The Martians. Kim Stanley Robinson

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СКАЧАТЬ be able to go out and explore different parts of Mars, and have things to keep their trips under the radar.’

      ‘Are they doing that?’

      ‘Yeah. I’ve been out myself. You know, they say it’s just a trip to Hebes Chasma, and then they get over the horizon and set off to the east, mostly. Into the chaos. It’s beautiful, Maya, really beautiful. I mean maybe it’s just because I been cooped up so long, but I love being out there, I love it. It’s what I came for, here at last. In my life. I have a hard time convincing myself to come back.’

      Maya looked at him closely, thinking it over. ‘Maybe that’s what you all ought to do.’

      ‘What?’

      ‘Take off.’

      ‘Where would I go?’

      ‘Not just you – all of you. Hiroko’s whole group. Take off and start your own colony. Go off where Frank and the rest of the police couldn’t find you. Otherwise you may get busted and sent home.’ She told him what she had heard from Michel.

      ‘Hmm.’

      ‘Could you do it, do you think? Hide them all, like you’ve hidden yourself?’

      ‘Maybe. There’s some cave systems in the chaoses east of here, you wouldn’t believe what I’ve seen.’ He thought it over. ‘We’d need all the basics. And we’d have to disguise our thermal signal. Send it down into the permafrost, melt our water for us. Yeah, I suppose it could be worked out. Hiroko has been thinking about it already.’

      ‘You should tell her to hurry up then. Before she gets busted.’

      ‘Okay, I will. Thanks Maya.’

      And the next time he dropped by in the middle of the night, it was to say goodbye. He hugged her and she held onto him, clutching. Then she pulled him onto her, and instantaneously, without any transition, they were getting their clothes off and making love. She rolled over onto him, shocked at how slight he was, and he flexed up to clasp her and they were off into that other world of sex, a wild pleasure. She did not have to play it safe with this man, who was the perfect outsider, an outlaw, her stowaway, and at this hard point in her life, one of her only real friends. Sex as an expression of friendship; it had happened to her before, a few times when she was young, but she had forgotten how much fun it could be, how friendly and pure, neither romantic nor anonymous.

      Afterwards she observed, ‘It’s been a while.’

      He rolled his eyes, leaned up to gnaw on her collarbone. ‘Years since a time like that,’ he said happily. ‘Since I was about fifteen, I think.’

      She laughed and squished him under her. ‘Flatterer. I take it your Hiroko doesn’t give you enough attention.’

      He made a disgusted noise. ‘We’ll see how it goes in the outback.’

      That made her sad. ‘I’m going to miss you,’ she said. ‘Things won’t be the same around here with you gone.’

      ‘I’ll miss you too,’ he said intently, face nearly touching hers. I love you, Maya. You’ve been a friend to me, a good friend when I didn’t have any. When I really needed one. I’ll never forget that. I’ll come back and visit you whenever I can. I’m a very tenacious friend. You’ll find out it’s true.’

      ‘Good,’ she said, feeling better. Her stowaway came and went, it had always been that way; no different even if he left Underhill. Or so she could hope.

      3. HELPING HER

      So off the farm crew went, disappearing into the badlands of the back country. Good riddance, Maya thought, insular smug mystics that they were – a cult, disfiguring the first town on Mars. In public she feigned surprise and indignation along with all the rest, her response unnoticed.

      But she really was surprised, and indignant, to find that Michel had disappeared with them. Desmond had never mentioned him to her in any way that would indicate that Michel had been part of the farm’s cult, and it seemed so unlike him that Maya could hardly believe it. But Michel was gone too. And with him gone, she had lost two of her best friends in the colony – even if Michel, always present, had been as unsatisfactory as Desmond in his occasional visits had been helpful; nevertheless she had felt close to Michel, as two maladjusted people in a community of the ordinary. As the melancholy client of the melancholy therapist. She missed him too, and was angry at him for leaving without a goodbye; she couldn’t help but contrast that to Desmond. And as time passed she felt stronger than ever the afterglow of making love with a man who liked her but did not ‘love’ her, i.e. want to possess her, in the way of Frank, or John.

      So life went on, without friends. She broke up with Frank, then with John. Nadia despised her, which made Maya furious – to be dismissed by such a grub! and her sister at that. It was depressing. The whole damned situation was depressing; Tatiana killed by a fallen crane; everyone off in their own world.

      And so no one welcomed the arrival of other colonists on Mars more than Maya. She was sick of the first hundred. Other settlements were established, and as soon as she could Maya left Underhill and struck out on her own, intending never to go back, any more than she would intentionally return to Russia. You can never go home, as the American saying had it. Which was true, though wrong as well.

      She moved to Low Point, the deepest place on Mars, out near the middle of the Hellas Basin; which being the lowest would be the first place they would be able to breathe the new air generated by the terraforming effort. So they believed at the time, and believed themselves very forward-thinking for it! Fools that they were. And she fell in love with an engineer named Oleg, and they moved in together, in a set of rooms at the end of one of the long worm-tube modules. And years passed while she worked like a dog to build a city that would end up at the bottom of a sea.

      And fell out of love to boot, even though Oleg was a good man, admirable in many ways, and he loved her like anything. It was her problem; but it was his heart that was going to get broken. So that for a long time she couldn’t do it, and that made her angry, and so she fought with him, until they were as miserable as two people could make each other.

      And still he clung to her, even as over time she made him come to hate her. Hated her but loved her; in love, frightened, scared to death that she would leave him; and Maya more and more disgusted at his cowardice and reliance on her. That he could love such a monster as she had become filled her with contempt and pity, and she would walk the crowded tubes home, slowing with every step, dreading the horrible evening and night that lay before her every day.

      Then one day, out in a rover on the great flat plains of western Hellas, a suited figure stepped from behind a boulder knot and waved her down. It was Desmond. He got in her rover lock, vacuumed the outside of his suit free of dust, took off his helmet, came into the main compartment. ‘Hi!’

      She almost crushed him with her hug. ‘What’s up?’

      ‘I wanted to say hi, that’s all.’

      They sat in her rover and talked through the afternoon, holding hands or at least touching each other always, watching the shadow of the boulder knot lengthen over the empty ochre expanse.

      ‘Are you this Coyote they talk about?’

      ‘Yes.’ His crack-jawed СКАЧАТЬ