Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 12. Derek Landy

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      “And you pop out from under there at whoever’s passing, don’t you?”

      “Three chances,” the troll said, nodding. “Three chances is what they get. Guess the name, don’t get eaten; get it wrong, come along.”

      “Do you want to play it with me?”

      The grin faded on the troll’s face. “Not strong yet. Need to wait, yes yes. Stroke of midnight.”

      “We don’t have to wait, do we?” Tanith said with a pout. “I want to play now. I bet I can guess your name.”

      “No, you can’t.”

      “Bet I can.”

      “No, you can’t!” the troll said, giggling again.

      “Come on up out of there, we’ll see.”

      “Yes yes, play the game.”

      Tanith glanced at her watch and stepped back as the troll scampered up. Two minutes to midnight. He was small, up to her waist, with thin arms and legs and a bloated belly. His fingernails were hardened and pointed and he was grinning in anticipation, though keeping his distance.

      She let her coat fall open a little and smiled at him. “You’re a handsome little fellow, aren’t you? Are you the only troll in London?”

      “Only one,” he said proudly. “Now we play! Guess the name, don’t get eaten; get it wrong, come along. Guess guess guess.”

      “Let’s see,” she said, taking a step closer. The troll narrowed its eyes and stepped back, towards the edge of the bridge. She stopped moving. “Is your name Bollohollow?”

      The troll roared with laughter. “No no, not Bollohollow! Two guesses left, only two!”

      “This is harder than I thought,” said Tanith. “You’re really good at this, aren’t you?”

      “Best! Very best!”

      “Not many people have guessed your name, huh?”

      “No one,” the troll cackled. “Guess guess!”

      “Is it… Ferninabop Caprookie?”

      The troll whooped and hollered and danced, and Tanith moved a little closer.

      “Not Ferninabop!” he laughed. “Not Caprookie!”

      “Wow,” Tanith said, looking worried. “I’m not doing too well here, am I?”

      “Gonna get eaten!”

      “You eat a lot of passers-by?”

      “Yes yes, yum yum.”

      “You gobble them all up, don’t you? They scream and cry and run away—”

      “But I catch them!” the troll giggled. “Stroke of midnight, I’m big and strong and fast, gobble them up, gobble them all up! They struggle and wriggle and tickle inside me!”

      “I’d better get my last guess right then, eh?” said Tanith. “Is it… Rumplestilskin?”

      The troll laughed so hard he fell on to his back. “No no!” he managed to say between gales of laughter. “They always say that! Always get it wrong!”

      Tanith took one more step, and dropped her smile. The sword flashed from her coat but the troll saw it just in time and squealed and rolled.

      Tanith cursed and swiped again, but the troll dodged beneath her and she spun and kicked out, sending him sprawling. He scrambled to his feet, hissing and spitting at her as she advanced, and then, in the warm London night, the sound of Big Ben. Midnight.

      Tanith lunged but it was too late. The troll skipped back as his shoulders hunched and he snarled and started to grow.

      “Nuts,” Tanith whispered to herself.

      Muscles bulged in his arms and legs, stretching the skin so tight it looked like it might split. She moved forward again but he flipped back through the air, and when he landed he was as tall as she was. His chest broadened and his neck thickened and still he grew, and still he snarled. His bones popped and he finished growing. He was now almost twice her size.

      Facing down a fully-grown troll was not what she had planned. She held the sword down by her leg and circled the creature.

      “You cheated,” the troll said, his voice deep and guttural now.

      “You’ve been a very naughty boy,” she said.

      “Gobble you up. Gobble you all up, yes yes.”

      Tanith shot him a smile. “Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough…”

      The troll roared and lunged, moving fast despite his size, but Tanith was ready. She slipped to the side and then past him, her sword opening up his thigh. He hissed in pain and swung a massive fist that slammed into her back. She hit the ground hard. He went to stamp on her but she rolled, coming up on one knee and bringing the sword from her side to her shoulder and the blade found his arm.

      The troll stumbled back and she got to her feet.

      “Gonna bite you,” the troll growled, “gonna bite you into little pieces, yes yes.”

      “The game’s not so much fun when you’re playing with someone who can fight back, is it?”

      “My bridge,” he snarled. “My game.”

      She smiled at him. “My rules.”

      Another roar and he dived straight at her and she stood her ground. One swipe of the sword took the fingers on his left hand and he howled in pain and staggered back and she jumped. She planted her feet on his chest and swung, the blade flashing in the bridge’s lights as it took his head. The troll’s body stumbled back and she jumped off. The body hit the barrier and tipped backwards into the river.

      Tanith stooped to pick up the head and moved to the barrier. She turned as a man walked up. She had never met him before but she knew who he was. He was tall and bald, and his face was lined and his eyes were a startling blue, the palest eyes she had ever seen. His name was Mr Bliss.

      Mr Bliss nodded to the head in her hand. “Risky.”

      “I’ve fought trolls before,” she said respectfully.

      “I meant the risk you took with being seen.”

      “It had to be done. This troll has killed many innocent people.”

      “But that’s what trolls do. You can’t blame him for doing what nature intended.” She didn’t know how to respond. Mr Bliss smiled.

      “I’m not berating you,” he said. “You’ve done a noble and selfless thing. СКАЧАТЬ