Something Like Happy. Sasha Greene

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СКАЧАТЬ jobs, you can’t stop them talking about it.’

      ‘I don’t hate my job.’ He must have realised he sounded unconvincing, because he amended, ‘Well, not much.’

      ‘So what’s so bad about it?’ she found herself asking.

      Nick paused, as if wondering which item to pick from a very long list. Or just maybe no one had asked him that question before. He scratched his chin, which was covered in a layer of slightly rugged stubble. ‘A combination of things, really. It’s a pretty macho environment for starters.’

      ‘Tell me about it.’ Jade rolled her eyes. She knew all about that from where she worked. Still, it wasn’t like the guys didn’t care about the girls … they just did it in a slightly condescending way. ‘I’ve never heard a guy complain about that before.’

      Nick pulled himself up straight, as if this was something that mattered a lot to him. ‘We’re not all the same, you know.’

      Jade suddenly remembered the forgotten half of her breakfast which still lay on her plate and took another bite.

      ‘What is that weird orange stuff anyway?’ Nick pointed at her plate.

      ‘It’s called sobrasada according to the menu. From Spain apparently.’

      He studied her plate, where the sobrasada was smeared on toast with mashed avocado. ‘Well, it’s the weirdest looking sandwich I’ve ever seen. I hope it tastes better than it looks.’

      ‘It’s amazing.’ Jade held out a piece. ‘Do you want to try it?’

      Nick shook his head, rubbing his stomach. ‘I would, but I’m pretty full. I’ll have to have a try next time.’

      ‘Oh.’ Jade decided it was a perfect opportunity to tease him. ‘Does that that mean there will be a next time?’ She winked at him.

      ‘Well, what about next week?’

      ‘Next week we’re taking the oldies out again. Or have you forgotten your promise?’

      ‘Oh yeah. It’s in my diary. I wouldn’t have forgotten.’ Nick stretched happily, leaning back with his arms tucked behind his head.

      Jade slowly crunched her way through the rest of her toast. ‘Peter does have a lesson at eight a.m., but that’s probably too early for you.’

      Nick shook his head. ‘Not really. It’s only half an hour from my place. How about we go and then have a quick breakfast here before going to pick up the … oldies, as you call them?’ He paused. ‘I think I’m going to tell them that you called them that.’

      Jade sucked in a breath. ‘You wouldn’t dare.’

      ‘Never.’ Nick smiled, his eyes crinkling at the edges. ‘It’s our secret.’

      And Jade found herself becoming suddenly warm under his gaze. Stop it, she told herself. We’re friends, nothing more. You have enough problems to deal with at the moment without taking on someone else’s too, remember?

      ‘OK,’ she said. ‘Yoga, then breakfast, then oldies, as you put it. But that means we might have to wait for the next thing on the list until the weekend after.’

      ‘Can’t we do it on the Sunday?’

      Jade shook her head. ‘Working. You see, another point in the score against my job.’

      ‘You work Sundays?’ Nick was surprised.

      ‘Yep, six days a week. And mostly evenings too.’

      ‘Oh, my dreams of go-kart heaven are shattered. I feel for your poor little soul.’ He picked up her hand from the table and pressed it against his heart theatrically.

      Jade snatched her hand away from his grip, her own heart hammering at the feel of his skin so close to hers. Even through his shirt then she had felt the warmth of his body, and it unsettled her more than she cared to admit. She stood up suddenly, almost knocking her chair over backwards.

      ‘I really need to go.’ She grabbed her coat from the chair, wrapping her scarf around her neck right up to her ears, as if she could hide from the world that way. ‘I promised to help my mum with some cooking.’ It was a lie, but she didn’t care. ‘Let’s pay at the till.’

      Nick put his coat on too, seeming to be completely unaware of her inner thoughts, and they wandered back down to the bottom of the hill in silence. The rain fell in a steady drizzle, beading on Nick’s hair and making him look like he was grey before his time.

      ‘I’ll see you next week then.’ Nick leaned in for another quick kiss on her cheek.

      ‘Sure.’ Jade found herself smiling up at him.

      He gave her a little wave as he set off down the street. Jade put her head down and resolutely walked the other way. She would put all thoughts of what had happened today out of her mind. Anyway, he’d never shown any sign that he was attracted to her. He was a nice guy. Just nice, she told herself firmly. Some kindness after all she had gone through was making her a bit soppy. And that was all it was. She had to keep her focus on what she was really supposed to be doing here, which was making sure that Nick was OK. Building him a support network in Glasgow.

      The walk back put her in a better mood. The dull grey streets all sparkled in the wet, and the freshness of the rain made a change from the stink of the cars. By the time she got back home she was smiling. She loved Glasgow. Weather and warts and all. This was her city. And she was proud of it. Roll on life. She was ready for it.

      Nick had hoped his muscles would have held up after last week’s class, but half-way through a yoga pose he felt his thighs beginning to tremble. Mind you, he hadn’t had anything for breakfast, so it was probably all his fault. The black cloud in his brain had come on so fast last night that all he could do was lie in bed and wait for it to pass. He was still waiting. The beautiful spring sun shining in through the windows made even more of a mockery of his mood.

      At least he had made it through the week. That was his main goal in life, to pass as normal. Only he knew just how much effort it had taken to drag himself out of bed this morning and walk across town. But he hadn’t wanted to let Jade down. Or Archie.

      Meeting Jade had given him some hope, and it felt as though she was the only thing that was getting him through his life right now. When he was with her the world seemed a little less grey and depressing. But he would never tell her how he felt about her though. Didn’t want her to feel like he was somehow fixated on her in a creepy way. She seemed happy to just be friends. And he could see why. Who would want to take someone on who was miserable most of the time?

      To his horror he felt his eyes fill with tears. Not here, not now, he begged himself. He beat his feelings back into submission until they slowly simmered inside him, although he knew they were ready to boil over again at a moment’s notice. He shouldn’t have come, he knew that now. The sound of Peter’s voice as he ended the class felt like the biggest relief he had ever known.

      He gathered up his mat, purposely not looking for Jade. He would go home. Sink into his bed. Never come out. And they would find his emaciated corpse when they finally broke down the door.

      ‘Depression lies.’ A voice spoke right next to his СКАЧАТЬ