На маяк. Уровень 3 / To the Lighthouse. Вирджиния Вулф

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ little place,” he murmured with a sigh.

      She heard him. He said the most melancholy things. But she knew when he said them he always seemed more cheerful afterwards. All this phrase-making was a game, she thought.

      It annoyed her, this phrase-making, and she said to him, that it was a perfectly lovely evening. And what was he groaning about, she asked.

      She was half laughing, half complaining, for she guessed what he was thinking. He can write better books if he is not married.

      He was not complaining, he said.

      She knew that he did not complain. She knew that he had nothing whatever to complain of. And he seized her hand and raised it to his lips and kissed it with an intensity that brought the tears to her eyes. Then he dropped it.

      They turned away and began to walk up the path where the silver-green spear-like plants grew, arm in arm.

      His arm was almost like a young man’s arm, Mrs. Ramsay thought, thin and hard.

      She thought with delight how strong he still was, though he was over sixty. And how untamed and optimistic. He was convinced of all sorts of horrors, but they did not depress him, but cheered him.

      Was it not odd, she reflected?

      Indeed he seemed to her sometimes blind, deaf, and dumb to the ordinary things. But to the extraordinary things, he had an eye like an eagle’s. His understanding often astonished her. But did he notice the flowers? No. Did he notice the view? No. Did he even notice his own daughter’s beauty, or a pudding on his plate or roast beef? He sits at table with them like a person in a dream. And his habit of talking aloud, or saying poetry aloud!

      “Best and brightest come away!”

      Mrs. Ramsay showed him, by a little pressure on his arm, that he walked up hill too fast for her. She must stop for a moment to see whether those were fresh molehills on the bank. A great mind like his must be different from ours.

      At that moment, he said, “Very fine,” to please her. He pretended to admire the flowers. But she knew quite well that he did not admire them. He did not even realise that they were there. It was only to please her.

      Ah, but was that not Lily Briscoe with William Bankes? She focused her eyes upon the backs of the couple. Yes, indeed it was. Did that not mean that they would marry? Yes, it must! What an admirable idea! They must marry!

      13

      He had been to Amsterdam, Mr. Bankes was saying as he strolled across the lawn with Lily Briscoe. He had seen the Rembrandts[17].

      He had been to Madrid. Unfortunately, it was Good Friday[18] and the Prado was shut.

      He had been to Rome. Had Miss Briscoe never been to Rome? Oh, she must! It will be a wonderful experience for her – the Sistine Chapel[19]; Michael Angelo[20]; and Padua, with its Giottos[21].

      She had been to Brussels; she had been to Paris but only for a short visit to see an aunt who was ill. She had been to Dresden; there were masses of pictures she had not seen. However, Lily Briscoe reflected, perhaps it was better not to see pictures. They only made one hopelessly discontented with one’s own work.

      We can’t all be Titians and we can’t all be Darwins, he said. At the same time, we won’t have Darwins and Titians if we don’t have humble people like ourselves. Lily wanted to pay him a compliment; you’re not humble, Mr. Bankes. But he did not want compliments (most men do, she thought), and she was a little ashamed of her impulse and said nothing.

      Anyhow, said Lily, she would always go on painting, because it interested her.

      Yes, said Mr. Bankes, he was sure she would.

      As they reached the end of the lawn he was asking her whether she could easily find subjects in London when they turned and saw the Ramsays. So that is marriage, Lily thought.

      Mrs. Ramsay greeted them with her usual smile (oh, she’s thinking we’re going to get married, Lily thought) and said,

      “I have triumphed tonight”.

      That meant Mr. Bankes had agreed to dine with them. Then Prue ran to them with a ball. Her mother said,

      “Haven’t they come back yet?”

      Then she asked,

      “Did Nancy go with them?”

      14

      Certainly, Nancy had gone with them. Minta Doyle had asked it with her dumb look. She did not want to go. She did not want to be drawn into it all[22]. As they walked along the road to the cliff Minta was taking her hand. Then she let it go. Then she took it again. What did she want? Nancy asked herself.

      There was something, of course, that people wanted. When Minta took her hand and held it, Nancy, reluctantly, saw the whole world spread out beneath her. Nancy asked, when Minta took her hand. “What is it that she wants? Is it that?” And what was that? Here and there emerged from the mist a pinnacle and a dome, the things without names.

      Minta, Andrew observed, was rather a good walker. She wore more sensible clothes that most women. She wore very short skirts. She could jump straight into a stream and flounder across. He liked her rashness, but he saw that she could kill herself. She was afraid of nothing – except bulls. At the mere sight of a bull in a field she threw up her arms and ran away. She knew she was an awful coward about bulls, she said. But didn’t mind what she said or did. Suddenly now she stood on the edge of the cliff and began to sing a song:

      “Damn your eyes, damn your eyes!”

      They all had to join in and sing the chorus together:

      “Damn your eyes, damn your eyes!”

      It will be fatal to let the tide come in and cover up all the hunting-grounds[23] before they got on to the beach.

      “Fatal,” Paul agreed.

      He sprang up. As they went down, he was quoting the guide-book: “These islands are famous for their prospects and the extent and variety of their marine curiosities.” It is not right to sing aloud “Damn your eyes, damn your eyes!” Andrew felt. It was not right to take women on walks.

      Once on the beach they separated. He went out on to the Pope’s Nose. He took his shoes off, and rolled his socks in them. He left that couple.

      Nancy went to her rocks and searched her pools. She touched the smooth rubber-like sea anemones. She changed the pool into the sea, and made the minnows into sharks and whales, and cast vast clouds over this tiny world, like God himself. Out on the pale sand, stalked some fantastic leviathan, and slipped into the vast fissures of the mountain side. She was listening to the waves, she was dreaming.

      Andrew shouted that the sea was coming in. So she ran through the shallow waves to the shore and ran up the beach. She went behind a rock and there СКАЧАТЬ