Planning A Wedding For Dummies. Sarah Lizabeth Barker

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      Like the bachelorette party, the best man or group of groomsmen typically plan the getaway, but it’s fine if the groom wants to plan his own weekend away. It’s also nice to make sure that the groom’s trip costs are covered by the groomsmen. If the price per person is $200 and you have five groomsmen, then each groomsman will pay an additional $40 to cover the cost for the groom.

The groom should pick activities that he enjoys, such as a golf weekend, time on the lake, or a fishing trip. This is meant to be a weekend away spent with your groomsmen to get a little guy time. Plan activities that everyone can participate in and enjoy the company of your friends. Be thoughtful of minors if you do want to bar crawl.

      Regarding timing, the bachelor party should take place one to two months prior to the wedding. There is no need to send formal invitations. Create the guest list and make sure to share that with your best man if he is planning the bachelor party. It’s common to invite friends who aren’t in the wedding. Reach out to your friends and get a sense of how many people will attend the bachelor party so that you can plan appropriately.

      I would suggest renting a home share or resourcing a family or friend’s lake or beach house. If you do rent a home share, be sure that the host allows their space to be rented to a bachelor trip group. That has caused problems in the past for clients who didn’t disclose this when they booked and arrived to find that the host would not allow them to stay there.

      The bachelor trip is a wonderful time for the groom to spend a little time away with his guy friends. Remember to have fun and enjoy your weekend but respect your bride-to-be. Although this may be referred to as your last night of freedom, when you put that ring on her finger, you already committed to be faithful to her. Whatever decisions you make, have fun!

      Couple’s shower

      A couple’s shower is a party where both people who are getting married attend. This is a wonderful way to bring people together on both sides to celebrate your marriage. The guest list is co-ed and more inclusive than just one of you hosting a shower. It also takes the pressure off one or the other because you attend the party together and the attention is on the happy couple.

      This shower is often planned by the bridal party, parents, or close friends, but a couple can opt to plan their own. A couple’s shower can be a dinner party like the engagement party, or it could be held in a brunch setting. You may also consider a group activity. The great news is that there are lots of options and everything is fair game!

A couple’s shower should occur one to two months prior to your wedding. The host can be a person in your bridal party, parents, or a close family friend. The guest list is limitless regarding who you can invite, but the location of your shower might determine who can attend. If a relative or family friend is hosting your shower, consider a backyard BBQ. You can also rent an intimate event space or a location that offers a group activity, such as duckpin bowling; golf is also a favorite option.

      

A good theme will enhance your couple’s shower. Consider incorporating where you met or where you got engaged. Include your favorite food or cater in your favorite local restaurant. The important piece is that this shower reflects you and your better half. Consider coordinating your outfits for this party. After all, you’re doing this together. Have fun planning what to wear with your fiancé.

      Paper invitations are appropriate for your couple’s shower and should incorporate each of you. The invitation should include the title of the event, your names, date, time, location, RSVP information, and your registry. The RSVP date should be two weeks before the event and your host should collect the responses via phone or email.

      Games are a shower tradition, and at a couple’s shower they can be themed to incorporate both of you, such as having your guests fill out a premade card that includes a list of items: Who is better at cooking? Who is better with their money? Who sleeps in? Your guest will answer each question and you’ll share the correct answer. Whoever gets the most answers correct wins a prize. This game always keeps the guests laughing as they wonder which one of you hits the snooze button fifteen times and which one wakes up as soon as you hear the alarm.

      Bridal shower

      A bridal shower is a party that honors the bride-to-be. To me, they are the “catchall” showers. You may have one or multiple showers based on what your life looks like. For example, if you live in city A, your parents live in city B, and your partner’s parents live in city C, it’s appropriate to have three showers, with three different hosts, to include each group of people. Whether this is your first marriage or second, a shower is a wonderful time to bring your closest friends together to celebrate your future marriage.

      

Having multiple showers is common practice, so it’s important to speak to each host to avoid overlapping on the timing of the events. The bridal shower is typically held one to two months before your wedding day. I would suggest that all parties and showers are wrapped up by a month out from your big day. As we go through the planning process, you’ll see that there are a lot of last-minute i’s to dot and t’s to cross. If your parties are scheduled too close to your wedding day, you may be overwhelmed with your busy party schedule and the already long list of thank-you notes to send.

The bridal shower host can be someone from your bridal party, a close friend, or a relative. The host will take care of sending the invitations, cover the costs of the party, and make sure the party is a success. Be sure to discuss with each host how many people they feel comfortable having at the event. They are covering the financial costs of the shower, so check in with them first before you start planning the guest list.

      A paper invitation or digital invitation is appropriate for your shower. When your host designs the invitation, make sure to include the title, your name, date, time, location, RSVP information, and your registry. They will also collect the responses from your guests. Feel free to check in with them to see who will be attending your shower. The wedding day is so busy that your bridal showers are the perfect time to catch up with old friends — another opportunity to see those you love prior to the big day.

      Bridal showers are typically packed with games for your guests to enjoy. Those games are intended to be fun and give your guests a little insight into who you and your partner are as a couple. To avoid being completely embarrassed in front of some friends who have known you your entire life, reach out to the host and see what games they’re planning so that you’re prepared.

      

Enjoy a little time off from planning the wedding, wear your favorite sundress, and enjoy being pampered and celebrated. Being the bride is so much fun! Take time to stop and take it all in. It will go by fast, and each party is another piece of the pie in your wedding planning. Have several pieces!

Chapter 3

      Everyone Has a Budget

      IN THIS CHAPTER

      

Understanding what’s important to you and your budget

      

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