Confession of a Ghost. F.M. Dostoevsky award. Playing Another Reality. Alexandra Kryuchkova

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СКАЧАТЬ turned around, holding on to the window handle with her right hand, and with her left, still fingering the rosary.

      “I don’t remember anything. It hurts remembering. The pain would have killed me, one of us had to die – either me or the pain. I prayed asking to erase my memory so as not to exit life, but it was only an illusion of choice! God heard me and erased my memory. Since then, I wake up in the morning remembering nothing, not even the day before. Such life is worse than any death. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. You can’t escape your destiny! I tried to avoid what I ended up with. However, I’m not afraid, since I died at the same time as my memory.”

      The Guardian hovered in the air in front of the window, and the same devil who had whispered to me in front of the door, “One more ours!”, appeared next to him. The drenched devil was rubbing his disgusting hooves and impatiently beating his tail on the slippery ledge.

      Me in the Future noticed my gaze, turned to face the rain and, seeing the Guardian, cried out,

      “It’s you!”

      She was about to take a step towards the Guardian, whom she had clearly mistaken for an angel of death, as I rushed towards her, trying to grab her by the black hoodie in order to… but – what a horror! – it seemed to me, it happened precisely because of me, because of that movement of mine, the wave of energy, – she suddenly slipped on the wet windowsill and… with the window handle, that couldn’t withstand the load, in one hand, and with the rosary in the other, instantly collapsed into the darkness!

      “No!” I screamed.

      The happy devil disappeared, the Guardian sighed heavily and hugged me.

      “Why didn’t you do anything? Why didn’t you save her? She remembered nothing! She had a rosary; she prayed, you see! And you didn’t listen to her! You knew that I wouldn’t be able to find out the cause and change anything, since you had taken her memory away!”

      “Calm down, Rukh! Everything will be fine. We have to go.”

      “Wait. Perhaps there is some hint here.”

      I looked around. It was the kitchen. There was a table by the window with a candlestick in wax, some icons on the left wall, a stove and a sink on the right. The scanned fridge turned out to be almost empty – half a lemon and cottage cheese.

      I left the kitchen for the hallway and went further into the room: again the icons on the walls, a fireplace, a rocking chair, a bed and a wardrobe. There was a prayer book on the bedside table. The contents of the wardrobe, in terms of the number of things inside, resembled the fridge.

      “I don’t understand,” I whispered. “Was she a nun?”

      The Guardian shook his head negatively. I returned to the corridor. As everywhere, there were icons on the walls. Suddenly, I noticed another door with a rusty lock and found a hidden room behind it, where – wow! – there were bags with miscellaneous stuff, covered with cobwebs and dust. Apparently, Me in the Future had locked our Past there.

      “We have to go, Rukh!” the Guardian called out to me.

      “Give me a second!” I said, for some reason rushing to the bookcase in the far corner, and began to scan the titles at lightning speed until my gaze settled on “Do you believe in ghosts?”

      “I need this book. I want to take it with me!”

      “Leave it. All books are stored in the Library of the Universe. You can read it going down the Stairs. Are you satisfied with such option?”

      “At least something,” I muttered in response, and in a moment we were back at the mysterious House No. 1.

      40 Before/1 After. House No. I. (ASC)

      Starry Garden

      Somewhere in the Universe

      I was about to open the door to House No. 1, trying to disengage myself from what I had seen in my potential Future, when Selene stopped me.

      “Don’t rush, Rukh! Let’s talk all the four of us in the starry garden,” she said with a smile and led me to the heavenly swing. “What do you think awaits you on Earth?”

      “When the Guardian woke me up, I thought about light and joyful things. I’ve been told that earthly parents help the soul to get accustomed to the new space, then the children grow up, meet earthly love, create families in warm and cozy houses, take care of each other and work, doing something useful for the world. However, I don’t know what to think now. I still have no idea who I’m going to be there and what I have to go through.”

      “Everyone is scared before the incarnation,” Selene reassured me. “Heavenly passport is not a sentence, it’s a labyrinth with corridors of predetermined options. It’s forbidden to go outside the labyrinth, but there is almost always the right to choose inside.”

      Selene and I were sitting on the swing, while Sirius and the Guardian slowly rocked it.

      “You are at the starting point of your destiny,” Sirius said, “at the moment of your first breath on Earth. This point is called the Ascendant, it falls into one of the 360 degrees of the Heavenly Circle, the Clock of Life, and in fact determines your entire life on Earth.”

      “And what is that degree?” I asked, and the Canis Major Constellation flickered on the screen of the Universe.

      “The magical degree of mystery and prophetic gift,” said Selene, “one of the most mystical, where the Sun connects with Sirius. Sirius, the Alpha of the Canis Major Constellation, the Heavenly Wolf, is a symbol of single people who don’t care about the opinions of others, they are drawn to exploring the Invisible World, which can lead to tragic results due to a weakened sense of self-preservation.”

      “By the way, degrees have colors,” Sirius said. “Mine is purple, the sign of the initiates, it means a direct connection with Heaven and high spirituality. This degree is usually accentuated in ascetics and spiritual teachers, but sometimes in great scientists, writers, translators, interior designers – in extraordinary and mysterious personalities, more often geniuses, whose lives are full of mysterious events and ‘accidental’ coincidences.”

      “You will anticipate future events,” the Guardian added.

      “Sirius is a great magician,” Selene confirmed. “He is 250 million years old. The Royal star of the brightest light! The luminosity of Sirius exceeds the Solar 25 times. The star of the initiates who receive spiritual support from the Subtle World. Sirius gives you the keys to the Secret Knowledge, provides authority, fame and all sorts of honors. Sirius is accentuated in the passports of many famous people.”

      “Who are all these people?” I asked, curiously examining the holographic portraits on the screen of the Universe.

      “Albert Einstein, Nobel Prize winner in physics. He penetrated the Subtle World, explored Space and Time, predicted quantum teleportation and gravitational waves, dealt with the problems of cosmology and studied the СКАЧАТЬ