Tara - The Journey To One's Self. Anjana Gill

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СКАЧАТЬ out my thoughts, I reassured myself. I was desperate to enter a state of peace and quiet. After all, Guruji had said it was the key to a beautiful and enchanting world of happiness.

      But no matter what I did, nothing helped. Vainly I tried to concentrate even harder, but the more I tried to concentrate, the more my thoughts went into a spin. The craziest and – above all – the most banal things went through my head.

      My attempts slowly turned into frustration. Apparently I was too stupid to succeed.

      “Tara, just relax. You’re all tensed up”, said Guruji, breaking the silence.

      “Yes, I know – but what am I supposed to do! My thoughts keep drifting off. I simply can’t concentrate enough”, I responded, disheartened and despondent.

      “Just let your thoughts happen, Tara. As soon as a thought comes, consider it in all calmness, and then let it move on. Imagine these thoughts are simply clouds or soap bubbles. Take a look at them and let them go. Allow yourself a little lightness. As soon as a thought enters your head, regardless of how absurd or banal it may be, look at it, smile at it, and then wrap it up in a soap bubble and let it drift by.

      If you get annoyed about thoughts disturbing you, you only give them unnecessary power. You bind them to yourself. These disrupting thoughts have received enough attention from you to feel really at home and then linger for longer than necessary.

      You don’t have to and you shouldn’t concentrate, Tara! Concentration is effort and that’s not what’s meant by meditating.

      Simply sit down, breathe, and see what happens.

      If you want to and it helps you, pay attention to your breathing – how it comes and goes.

      You’ll discover peace and stillness all by yourself.

      Stop trying hard and relax! Enjoy the lightness of being when you’re meditating!”

      I looked into his friendly face and immediately felt peaceful.

      Again I closed my eyes, breathed in and out and in again... I sensed my breathing, coming in and going out again – apparently all of its own accord – and felt myself gradually becoming calmer and calmer. As soon as a thought popped up, and believe me there were many, I imagined it to be a soap bubble and happily let it drift on by.

      Immediately these uninvited thoughts, these troublemakers, lost their power over me.

      “If you like and it makes things easier for you, then you can think up a spiritual place of meditation”, Guruji continued teaching me.

      “Keep your eyes closed, breathe in and out deeply, and now imagine a place where you feel really good and at ease! It can be a place at the seaside, in the hills, or on a meadow. You can make it a house or a place in the open countryside. Whatever you like and wherever you feel really comfortable and happy. Let your imagination fly.

      What’s the atmosphere like at this place of yours? Try to feel it with all your senses!

      Feel the grass, the wind, and the sand under your feet. Hear the birds twittering and listen closely to the sounds of mother nature!”

      Guruji paused a little while and then asked me: “Where are you now, Tara?”

      I’d found a truly wonderful place.

      “I’m in a clearing. It’s warm and filled with sunlight. Before me there’s a waterfall pouring down from about three metres above. The water cascades into a small stream dotted with bigger stones. There are colourful plants growing in rich abandon. The birds are twittering away to their hearts’ delight and the water is gushing along. To the right there’s a swing with two seats.”

      I really had the feeling of being there in that place.

      “Go over to the swing and sit down on it, Tara, and enjoy the moment!”

      I sat down on the swing and gave myself up entirely to this almost heavenly place.

      After a time, Guruji bid me return: “Now you’ve found your very own spiritual place of meditation, your safe haven. You can come back here whenever you want.”

      I opened my eyes and felt the happiness within.

      It had worked. I had understood the first step. I beamed at Guruji and he smiled back at me.

      “You are a good pupil, Tara.”

      We continue to sit together for a little while, until Guruji finally said:

      “It’s time for you to go home now, back to your life. Integrate peace and quiet into your daily life, Tara! You’ll see how it does you a world of good.”

      Guruji folded his hands together and made a small bow, as he had done in taking his leave the previous time. So it was truly time to go.

      I really had to tear myself away from this wonderful place of peace and quiet.

      “Come back whenever you want!”

      I once again took a deep sip from the love and calmness brimming over in Guruji’s eyes, stepped out onto the landing pier, and the inevitable happened: just like the last time, I turned around and wanted to wave goodbye to Guruji, but…

      ...the raft had disappeared. I took a look at my watch and, like before, not a second of time had passed by between my arrival and now.

      Strange! The whole thing was very mysterious.

      And again I was quite puzzled. What was happening? Something like that just couldn’t be.

      I went to the riverbank and looked out onto the water. Still a little confused, I put my hands into my pockets and discovered the quotation Guruji had given me before. There was the proof – it had all actually happened!

      An so this slip of paper immediately became a true treasure. I ran home, hardly able to contain my excitement.

      I put on some candles, sat down on a cushion, and unfolded the slip of paper:

      Stillness is a great blessing, it clears up

      the mind and lends it vitality.

      And this stillness is a source of great energy,

      not only the energy of thinking

      or the energy of machines,

      but unspoilt energy

      that has immeasurable powers and abilities.

      This is the place where

      the very active mind can be still.

      It is exactly this intensive activity of the brain

      that embodies the character and beauty of stillness.

      (Jiddu Krishnamurti)

      I read the quotation through again and again.

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