The bird's milk. A humorous story with a light touch of satire. Marsel Salimov

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      There were many things in the kitchen, but he did not see the right one.

      – Hey, where are you? – He finally called the women, having carefully examined everything.

      The fight was over. The ladies-cooks simultaneously emerged from the cloud of steam.

      – Did you finish? – The fat one, Tutyia, asked.

      – Not really, – Akbar replied. – I need a break. Do you happen to have milk here?

      – Yes, we have it. I can pour you some.

      – Do not drink this milk, – Tansyk hissed vindictively. – She has diluted it twice.

      – So what? – Akbar said carelessly to flatter Tutyia. – So, now we have more milk.

      – Of course, now we have more milk, – Tutyia gratefully said. – I take care of the visitors. The fatter the milk, the more harmful it is.

      While the junior lady-cook was cursing, the senior one opened the fridge and took out a flask of milk.

      – Enjoy, – she told Akbar gently.

      – Is it the cow's milk?

      – Well, yes. What else can it be?

      – I do not want the cow's milk! I want the bird's milk.

      – The bird's milk? – The fat one got surprised.

      – Yes. Where do you keep it?

      – We do not have such milk.

      – Then where is it? – Akbar kept asking. – Did you take it home?

      Tutyia shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes up.

      – Thank God, we do not have it, – the skinny one interrupted. – Otherwise, she would dilute it as well.

      – Go away. We will figure this out without your help, – Tutyia came to herself. – Mind your own business!

      The ladies-cooks got back to their favourite activity. They began to squeal and fight, and Akbar, with a sigh, stuck the axe into the wooden block, turned around, and went back to the director's office.

      As before, there was Akbar's immediate boss Tatlybay.

      – What is the matter? – The director smiled.

      – Comrade director, – Akbar began with a concerned expression on his face, – our team, namely our boss Tatlybay, ladies-cooks and I, decided to add a new dish to the menu to expand it and acquire a unique culinary style on behalf of…

      At first, Tatlybay got furious that Akbar approached the director without his permission, but having heard his name, he willingly and even happily nodded, pretending to be completely «aware of the matter».