33 лучших юмористических рассказа на английском / 33 Best Humorous Short Stories. Коллектив авторов

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      Secretly, after nightfall, he visited the home of the Prime Minister. He examined it from top to bottom. He measured all the doors and windows. He took up the flooring. He inspected the plumbing. He examined the furniture. He found nothing.

      With equal secrecy he penetrated into the palace of the Archbishop. He examined it from top to bottom. Disguised as a choir-boy he took part in the offices of the church. He found nothing.

      Still undismayed, the Great Detective made his way into the home of the Countess of Dashleigh. Disguised as a housemaid, he entered the service of the Countess.

      Then at last a clue came which gave him a solution of the mystery.

      On the wall of the Countess’s boudoir was a large framed engraving.

      It was a portrait.

      Under it was a printed legend:

      THE PRINCE OF WURTTEMBERG

      The portrait was that of a Dachshund.

      The long body, the broad ears, the unclipped tail, the short hind legs – all was there.

      In a fraction of a second the lightning mind of the Great Detective had penetrated the whole mystery.

      THE PRINCE WAS A DOG!!!!

      Hastily throwing a domino over his housemaid’s dress, he rushed to the street. He summoned a passing hansom, and in a few moments was at his house.

      ‘I have it,’ he gasped to his secretary. ‘The mystery is solved.

      I have pieced it together. By sheer analysis I have reasoned it out.

      Listen – hind legs, hair on back, wet snout, pup – eh, what? does thatsuggest nothing to you?’

      ‘Nothing,’ said the secretary; ‘it seems perfectly hopeless.’

      The Great Detective, now recovered from his excitement, smiled faintly.

      ‘It means simply this, my dear fellow. The Prince of Wurttemberg is a dog, a prize Dachshund. The Countess of Dashleigh bred him, and he is worth some 25,000 pounds in addition to the prize of 10,000 pounds offered at the Paris dog show. Can you wonder that —’

      At that moment the Great Detective was interrupted by the scream of a woman.

      ‘Great Heaven!’

      The Countess of Dashleigh dashed into the room.

      Her face was wild.

      Her tiara was in disorder.

      Her pearls were dripping all over the place.

      She wrung her hands and moaned.

      ‘They have cut his tail,’ she gasped, ‘and taken all the hair off his back. What can I do? I am undone!!’

      ‘Madame,’ said the Great Detective, calm as bronze, ‘do yourself up. I can save you yet.’

      ‘You!’

      ‘Me!’

      ‘How?’

      ‘Listen. This is how. The Prince was to have been shown at Paris.’

      The Countess nodded.

      ‘Your fortune was staked on him?’

      The Countess nodded again.

      ‘The dog was stolen, carried to London, his tail cut and his marks disfigured.’

      Amazed at the quiet penetration of the Great Detective, the Countess kept on nodding and nodding.

      ‘And you are ruined?’

      ‘I am,’ she gasped, and sank to the floor in a heap of pearls.

      ‘Madame,’ said the Great Detective, ‘all is not lost.’

      He straightened himself up to his full height. A look of inflinchable unflexibility flickered over his features.

      The honour of England, the fortune of the most beautiful woman in England was at stake.

      ‘I will do it,’ he murmured.

      ‘Rise dear lady,’ he continued. ‘Fear nothing. I WILL IMPERSONATE THE DOG!!!’

      That night the Great Detective might have been seen on the deck of the Calais packet boat with his secretary. He was on his hands and knees in a long black cloak, and his secretary had him on a short chain.

      He barked at the waves exultingly and licked the secretary’s hand.

      ‘What a beautiful dog,’ said the passengers.

      The disguise was absolutely complete.

      The Great Detective had been coated over with mucilage to which dog hairs had been applied. The markings on his back were perfect. His tail, adjusted with an automatic coupler, moved up and down responsive to every thought. His deep eyes were full of intelligence.