.

      “I could do with a drink,” she said.

      “So could I,” Roy replied. “Is the bar stocked?”

      Daniel took the lead. “It is. Come on. It’s so fantastic in there. I’ll make us drinks.”

      Emily hesitated. “Dad, is that a good idea?” she said.

      “Why wouldn’t it be?” Roy replied, looking confused.

      Emily lowered her voice. “Because of your СКАЧАТЬ